Unmasking Addiction: Finding Hope and Healing in Sobriety with Bruce Brackett
Are you ready to embark on a journey of resilience, recovery, and self-discovery? In this powerful episode, I sit down with Bruce Brackett, a social media personality, author, and certified international motivational speaker who has transformed his life from the depths of addiction to becoming an inspiring advocate for recovery.
Bruce shares his remarkable story, from being born into detox and facing early childhood trauma to his struggles with substance abuse and eventual path to sobriety. We explore the pivotal moments that shaped his life, including his adoption, his pursuit of Broadway dreams, and the dark road of addiction that nearly claimed his life.
Key Takeaways:
- The impact of early childhood experiences on addiction and recovery
- The power of embracing your authentic self and finding your true calling
- Strategies for overcoming addiction and maintaining sobriety
- The importance of support systems in the recovery journey
From Broadway Dreams to Rock Bottom
Bruce takes us through his journey from aspiring Broadway performer to struggling addict, revealing the challenges he faced and the lessons he learned along the way. We discuss how his pursuit of stardom led him down a dangerous path and how he found the strength to turn his life around.
The Art of Recovery
Discover how Bruce harnessed the power of creativity and self-expression to fuel his recovery. We explore his work as a visual artist and how he uses his platform to spread positivity and hope to his online community of over 1.4 million followers.
Building a Life of Purpose
Bruce shares insights from his memoir, “How to Breathe While Suffocating,” and offers practical advice for those struggling with addiction or seeking personal growth. Learn how he’s raised over $60,000 for charities and continues to make a positive impact through his activism and art.
This conversation is packed with raw honesty, inspiring moments, and practical wisdom for anyone facing life’s challenges. Whether you’re on your own recovery journey or simply seeking motivation to overcome obstacles, you’ll find valuable insights in Bruce’s story of transformation.
Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from someone who’s been through the depths of addiction and emerged stronger on the other side. Tune in now and start giving a heck about your own potential for growth and healing!
Connect with Bruce Brackett:
Website: https://www.bwbart.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bruce.brackett2/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bwb.positivity
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bwb.positivity/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bwb.positivity?lang=en
Connect with Dwight Heck:
Website: https://giveaheck.com (Free Book Offer)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/give.a.heck
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dwight.heck
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Giveaheck
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@giveaheck
LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/dwight-raymond-heck-65a90150/
TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@giveaheck
X: https://x.com/give_a_heck
Chapter Summaries(Full unedited transcript follows)
00:00:02
Introduction to Bruce Brackett: Overcoming Addiction and Finding Purpose
Bruce Brackett, a social media personality and author, shares his journey from addiction to recovery. His memoir “How to Breathe while Suffocating” details his struggles and transformation. Bruce discusses his mission to inspire others through positivity and recovery advocacy.
00:04:18
Bruce’s Origin Story: From Trauma to Transformation
Bruce recounts his early life experiences, including being born into detox and adopted from an abusive household. He describes pivotal moments that shaped his journey, including moving to New York City, falling into addiction, and eventually finding sobriety and purpose through art and advocacy.
00:10:34
The Importance of Gratitude and Emotional Balance
Bruce emphasizes the significance of gratitude in all emotions, not just happiness. He shares personal experiences of grief and discusses the complexity of human emotions. Bruce stresses the importance of allowing oneself to feel all emotions as part of the human experience.
Full Unedited Transcript
[00:00:02 – 00:01:38]
Good day and welcome to Give A Heck. On today’s show, I welcome Bruce Brackett. Bruce is a social media personality, author, entrepreneur, self taught visual artist and a certified international motivational speaker and life coach. Bruce’s latest memoir, how to Breathe while Suffocating, A story of overcoming addiction, recovering from trauma and healing my Soul, was published by Wiley and released April of 2024. Originally from Southwest Montana, Bruce moved to New York City at the age of 18 to pursue his dreams of being on Broadway. After many distractions, making it to off Broadway and developing several addictions, meth being a big one, Bruce found his true calling in his way back to sobriety through art and by advocating for recovery to his online audience of over 1.4 million people. This online community of recovery fuels Bruce’s love, passion, creativity and mission to share positivity and the possibilities of recovery. Bruce has raised over $60,000 for different charities around the globe and continues to do so through their activism on social media. Bruce has sold his artwork and negativity, be gone hand fans and merged to people in all 50 of the United States and in over 16 countries. I’d like to welcome you to the show, Bruce. Thanks so much for agreeing to come on and share with us some of your life journey.
[00:01:39 – 00:01:48]
Thanks, Dwight. Thank you so much for having me. And hello to give a heck, listeners. I give a heck, which is why I’m here. So thank you so much for having me.
[00:01:48 – 00:02:07]
Oh, thank you for coming on and applying, brother. For Those watching on YouTube, enjoy Bruce’s smile. Man, it’s. That’s contagious. You know, obviously if you’re driving, don’t. Don’t watch it. Listen, all right, check it out. When you get home, just make your choices. Yeah.
[00:02:07 – 00:02:08]
Seatbelt.
[00:02:08 – 00:02:19]
Yes. Wear your seatbelt, for goodness sakes. And, you know, make sure that everybody else in the vehicle is too, especially if you have children. But anyway, this. This public service announcement will end now.
[00:02:21 – 00:02:24]
It’s a good one. People need to be reminded.
[00:02:24 – 00:02:37]
Oh, absolutely, right. Like, do up your fly. Oh, sorry. That was a psa. I didn’t. That was a PSA that I really didn’t need to share. But hey, it’s always better to laugh than cry, right, Bruce?
[00:02:37 – 00:02:45]
Yes. Yes, it is. And it’s okay to cry too. But sometimes. Sometimes we need to laugh. Sometimes we need to laugh. Cry sometimes.
[00:02:45 – 00:02:55]
I’ve done that. Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes you have to laugh so hard that you’re crying and you have a snot bubble. I share. Shared too much.
[00:02:56 – 00:02:58]
You’re not alone. You are not Alone.
[00:02:58 – 00:03:07]
There anybody on here that’s listening or watching, admit it, you’ve had that happen. And if you haven’t, well, try it. Maybe you’ll like the experience.
[00:03:09 – 00:03:11]
It’S releasing.
[00:03:11 – 00:04:18]
Exactly. Who doesn’t need a, you know, who doesn’t need a good snot bubble? But anyway, well, we’ll not discuss the listeners anymore. Bruce, one of the things I start out with on my show is asking about a person’s origin story. I find it to be very illuminating about a person, their vulnerabilities, the things that they’ve gone through. It doesn’t have to be bad, but anything that you can remember from your earliest recollections, it could be something that you’re five, six years old, because you did go through quite a bit of things in your life that was an impactful thing that you didn’t realize maybe until you were a teenager, maybe you were an adult, and you look back and went, this was a really deciding moment in my life, and this is what changed things. And then you might have had another aha moment. So if you could share anything that you feel comfortable with, be as vulnerable as you’d like or you don’t like. But the more I find the more we share with the people that listen and watch us, the more they know, like, and trust us. So please do me a favor, Bruce, and share what you’ve gone through in your life from your earliest recollections to now.
[00:04:18 – 00:04:25]
Absolutely. Do we have seven years to talk? This might take a minute.
[00:04:25 – 00:04:32]
We could do Give a Heck, podcast with Bruce and Dwight and then spend the next seven years.
[00:04:33 – 00:04:37]
There we go. I’ve got a lot to say. You know, it’s. It’s.
[00:04:39 – 00:04:52]
It could be as long as it wants to be, right? It could be as long as it wants to be. And as we go through it, maybe I’ll be asking other questions within it, and we’ll just have a. We’ll just have a nice, relaxing time and enjoy each other’s company.
[00:04:52 – 00:06:39]
I love it. Well, thank you for again having me on and for giving me the opportunity to share a little hope and inspiration for those who might need it. Hello, everyone. My name is Bruce W. Brackett, and we have all been on a journey. We have all gone through a lot of different things. And for me personally, I was born into detox from drugs and alcohol, and that obviously affected the rest of my life. And when you ask me about early memories, one very pivotal memory that I have in the first three cognitive years of my life, growing up in a very abusive household. We were removed by the state and put into foster care and adopted. And on that day that the police officers and the social worker showed up to my house to take us away from my birth mom. I remember them picking me up and putting me in a car seat in the backseat of this car. And instantly I felt like I was growing, like my head was going to hit the roof of the cab. I just felt this immense weight lifted off of me. I had no idea what was going on or in that moment that my life was going to change forever for the better. And I can still feel it. I can still see it. I can still remember running around trying to find my Batman slippers because we literally had like 15 minutes to pack our things and go. And I did not find my Batman slippers. But a special shout out to a follower of mine who actually mailed me a pair of Batman slippers over the last year, you know, made me cry. Like intense snot bubble bawling.
[00:06:39 – 00:06:40]
I would too.
[00:06:40 – 00:09:03]
Yeah, it was a very special moment. And that moment in my life is a very special moment because it really helped to change the trajectory of the rest of my life. Had I grown up in my birth mom’s home or in her care, I would not be who I am today. I would not be bright, I would not be bubbly, I would not be out as a gay man proudly. I would not be who I am. And I am so grateful that the angels that be the universe, the gods were there and protected and got me out of a situation that probably could have killed me. So that was a very, very pivotal moment in my life. Obviously I went through a lot of recovery from that and trauma therapy for years and reintroducing myself to, to my addictions later on in life. At 16 years old, when I ran away from home when puberty hit because, you know, go a little crazy around that time and getting, getting my, my act together and graduating and moving to New York City after having years of musical theater experience and dancing in a dance academy. I really wanted to be in Broadway shows and falling back into distractions and nightclub life and just sex and drugs and alcohol and going down a really dark road again there. It’s been a roller coaster of a. And I wouldn’t have it any other way, really. Don’t regret decisions that I’ve made. I’m proud of them. I stand by them. Even things that normally we wouldn’t necessarily be so proud of. And in the time I wasn’t. But the reason why I’m proud of them now Is because I made amends for those things that I did and I showed up for myself and my better truth, whether the person accepted my amends or not, I was still able to clear the filter of staying in the past, to be able to move forward now, looking back at everything I’ve learned from and I’ve grown from, I’m just so grateful for it, are for it all. Because again, I wouldn’t be who I am today without all of those lessons.
[00:09:04 – 00:10:33]
Well, yeah, of course. And to be able to look back on, like you mentioned initially, it wasn’t something that was. You’re really proud about, but to be able to look back on stuff and reflect on it and see the gratefulness. And instead of living a life of regret, I know myself, I’ve gone through those trials and tribulations, Bruce. So many of my clients that I coach, family, friends, you know, they talk about regrets and stuff. And I’ll say, well, what happened in your life? And sometimes just having an open communication with them because they don’t have the talent or the expertise to have a conversation with themselves and actually talk through things. Yes, people listening, watching. I do talk to myself. I do reprimand myself. I do pat myself on the back and yes, I do kick myself in the pants. I do whatever it takes to make life’s journey. And I think to myself, if one, if that thing hadn’t happened that I have a regret about, what else would have changed in my life? And, Bruce, how many people actually reflect on things like that and think, you know what, if I wouldn’t have done that, this wouldn’t have happened, and start counting it down, writing it down, typing it out. And it’s very cathartic. People that are listening and watching to actually go through the traumas of our lives, the regrets of our lives, and actually force ourselves to pull out the good things that happened because of it. Right? There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. If we’re looking for it, if we’re looking for darkness, we’re going to always live in darkness. Wouldn’t you agree?
[00:10:34 – 00:12:23]
Oh, yeah, absolutely. The only thing I believe it was Martin Luther King who said, dark cannot extinguish dark, Only light can do that. And it’s so true. And I believe in it. And it’s a huge part of my mission on social media to present positivity and the pros rather than the cons. Because if we’re going to look for the cons or the negativity, we’re going to find it equal. Same thing on the other side. If you’re looking for the positivity or you’re looking for that. Yes. Or that success factor or the next right thing, it’s there. If you’re looking for it, it’s there. And there’s always an option to go in that direction. You know, we can’t control our first thought. Our first thought might always be negative. Maybe not, but good chance, you know, for example, something didn’t work out the way that you wanted it to and you blame yourself for it. And that negative self talk and that, that negative way, stop yourself, really train yourself over a period of time after practicing to train yourself to allow that first thought to happen and to control your second thought, you have control of that second thought. When you catch yourself being negative, stop yourself in your tracks and replace with the second thought something positive that might come out of that or something that you have learned from that situation or just reversing it in general, you say a negative thought, say the exact same thing in a positive way and train yourself in that direction and that’s the direction that you will end up going. It’s all about manifestation and showing up and practicing it.
[00:12:23 – 00:14:28]
Oh, I love that though. Practice makes perfect in anything that we do. And yeah, a lot of people don’t realize that. You know, I had a specialist on man, it must have been a year ago or more that talked about the science that your first thought, negative thought, that is, you have up to 45 seconds to be able to have trained yourself to flip it on its head and go the opposite to the positive. Or to be able to maybe not have the positive, but think of the negative thought you’re feeling and what is your surrounding environment has just happened. Was it a phone call, was it an email? What triggered you to feel that? Maybe you didn’t feel it initially, maybe it’s later on that feeling and really put some care into not beating yourself up and just understanding. You’re going to have character building moments. You don’t have to have bad days, you can deal with that. And I’m not perfect, Bruce. That 45 second window I’ve started, I practice that a lot now and I. And I’m more conscious about it. But your words are so important. You practice. Yes, you practice. You practice. You practice till when? Till the day you take your last breath. You practice to be a good human being, to be compassionate, kind, be empathetic, be happy, show sadness, be around those people that you can do all the gamut and you’re never judged. You’re just supported. You might be given some listening time. No conversation. You might have some listening with some great advice. You might have some listening where. The advice is terrible, but you. You know where it’s coming from, right? You know where it’s coming from. But isn’t that life embracing all aspects of the emotional roller coaster? Because people say to me, bruce, I just want to be happy, and all the time. And I’ll say, that’s impossible. Why? If you don’t have sadness, you don’t have joy. If you don’t have anger, you don’t. You know what I mean? Like, you need. You need the yin and yang of life.
[00:14:28 – 00:19:11]
Absolutely right. I just made a video about, specifically about that. So many people. I’ve asked thousands of people over my career, what’s your goal? If you could have anything in the world right now, what’s your goal? And a lot of people come back and they’re, I just want to be happy. That’s a beautiful thing. That’s not realistic. Happiness is from happenings. There’s a beginning and there’s an end to that happiness. It doesn’t last forever. Same with sadness, anger, anxiety, grief, depression, all of those things. There’s a beginning and an end, and happiness stems from happenings. What you can choose to have, though, is gratitude in all of those feelings. What you can choose to have is joy and all of those feelings. My mom passed away nine months ago on the 9th, and sorry for your loss. Thank you. You know, I. She had a beautiful life. And again, you know, my adoptive mom, I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. So she. She was very sick for about a. About a year. Misdiagnosed thought. The doctors thought that she had Epstein barr along with this and that and a lot of other things. Well, it just turned out that she had stage four lymphoma, and it went untreated because they couldn’t figure out what it was that she had. Anyway, I was her caregiver for the majority of that time, and I was going through my grieving process while she was still alive. And at some point, your loved one becomes so sick that they’re not really your mom anymore. They become a patient and someone that you love. So you’re going to do the things that you need to do. And when she passed away, there was sadness and there was relief and there was joy, and there was so many complex, different emotions packaged up and delivered all in one. That. And then immediately, immediately I had to go on my book tour. So I compartmentalized all of those feelings. And I put it away because I had business to do. I had a book tour to show through and show up for and just be there. So I’m gonna deal with that grief later is what I told myself. I’ve started grief counseling, and I’m very grateful that I. I’ve done that because what I’ve learned in the few sessions of going is. And the reason why I went is because I didn’t think I was grieving enough or in the ways that society says that we need to grieve and come to find out, Lo and behold, damn it, yes, I am grieving, and I did a lot of grieving while she was still alive. And I still am going through the grieving process. Am I sad that she’s gone? Yes. Do I miss her? Yes. Are there things that remind me of her? Should it be a sight, smell, a TV episode, a moment, a memory? Yes. And once I answered those questions to the therapist, she just plainly looked at me and she was like, yeah, you’re. You’re grieving. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. So to really circle back and go back to when I was asking people, what do you want out of life? What’s your goal? And they say, just to be happy. I remind them, we’re human beings. We are a complex being. Our minds are magnificent, and it’s a roller coaster, and it’s a beautiful one. Allow yourself to go through and feel all of those feelings, because that’s what makes us human, and that’s what gets us to the other side. You know, as an advocate for people, overcoming from drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are not the problem. There’s something deeper there. There’s a root. The drugs and alcohol is a solution that you might have turned to, a coping mechanism that you might have turned to, but there’s something deeper there. And the majority of the time is that people are escaping themselves because they don’t understand or don’t like the way that they’re feeling. Their own internal dialogue, the way that they love or view themselves. And a lot of it is just, be. Be human, be here, be now, and find that gratitude, that one thing that you’re thankful for. And for me, you know, I made the wake up list, so I have opportunity today. How am I going to take advantage of that? And that keeps me grounded, that keeps me going, and I’m. Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:11 – 00:19:49]
I start every day like that, brother. You talk it about you. You state it differently. But I wake up and I just say, thank you for allowing me to be alive today, to have another shot, another opportunity to make a difference first and foremost in my life. Because if I’m not healthy, between my 6 inches and my heart and my emotional state, my mental state isn’t solid. How do I serve others without being that big problem right now? As a side note, on, on the Internet and in the world in general, people being a facade, they’re broken behind, but yet they’re coaching me how to be better. What do you know what I mean?
[00:19:49 – 00:19:51]
I did because it’s true.
[00:19:52 – 00:21:40]
I do what my buddy does videos, and he calls them the Guru. The Guru Clans, everybody. That’s a guru, right? He called the guru class. It’s hilarious. Yeah, but you know, at the end of the day, dude, it’s just people have to understand gratefulness. Like, I love it because I focus on that every day, twice a day, minimum. People, People are going, why minimum? Well, sometimes I have character building days and I, and I try to. And it doesn’t function at work, but I know in the morning when I have gratefulness for waking up and for the things that are going to happen, I’m going to have this great podcast with Bruce and then when I go to bed, wow, what a great podcast. Thank you for me again. I’m God fearing. I thank God. Thanks, thank you, Lord for bringing Bruce to me. You know, a brother from another mother. We connected. We had a great combo. And I have gratefulness and I have this energy laying in bed and I sleep more peacefully when I have gratefulness, when I reflect on the good, bad and ugly of my day. And I, and I, and I put on a pedestal things such as this, this grand conversation. Right. I love how you put that. Gratefulness is so overlooked. People live in the world of regrets, the valley of despair. They just, they have no purpose. And it just, it breaks my heart. And I’ve had to get tough about that because it was really, it would really affect my own emotional state as an empath too. And I’m an empath as well. So I pick up. Yeah, so your hand like this is like an antenna and you pick up everything. Dude. Dude. I was a single full time dad of five kids, four of them daughters. How do you think that affect me as an empath? And I didn’t even know I was an empath. I was literally my hair being gone as a prime example of what.
[00:21:41 – 00:21:42]
Oh, bless you.
[00:21:42 – 00:22:23]
They’re all adults now, brother. But yeah, I found somebody that coached me, worked with me, and made me realize that I’m an Empath. I could never figure out why I had some of these feelings and stuff. And I was just having a conversation. She was a guest on the podcast. Then I met her at a conference where I spoke, then we had another conversation, then I had her on again. And it’s just. My point is, is we always got to be on the climb. You can be stuck. Whoever’s listening watching, it’s okay to be stuck. It’s not okay to stay camp the rest of your life, to live in quiet desperation, to not feed your brain good things and good people and good, good experiences. Life is in session. This is not a dress rehearsal.
[00:22:23 – 00:22:27]
Yep, absolutely. This is live. This is live.
[00:22:28 – 00:22:32]
Live with Bruce and Dwight in the.
[00:22:32 – 00:22:33]
In the flesh. In the moment.
[00:22:34 – 00:23:20]
Yeah, in the moment. Maybe we’ll be blessed to actually meet one another. And I’m a hugger, so maybe we’ll get a hug in there, too. It’s awesome, brother. So, you know, I want to back up a little bit. You talked about just some things that I’m curious about, and I find many of the things that I’m curious about my listeners and viewers are curious about. So you went through all this initial learned behavior and you turn to drugs and alcohol. Like, yes, you, you went through the adoption, fostering and adoption process and got adopted by somebody. But like you said, you turned 16, right. And things just went to. Your brain chemistry wasn’t necessarily on all, all level playing field for life. Because I’ve been there and, you know.
[00:23:21 – 00:23:24]
And I still don’t know if it’s where it needs to be.
[00:23:26 – 00:24:07]
Hey, honesty is good. Vulnerability is good. Right? You’re a working project just like me, Bruce. Right. We both are. So, you know, when we talk about learned behavior, how dominant do you believe because of the process and path you went through? And you can share that path to more details if you want. From the fostering to the adoption. How important is it for people to understand the learned behavior that has led them on a path they don’t necessarily want to be on? How important is it for them to break free of that? And do you have any suggestions for somebody that even in their older ages that’s still stuck in that learned behavior, but they’re starting to have realizations?
[00:24:07 – 00:31:20]
Yeah, absolutely. I love that you brought up older ages, too, because you were never too old or too young to learn new things or new ways of living your life or new ways of showing up for yourself or for other people. And for me, at such a young age, I was removed from my birth home when I was 3 years old and I was in foster care. This is, I’m very grateful and I know that this is not a common thing in the foster care industry. In fact, it’s almost unheard of. I was only in the foster care system for about two, three years and I only went through two foster homes. The first one I was in for six months and then the second one became my parents. They ended up adopting us and that is such a gift and amazing. The second we were placed in my parents home, they immediately put all of us, all of my siblings and I into trauma therapy and we began the process of work. And they quickly realized that we’re creative children. So they removed the dining room and replaced it with an arts and crafts room so that we could get out all of our feelings and emotions and just create and make something beautiful, whatever it may be, you know, And I’m truly grateful for that. However, I did not authentically or honestly do the work for a long time. For a long, long time. And I’m talking 20 something years. So I would show up to therapy and in the beginning years I would just nod and agree with the therapist and say yes or no and just say what it was that I thought they wanted to hear or just say anything just to get the session over with and not truly do the work, which did not pan out for me. That doesn’t work. Which, why later when I turned 16 and started going through puberty, I didn’t, I hadn’t done the work. So when I hit that stage in my life, I really was chemically unbalanced and dissociated and ran away from home and wouldn’t have gone that way, I believe, had I really dove deep and become honest and did the work in the early years. But we all do the things that we do. We do them in our own way, in our own time and it works out or it doesn’t. And that really depends on the individual. It’s the amount of work that you’re honestly willing to put into it is the result that you will get out of it. And that’s with anything in life. So I ran away from home and I went on a complete tangent. I went to several different cities across the United States, across the United States on Greyhound bus with money that I had stolen. I, I stole my parents car to get to a bus station along with money. And I went to several different cities and I reintroduced myself to, to drugs and sex at a very young age and started really working as a sex worker just so that I get housed or get high. And that happened over the period of a summer. And when I went back, when I finally had enough and survived, survived. Luckily, out of all of the situations that I faced over that summer of 2007, I was, I, you know, the angels were with me. And I went home and because I had broken the law and stole money and stole a car, I went to juvenile detention center and from there I went to group homes. And I then through all of that process, I started to one, sober up. I started to get into my true mental, chemically balanced brain and started to do the work for myself. My parents put me in a dance academy because ballet will teach you so much discipline that you necessarily would not have and certain other forms. And as a performer, they just knew that that was going to be good for me. I would enjoy it, but it would also give me a lot of discipline and I loved it. Which stemmed a deeper passion for performing. I really had my head on straight and I moved to New York City at 18 and was auditioning and dancing and going to Broadway Dance center and doing all of the things I needed to do. And somewhere quickly along the line I would say, within my first year of living in New York City, I found myself high again and distracted and living that life. And it, it really was my choice and something that I fell into. I started to listen to the rejection in the audition rooms. And after hundreds and hundreds of times of being rejected, either you push through or you give up. And I gave up. What I heard there was rejection. And what I’ve learned since then is rejection in any capacity in life is not rejection. It is redirection towards your yes, so keep going. And I did not know that at the time. So now how to go back and talk to my 18 year old self. I would say that to myself and maybe I would end up, it doesn’t matter. I ended up where I am today and I’m grateful. I eventually got to Off Broadway. I checked the box, I did the things eventually, but I only did those things sober. And I did those things with the guidance and the help from other people, mentors, therapists, counselors. And I would say I really started to do the work for myself after I was diagnosed with hiv. I was diagnosed with acute Hep C and pneumonia while being a sex worker, while being strung out on meth and crack and a whole bunch of other drugs that I hit the deepest rock bottom and I wasn’t going to open the trap door to see what was farther down. I was done. I was done. I was Dying. And I made the decision, either do or die. And I chose to do so. I checked myself into rehab and I threw away anything and anyone that had any association with my bad habits. I completely changed my entire life by choice. And by showing up and taking action with the guidance from other people, therapists, counselors, rehabs. I did not do that alone. And I really have to give credit for those who held my hand along the way and showed me my true calling of that little boy that I abandoned. And they reminded me of that little ember, that spark in me to.
[00:31:20 – 00:31:21]
I call that tenacity.
[00:31:22 – 00:31:25]
Yeah. You know? Yeah. And it really.
[00:31:25 – 00:31:30]
You have that spark of tenacity, that. That superpower. It really is.
[00:31:30 – 00:32:37]
It. It is. And the thing is, we all have it, every single one of us. And it’s. It’s a choice whether you are going to believe it and show up for it, because you can, you know, you can talk yourself off a ledge or you can talk yourself in the other direction. And that’s up to the individual. So many people say, as a portrait artist, oh, I. I could never do that. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body. You know, all I can do is a stick figure. No, that’s not true. Have you applied yourself? Have you shown up and taken art classes? Do you have the discipline? Oh, I’m not a dancer. I could never do that. Well, that’s not true. Have you tried and continued and learned and allowed yourself to fall and make mistakes and maybe you don’t get it, and in this way, oh, I can’t sing. I can’t. Okay. Have you ever taken voice lessons and gone through and done those things? We are humans. We are creatives, we are artists. I believe that we all have those talents. But when you say you can’t, you won’t. And when you say you can, you will. So which one do you want to choose?
[00:32:38 – 00:35:24]
Wow. This is just. There was so many, as I mentioned, and before we recorded. I do. My listeners already know this. I do a lot of prep about the show and some of the best conversations. I don’t have to look down, it just flows. And you brought up the fact of so many things, right? You were 16 years old. You. You took off, you went through all this stuff. You turned to being a sex worker to survive because you are a survivor. How you survived isn’t. Isn’t the topic. Survival and. And being tenacious is the discussion. And what everybody needs to realize is no matter where you are in the valley of despair and the struggles, if you Have a survival instinct. You will find a way to survive. The end result of that survival, all the things you went through, hiv, hep C, all that stuff wasn’t fun, but you survived. You had a sport. Just listening to your story, people listening, watching. When I talk about tenacity, you know, I talk about it a lot. That’s. Now we’re going to add that flavor, though. For Bruce, he had the spark of tenacity within him that was being. You know, he was never going to give up, no matter what he went through, from being adopted to running, you know, going through. Imagine you got bullied as a child to a certain extent. Oh, because of yours, because of your uniqueness. You are your unique, wonderful human being. I don’t matter what your sexual orientation is, just all the things you’ve gone to running away, to coming back, to getting involved in ballet. And I smiled and you said ballet. Because my one daughter, so proud of her. She’s she now is. She travel nurses around the U.S. she’s. She’s Canadian. She comes back here. Nurses too. But you know, my kids went through a lot through divorce, like through all the trauma from going from going back and forth to me getting full custody. And one daughter was always struggling and felt like she was in the middle child syndrome. And she was in dance. All the kids were, even my son when they were younger. And she just kept on pushing, doing solos do, group do. She was part of. She went to a dance school for high school here. She just kept on pushing, getting honors and doing things. And why did I do it as a dad, Spent money that I couldn’t even afford to buy. That $400 costume that she needed for her solo is because it gave her a sense of discipline. Like you mentioned. I love when you talk about it dance. People that don’t understand it dance. Just like people put their kids in martial arts, right? Jiu jitsu or whatever dance teaches. It is a sport. I’m sorry for the people that don’t agree.
[00:35:24 – 00:35:25]
Absolutely.
[00:35:25 – 00:36:35]
100 a sport. It literally teaches discipline. It gives you mental toughness. It gives you critical thinking skills. Because you have to remember you might be in seven different dances, two solos or whatever. You got to remember everything. You got to remember how to emote. You got to remember the physical posture, the stance, like, oh, my gosh, I won’t go on because I’m a dance dad. If you haven’t figured it out. I was cheering my. I was there taking her to all the competitions, cheering her on. I was man, still am at heart, right yeah. Here’s a dirty secret or a good secret for people. I used to watch all the dad shows with my daughter and when she moved away to go to nursing school, I wanted to be closer to her. For quite a few years I still watched them. And I am the type of person on Tik Tok Instagram. I follow dancers and I watch them, individuals, couples, groups. Why? Because I think it is such a unique sport, it’s such a unique art form and a creativity that a person can share from their heart to their feet or their arms or whatever they’re doing on the dance floor. Breathtaking. But anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox. I, I loved it.
[00:36:35 – 00:36:44]
I absolutely. It really, it really saved my life. And you, you nailed it. It’s the discipline, it’s the love, it’s.
[00:36:44 – 00:36:47]
The language, camaraderie with the other dancers.
[00:36:48 – 00:37:05]
It is, it, it really is this, this relationship, this, this love language. And I fully agree with you, it’s a sport. Anything that you do physically and you compete in, hello, that’s called a sport, my friend.
[00:37:05 – 00:37:08]
Yeah, but so many people are negative about it, Bruce. It’s just.
[00:37:08 – 00:37:11]
Yeah, exactly.
[00:37:11 – 00:38:00]
We’re looking for those like minded people. You also talked about the fact that you had to. I love that. There was so much packed into what Bruce had to say. People, please go back and listen to it again or watch it on YouTube. He talked about associations. You had to change your associations. You had to disconnect from the people that were that anchor pulling you back. Who would be one of the most influential people like you talked about, Many, many people. You don’t have to single them out. You don’t have to. You can change their name or group’s name. Who would be the most impactful. When you look back right now, who would be the first person you’d think of that never gave up on you and supported you in the way you needed to push forward? Not necessarily with advice, but just. They were always your sounding board, your rock.
[00:38:01 – 00:38:04]
Yeah. Oh, so many people. My mom and dad.
[00:38:04 – 00:38:06]
Name as many as you want.
[00:38:06 – 00:39:17]
Yeah, for sure. My mom and dad, they, from the beginning of me being in their lives, when they welcomed me and were so supportive and encouraging and if I said I didn’t want to do something, they didn’t force it. If they saw that I was actually shining and showing talent at something, they might have pushed me a little bit more in that direction. Performing arts, singing, dancing. They knew I was good at it, so they allowed me to do all of the auditions that I wanted. My dad at 12 years old, flew me out to New York City for my first Broadway national tour audition for Oliver. I had previously played Oliver locally in Montana. And just the opportunities and just always saying that you got it, you can do this. They the love and encouragement from them unmatched. My friends Kat, Francis, Adina, Micah, Jay, Quincy. Always, always being there. My loved one, teo the therapist. Ms. Fitzgerald, there’s.
[00:39:17 – 00:39:20]
You had plethora of people that loved you.
[00:39:20 – 00:39:21]
Yeah.
[00:39:21 – 00:39:28]
And people listening. That’s the biggest thing to climbing. Having people that believe in you before you can believe in yourself.
[00:39:28 – 00:42:20]
Absolutely. Now had you asked me this question several years ago, it would, it would have been the same people. But I was in the mindset, I’m alone, I can’t think of one person. Going back to gratitude. You experience enough time and gratitude, you’ll have those aha moments of oh wow, that person actually was there for me. I’m also grateful for the people that were not good for me and the amount of lessons that I learned from them. Now going back and with eyes wide open, paying attention to what was and what I learned from them, I’m grateful for them because now I know what I don’t want in my life. Now I know what I am not going to stand for and those boundaries are stronger and I, you know, same with all of my negative experiences, all of my, my so called failures or the things that didn’t work out in life, I’m, I’m almost more proud of them because it got me this, it got me to where I’m at today and I’m going to have a lot more failure or things that don’t work out in the future and I welcome them because it’s going to push me in the direction that I actually really need to go. And for anyone who’s listening, I really believe that failure is not. I think we put too much energy and too much focus on the word failure when it’s just a lesson. Just because you failed doesn’t mean it’s the end or there’s no other direction that you can go. Let’s normalize. Loving the word failure and it’s actually a good thing because it’s going to point you in a different direction. You have to be open minded about that because when you are, you’ll get to the next step of where you’re trying to go. It’s like climbing a mountain or climbing a massive staircase and your goal is at the top there. Well, we’re not just going to have one foot down at the bottom and Expect our other foot to get all the way up at the top. We have to take all of those steps moving forward, we might slide back a little bit, but we keep going. And when you get to top of that mountain or that staircase, pause, look around, take in that view, appreciate, give yourself the biggest round of applause because you got to that top again. It’s not over because at the top is the beginning of the next journey. It’s the beginning of the next mountain, the next staircase. Allow yourself to take those steps. Otherwise, like you said earlier, don’t stay stuck camping. You stay stuck camping, eventually the avalanche is going to come over you. If you keep moving in different directions, it’s amazing where your life is going to take you.
[00:42:20 – 00:43:33]
No, absolutely. I like how you put that, though. Like so many people need to embrace failure. They need to embrace rejection. They need to embrace the fact that every no as a next calling for a yes. And if you look at no all the time, we’re like, you know, I just thought about a conversation I had with my daughter yesterday. I was helping her out with a couple of my grandchildren. One’s five ones, two. And we’re talking about stuff and we’re talking about failure. We’re just having a great conversation about moving forward. And I hear the, the starting in her conversation is this different than it would have been. Like you said three years ago, if I had asked you about who was important in your life three years ago, I wouldn’t have heard some of the things I heard about from her. I won’t get into the details, but just the energy and her enthusiasm, the younger generations like yourself, like my daughter in her late 20s, others on in their 30s. It’s just beginning. You know, you talk to people, oh, it’s too late. I can’t learn nothing. Old dog, new tricks, right? What? That is such a lie. It’s such a fallacy. Embrace.
[00:43:33 – 00:43:34]
It’s an excuse.
[00:43:34 – 00:45:12]
Exactly. Embrace failure to understand that you need to reflect on that failure. If you got a scrape, put a band aid on it, stand up, get going and find the people, like the plethora of people you’ve had supporting you and have a conversation. Know who just will listen. Know who will give good advice and listen. Know who not to get ahold of, change your associations like Bruce and I have done. It’s made my life so much better. Having boundaries is not a bad thing. Going to a family event 30 minutes before leaving, 30 minutes after. Protect yourself is a boundary. That’s healthy. It doesn’t mean it has to be nasty. Maybe you like being with your, you know, everything’s rosy and sunshine with your family. And you’re okay with listening to Aunt Pearl beside you tell you the same negative story. Every single family event till the day you. She dies or you die. Maybe you’re into that, but know how to deal with that. Pearl know how to. Maybe. Maybe you can be that light for Aunt Pearl because she’s felt so down and alone for how many years? Maybe her husband died. Maybe she was a spinster. Maybe she never got married. What? Who knows? Just be a good person, right? And learn your boundaries and learn to escape when it’s. You know what. Hey, Bruce. We’re in the middle of a conversation. I look at Bruce and Bruce said something that just. Just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s okay for me to check out. Hey, Bruce, I just remembered I had something. It’s been so great. I can’t wait to see you next time. And Lee, protect yourself, right? If that Bruce thinks I’m an a hole because I left. Oh, well, I guess Bruce and I aren’t in the same tribe, so be it, right?
[00:45:12 – 00:45:12]
Yep.
[00:45:12 – 00:45:14]
Am I right or wrong?
[00:45:14 – 00:45:45]
Oh, absolutely. I love that you bring that up. It’s so true. Very famous quotes that I’m sure a lot of us have heard. I’m sure that you’ve heard. And if not, you know, for those of you who haven’t, no is a complete sentence and you don’t need to elaborate. You don’t need to explain yourself. You feel like you’re in a room where someone is just sucking the energy out of everyone and they’re. You feel gross after shower.
[00:45:45 – 00:45:47]
Yeah. You feel like you need a shower.
[00:45:47 – 00:45:50]
Those energy vampires that.
[00:45:50 – 00:45:52]
Yes. Everything. Yeah.
[00:45:52 – 00:46:13]
Yeah. You know, and you. You don’t. I love that you said, oh, you know, you check your watch and you’re just over. You’re checked out of the conversation. You look at your watch or you look at your phone and you’re allowed to be like, oh, you know, I. I have. I have something that I have to do. It’s great to see you. It’s great to talk to you.
[00:46:13 – 00:46:16]
We’ll will touch base again.
[00:46:16 – 00:46:21]
We’ll touch base. And you don’t have to say when. You don’t have to give all of that.
[00:46:21 – 00:46:22]
It could be never.
[00:46:22 – 00:46:57]
It could be never. And you know, when, when, especially when someone is. Is over sharing or taking too much from you, they’re just takers. Like, they take, take, take a good way. My mom taught me this. A good way to present a Pause or a stop in that conversation is simply to say, oh, that’s good to know. Yeah, it’s a great answer. It can work for so many different things. It can, yeah, it can work for so many different.
[00:46:58 – 00:47:41]
You know what, I’ve utilized this so many times when people get too personal, not just about what they’re sharing about themselves, maybe they’re, they’re asking me questions that they don’t have a barrier to entry. They just, they think they can ask whatever I’ve, I’ve done this in the taught. One of my daughters, she said, she’s 38, she says, dad, I still use. You know, I’ll look at people and say, that’s a great question. Why do you ask when they say when, they’ll say, hey, Bruce, tell me about this, about your life, when really they don’t know you very well. It’s not really an appropriate question. And, you know, I’ll just look at people and say, that’s a great question. Why do you ask? Ask. Well, but I just wanted to know. Oh, that’s, that’s great. You wanted to know. And I just divert it somewhere else. Right.
[00:47:41 – 00:47:41]
Yeah.
[00:47:42 – 00:48:20]
I don’t have to answer it or I’m leaving for, you know, I’m in a conversation that I know I got to go to this conference or the small group setting or it’s a one on one with somebody that’s kind of difficult. And I know ahead of time I’ve already told myself I’m going to start out, you know, hey, Bruce, we got, got 30, I got 30 minutes and then I have plans. And you know, in my brain, my brain is saying the plan is, is not to stay in this negativity zone more than 30 minutes to protect myself. I’m not lying. I’m never lying when I tell people, you know, oh, I forgot about something. I gotta run. What did I forget about? To protect my mental mindset and I need to get the hell away from you.
[00:48:20 – 00:48:38]
And it’s okay if they dig deep and they really want to know the answer. Be honest. I mean, if you need to be, you know, I. That thing I needed to forget or that thing that I forgo is exactly what you just said. The thing I forgot is that I need me time. So good to see you.
[00:48:38 – 00:48:40]
You don’t have to tell them. It’s none of their business.
[00:48:40 – 00:48:41]
It’s none of their business.
[00:48:41 – 00:49:37]
No, it’s none of their business. Like you said, Noah’s a complete sentence. And I just, yeah. You know, I just get to a point where I have to. I had to drive past my need to be a people pleaser and forget about pleasing me. I forgot about pleasing me, dude. And I was always give, give, give, stretching myself, even raising the five kids and getting to bed and dealing with my clients, and everybody wanted a piece of me. I started losing my identity, right. Because I was always trying to be what other people thought I should be. And that learned behavior of how we grow up and what people expect us to be, it doesn’t come just from our parents, you know, that. It comes from school, extracurricular activities, aunts, uncles, television, society, now social media, which is overwhelming with the keyboard warriors thinking they know my life better than I do. All right, but whatever. You know where I’m coming from, Bruce.
[00:49:37 – 00:49:52]
Oh, yeah, yeah. They’ve never met you. They don’t know one thing about you. They see one thing and they just latch on to that and, you know, okay, let them. Don’t engage. You don’t have to defend yourself. It’s. You know, I’ve gone.
[00:49:52 – 00:50:12]
I go in now. I go in now and I. I delete things that are totally offensive. And the reason people say, oh, you should just keep there. No, because the people that engage with me, that are positive don’t need to have that one little. It’s like that pee under the mattress in that old story where the peas down 10 mattresses and they could still feel that little irritation. Right?
[00:50:12 – 00:50:14]
The P and the princess. Yeah.
[00:50:14 – 00:50:56]
Yes. Thank you. I forgot the name, but I still remember that story. Right? It’s the same thing. Why do. Why do I have to have that little comment, that little prick pricking into my. Into my existence, into the people that. We have synergy, we have energy together. It’s okay to leave people in a season that you aren’t together in anymore. That season, your life can change. You can reframe how you look at stuff. We can all grow together. You just need to find great people that give you good thought processes. And maybe you need to hear the same thing from Dwight a million times. After listening to 200 and some episodes, maybe Bruce’s take is more refreshing. I don’t care.
[00:50:56 – 00:51:02]
Just grow. We. We do it together. And that’s the beauty of it.
[00:51:02 – 00:52:41]
Yeah, just grow, man. So one of the things I want to. This is going to be a little bit sensitive, but I want to get into this conversation in our last. We’re going to probably take you right to the last minute. I got quite a few things I want to ask about. This is going to be about mental health, recovery, and moving forward and some of the things you’ve gone through, like you were clean from hard drugs for the last decade and then a year from alcohol, weed, maybe it’s a little bit longer. What was the last 10 years like that, you know, you say you still have a mental battle most days when things such as meth was are involved. And you did it for so long as obviously. And I know people close in my life, like really close to my life, won’t get it won’t state what that are on the meth bandwagon, that struggle that take drugs every single day to help offset that and how it’s destroyed their lives and they’ve continued on. And I’ll get to the point of this for the listeners in you. They got to a point in their lives where they were still doing alcohol and weed. But really are you a recovering meth addict if you’re still doing something else that’s an addiction? Because I have gone with friends and family to addicted addiction as their sponsor, as their support person. And every time I went to it, whether it was for drugs or alcohol or both, they said the same thing, you must quit everything in order to truly heal. What was that like, that journey like for you that you were able to. Did you have defend still doing alcohol and weed while you were on the meth bandwagon? Tell us about that journey and the struggles you went through, if you wouldn’t mind.
[00:52:41 – 00:53:22]
Yeah, I think that’s a really good question and I know a lot of people are not going to agree with this but like minded people will and people who are willing to really face themselves in their own feelings or if you’re ready to hear this, but you are not sober if you’re taking something that’s going to alter your mindset or your brain, drugs, alcohol, weed, quite frankly, in my own opinion, they’re all drugs. If it alters your mind, it is a drug, you know, and a drug doesn’t necessarily have to be or addiction does not necessarily have to be a substance.
[00:53:22 – 00:53:24]
It could be, you know, sex addiction.
[00:53:24 – 00:53:32]
Yeah, yeah, sex, which was a great one for me. Anger, yes. Gambling, money over, shopping over under eating.
[00:53:32 – 00:53:36]
Thank you for bringing the rest up because there is so much more social.
[00:53:37 – 00:53:49]
Media escaping in social media and you’re just doom scrolling. You Netflix and chill. Are you really chilling? Like you know what’s really happening there.
[00:53:49 – 00:53:50]
Exactly.
[00:53:52 – 00:56:26]
So yes, I did. I had all of these excuses. I was very proud of myself for sobering up from all of the hard drugs which were many and you know, meth of course being a big one. But I’ll be honest. Crack cocaine, ketamine, ghb, which is also known as G, which is also a date rape drug. Oh my God. Tr like it, it was just, it was so much Molly like, I mean it went on and on for so long and once they sobered up from that, I told myself, oh, you know, it’s been a year and a half of really being sober or I, I shall say clean from hardcore drugs. I’ve never had a problem with alcohol. I don’t have a problem with alcohol. I can handle that. I don’t know, it was probably a year into socially drinking that I found myself at the bottom of the bottle and completely dependent upon it and weed, overusing, saying, oh, I’m using this for my mental health and I’m using this medicinally and medically for, for better purposes. When I was smoking all day, all night, from the second I woke up to the second I went to bed and using all of those excuses, come to find out once I was really, really honest with myself. Yeah, I, I’m an addict. I have an addictive personality and I, I just, I, I can’t, I have to be sober, sober thinking, not just a dry drunk, not just a dry person in recovery. Meaning that you don’t do the substance, but you’re mentally not doing the work for you to become spiritually fit, physically fit, mentally fit. It’s very important. If you’re not doing, you know, not everyone is going to do a 12 step program, which I do. And that was a huge key to success for me. I take what I need and I leave the rest. And I, I do the steps, I do the principles, I give it away. You can’t keep what you have if you don’t give it away. I believe in that and I, for a long time I, I didn’t do that work and I gave myself the excuses and the allowance to turn to other substances thinking that it wasn’ issue when it still ripped my part, my, my life apart. So yeah, and I, I know I’m not alone in that. Oh, but can you.
[00:56:26 – 00:56:27]
Absolutely not.
[00:56:27 – 00:56:45]
Can you really say that you’re sober if you’re still using other things? No, you can’t, you’re, I agree you’re not sober if you’re using other things to cope or to avoid. If just doesn’t work that way.
[00:56:45 – 00:57:30]
Well, it’s, it’s, it’s something that I’ve had this discussion with many people, including people that are similar journey to you to having Quit maths for years, but yet when people get together, there’s nothing, nothing for them to down half a 26 or more. Right? Get drunk. And yes, they may not be doing meth anymore, but they replaced that tendency and that need to want meth or coke or whatever with alcohol. Right? Or now all of a sudden, they trade. Like you said, when you trade one addiction for another and you’re not working on you and you’re not growing, are you really moving forward?
[00:57:30 – 00:57:30]
No.
[00:57:30 – 00:57:31]
You’re still stuck.
[00:57:32 – 00:57:32]
Yep.
[00:57:32 – 00:59:05]
Right. You’re still stuck. And thank you for your. Your vulnerability and your honesty. And I don’t know if these people that I’m. That are in my life, that have gone through this, that are still going through, will ever hear this message because they’re not listening to podcasts. That is not their jam. Right? Not to say that you can’t be a functional alcoholic and listen to a podcast. Most people I know, I have some hot, very high functioning potheads in my life. Very high functioning alcoholics. And that’s what they think they are. They can go and do the task, do the job, put on that mask. They can move their lives forward. And it just tears me inside apart. And I find myself over the years distancing myself where I don’t even communicate with any of them anymore because I see the same patterns. I’m on the climb. They’re stagnant. Does that mean we can’t be friends? In some ways, yeah. It means I can’t be friends with them because friendship to me is communication, whether it’s once or twice a year because we’ve. We’ve live in another state or city or whatever, but we still, once in a while, Bruce, I’ll like my car, like my post, or I’ll heart his post. And that’s still friendship because that’s acknowledgment. It’s not just phoniness because I worship Bruce and I’m one of his minions. It’s because I’ve got a connect. I’ve got a connection. Right. Does that make sense? Right? We just need, we need to put in that effort. Right. Not that being one of your minions would be bad. I just. I’m not saying that.
[00:59:06 – 00:59:07]
What, what minions?
[00:59:09 – 00:59:12]
They’re hiding out the window. I just seen someone waving right there.
[00:59:14 – 00:59:32]
You’re. You’re amazing. Yeah. And it is communication, but it’s also being able to show up for. For your loved one. And I know for me, when I was using, I wasn’t showing up for no one, not even myself.
[00:59:32 – 01:00:37]
So, and you know, you straight, you’re remarkable. Like, like I said to you, it was nice reading about you. We had a conversation, pre recording listeners, viewers, with, with Bruce, that we really don’t know one another. But I. What if I can get an emotion or a connection through the written word? Obviously we read it based on what our mindset’s on. So whatever my mindset is, when I delve into all the requests to get for the podcast, Bruce has struck me, really. It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling. It just did. Because I could see commonalities within my life. Age has nothing to do with it. Commonality can exist with somebody that’s a teenager. When I’m in my 50s, it can happen with somebody 20, 30 years older than me. It’s do you want connection? And I had that connection and now we’re having this fabulous conversation. Laughter, some seriousness. This is what relationships can be in a very short period of time.
[01:00:37 – 01:00:40]
Yeah, absolutely right. I agree.
[01:00:40 – 01:01:13]
And it can stick. It can stick. It really can. We can continue to support and help people. But you know, one of the things I wanted to ask you too though, was when you had that realization that you were going to quit, like totally quit, go drive from alcohol and from weed, what transpired in that? What. What had been transpiring your life at that period of time? Was there somebody that was like a little birdie chirping in your ear? Or is it just. Did you have a wake up moment and just go, enough’s enough?
[01:01:13 – 01:05:42]
Yeah, I think a lot of. I think everything combined, no matter what substance it is, it’s going to tear your life apart. And one of the things that I learned over my course of my addictions is my addictions want me dead. And wow, that’s. It’s. It’s not a friend, it is not a tool, it is not a coping mechanism. It is a thing or an entity, a substance that wants you dead. And that’s the only goal it has. And once I realized that after getting DUIs, after being arrested, after my relationships becoming very turbulent and not well, and people leaving my life and me starting to feel more alone and alone, I had that. Enough’s enough, enough. I am so sick of this. I am. I am more than this, and I be damned and not going to let this addiction kill me, whatever the addiction is, which. I am so grateful that I woke up to that again. I saw that, that ember that was burning inside of me, that light, and I chose that more so than I wanted anything else. Here’s the thing about Addiction. Addiction is wanting something so badly that you know it’s going to kill you and you, you want it anyway. And when I allowed myself to realize that that’s the truth, I wanted to live so much more than I wanted to die. And whether it was passing suicide or active, active thoughts of that or just not even realizing that that’s the road I was heading down, was actively killing myself, whether I was conscious of it or not, I wanted to live so much more. And once I was able to get that traction under my belt again. I’m human. I’m not perfect. I am a chronic relapser. Doesn’t mean I have to be in the future. You know, it’s easier to stay sober than it is to try and get sober again. And that’s what I’m holding on to. I’m so grateful for my following and my therapist and my partner Teo and all everyone involved in my life. That is a gift. People have come back into my life. Not all of them, but, you know, there’s a handful of people that have come back into my life and with their love and support and encouragement, especially from my fans and the BWB positivity family on social media, online, and their encouragement for me to fully tell my story and for me to find my voice again. Which is why I wrote my book how to Breathe While Suffocating, which is the perfect title because I know that so many people go through their day to day life, whether it’s addiction, mental health, it doesn’t. Their job, their relationships with other loved ones or friends or even themselves, outside sources, politics, government, all of these things can really, really affect our day to day life. And we can end up feeling like we’re suffocating. Well, how do we breathe through that? How do we get that, that error back into our full body? And I just took my story fully naked, vulnerable, laid it all out there and started to do the legwork and the breath work and compiled that all into one, one book. And I’m in the middle of writing my second one, which is, is going to be a continuation of the story. The book ends when I became sober from crystal meth. And the second book picks up from then and goes over the last 11 years up until this moment right now. And it’s, it’s going to be kind of a memoir, but it’s more geared towards self help and the things that allowed me to breathe, be me and blossom and become, and the things that I learned along the way from therapy, counseling, rehabs, my own life Experience the things that I learned from my following or other people in my day to day life and how that helped me. Mentors.
[01:05:44 – 01:06:06]
How much is, how much has Tail been involved in, in your process of growth? Like, I don’t know if you, I don’t know if you want to talk about him or not. I just. I, it keeps on popping into my mind. Like, you touch on him, obviously he’s different than you. Was he a rock for you? Through many circumstances. And where would you be without him?
[01:06:06 – 01:06:10]
I, I don’t want to know where I would be without him.
[01:06:10 – 01:06:13]
I’m sorry if I’m getting too personal. I just.
[01:06:13 – 01:06:29]
No, totally. Okay. I really am an open book. I think that I, I, I think I would be, you know, I don’t know, I could be in a great place or I could be in an office. But he’s been.
[01:06:30 – 01:06:34]
Let’s not worry about him not being there. He’s been there with you, and he’s.
[01:06:34 – 01:06:36]
Been every step of the way.
[01:06:36 – 01:06:38]
He’s been that guiding star.
[01:06:38 – 01:06:55]
We’ve been together for 10 years. So he was very fortunate enough to not see meth Bruce, but he has very much seen alcoholic Bruce and the relapses and hospital stays and psych wards and.
[01:06:56 – 01:06:57]
That’s love, man.
[01:06:57 – 01:06:59]
It really is.
[01:06:59 – 01:07:02]
No, you don’t even have to say anything. It’s just. That’s love.
[01:07:02 – 01:07:17]
And it, It’s. It is love. And the amount of times that he’s thrown me over his shoulder to put me in a cab to take me to the hospital because I, I OD’d on Alcoh. Like, it, It’s. It is.
[01:07:17 – 01:07:18]
He’s.
[01:07:19 – 01:07:35]
There are no words to put into how much I respect and love and am grateful for him. What he has put up with, my. Excuse my language, but with my, My past that we have gone through together.
[01:07:37 – 01:07:37]
It’s.
[01:07:37 – 01:07:43]
It’s so beautiful. And I am so grateful for him. However, I do have to say that everyone has a limit.
[01:07:43 – 01:07:44]
Limit.
[01:07:44 – 01:07:51]
And I, I don’t want to find out what that limit is for him. It’s not worth it. I, I’m very happy.
[01:07:52 – 01:08:18]
Oh, my gosh. But you’re, You’re. You’re. You’re. You’re. You’re clean, you’re level, you’re exciting to talk to. Your energy is contagious. And he’s seeing that now. Any rifts or anything that you caused in 10 years with tail are being healed without even doing any work. Because the work moving forward is what’s healing the past. Right?
[01:08:18 – 01:08:18]
Yep.
[01:08:19 – 01:08:36]
I don’t Think you’re gonna have to worry about that. I believe you’re on the straight and narrow to continue to grow yourself and your relationship with Teo and your legions of followers and continue to grow great friendships like you and I are developing right now. And I. I don’t know you that well, brother, but I’m proud of you.
[01:08:37 – 01:09:19]
Thank you. You’re welcome. That means a lot. I am proud of you too. I do have to ask you a question. I feel like I’ve sucked up a lot of this episode, but I want to jump back. You asked me a very important question and a question that I’ve actually not gotten a lot over the interviews or podcasts. But I want to know for you, who was it in your life that inspired you to go down the road that you have gone down for your own well being, to show up and be able to help others? Who was it for you that really pushed you in that direction?
[01:09:19 – 01:12:05]
You know, if you had asked me this question five years ago, it would have been different. And now today that you ask me that question, it’s changed. I met and joined this organization called the Arte Syndicate, which arete means is basically a Greek word for excellence. And I was part of this organization for a few years. Ed Millette, Andy Frisella, very powerful motivational business people. And I met this guy in 2019 and he’s actually did their forward to my book. His name’s Tony Watley and I will give a shout out and tell you his name because he is totally changed my mindset. I was camped in my life. I was comfortable. I had gone through some terrible situations that I was drinking, I was doing weed, I was doing all this stuff and still putting up facade as being happy. I had a couple years prior in 2017, lost my granddaughter. She was four years old. I was just. I just didn’t care. I was just camped. And Tony came into my life. I see him speak in St. Louis at a conference. He stopped. He spoke about something called ABC action, Belief and consistency. He spoke for maybe seven, eight minutes on stage. And I had met him prior in the spring at the same conference in St. Louis. Him and his wife never really got chance. It’s hard when you have thousands of people. And I went up after him and I said that was amazing. I went down to where they were selling all the merch and they were closing down. I went over to him and stood patiently while he was talking to fan people that knew him and I didn’t really know him. And I said, you know, this is Amazing. I can’t believe I’ve never heard people talk about the. The ABCs. Like believe in yourself, take action to continue to increase your belief and have consistency along the way. And I said I’m gonna do all this stuff. I’m gonna create my brand. This is in 2019. I’ve got a successful business, but I need to elevate. I’m camped. I need to get out of this. I need to share all that I have inside before I die. I think I can help people with my challenges, my life journey. And right from him coaching me through masterminds. I met people, published my book, met somebody else, started my podcast. He gave me support along the way. He still gives me support along the way. And I would be amiss to not give that man a shadow. Somebody else that I would have given kudos to 30 years supported me through many different journeys. But we’re no longer friends because money is his master, if that makes sense. Right. Okay. It’s not the relationship. And that became. So it only took me 30 years to figure that out. But anyway, sometimes, you know, it takes.
[01:12:05 – 01:12:06]
The time it takes.
[01:12:06 – 01:12:59]
Yeah. Stupid as a stupid does. I just couldn’t. Right. It just. But yeah, great question. Tony was. Is just. I have nothing bad to think about him and I’ve met him many times. I’ve got. He holds little get togethers where we go to Mexico or we’ve been to Portugal in 2023 where we have 25, 30 people and we just. We spend one day in. In meetings and the rest is just hanging out, going to different organ, you know, events and eating food and visiting and laughing and networking and. Yeah, he’s been my most pivotal person in my life, I guess in my whole life. It would be my dad. He taught me so much about business and about treating people with kindness, but yet being firm. Didn’t realize till I was in my 30s how much he taught me. But you know, but I think Tony would be my number one as an outside family person. But thanks for asking.
[01:12:59 – 01:13:07]
Yeah, it’s so. That’s so beautiful. I love that you’ve been able to have that gift in your life and.
[01:13:07 – 01:13:15]
Oh, I. I just love seeing his posts. I love when he reaches out to me. I love when he teases me because it’s all done with love.
[01:13:15 – 01:13:19]
Yeah, we need that. We definitely need that.
[01:13:19 – 01:15:16]
Right? Absolutely. So I appreciate that question. We’ve got a few more minutes left here because I know you want to be done by quarter after the hour. Let’s talk a little bit more about Your book, I appreciate you bringing it. It came out in April. This past year, I wrote a book myself, you know, not on my second one yet. I’m thinking about the next one in my Give a Heck series because my book is Give a Heck how to Live Life on Purpose, not by Accident. And I have many more ideas along the way of what I can introduce in that Give A Hex series. But I haven’t started my number two. But I’m looking forward to it. But I do know one thing for myself. When I wrote my book, I found it very cathartic. It helped me realize things that I didn’t realize about myself. I think I mentioned that earlier. Kick in the pants, pat on the back, there was tears. There was like, what? As I’m reading stuff, I sent in some ideas and sometimes the editor would write it. She’d add a paragraph or lines within my chapters. And some of them I liked. Some I was like, no, this is the real genuine me. And it was hard enough to put this down on paper. Right? This is who I am, good, bad and ugly. I’m either going to build a tribe around my Give A Heck brand or I’m going to be alone. And I honestly believe the universe and God doesn’t want that. So I just keep on building that Give A Heck brand. But it started with my book and the cathartic. The cathartic nature of wanting to serve and help people before the music dies inside of me and people go, what do you mean music? Well, we all have a song to share, whether it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily singing it. We all have energy to transfer knowledge, to be that knowledge leader. And my book gave me that courage. What was your book like for you? Was it cathartic? Did it help you heal? Did it become. Help you become a better listener leader? Share with me whatever you like about your book and what it’s done for you, Bruce.
[01:15:16 – 01:15:32]
Yeah, absolutely. I can relate 100 to the path and the trajectory that you went through writing your book. Yeah, it definitely made me a chain smoker. No, I’m just kidding. It did not. It did not.
[01:15:32 – 01:15:33]
Was it?
[01:15:34 – 01:18:51]
No. So I, I really, I started this book 14 years ago, before I started to become sober from crystal meth. Obviously that distracted me and I put that dream up on a shelf and I walked away from it and I didn’t touch it for a long time. And like I said, before becoming sober and starting to be an advocate on social media and the response that I got, my followers, I thank you so much I love you guys. You really pushed me to actually make this happen. And it’s the power of social media. It can be damaging or it can be really, really good. It’s up to you to build your own algorithm and how you want to respond to that. And Wiley publishers, they found me on social media and they actually reached out to me and offered me this amazing life changing deal that it normally does not happen that way. And so I had been writing my book and down the line got this email from them and I was like, oh my God, Wow, this is, this actually might be able to happen. So I accepted and, you know, we went over the contract. Hey, when I and the lawyer, we went over the contract and checked off all the boxes and signed the contract and then I was up until 2, 3, 4 in the morning, oh my gosh, getting the story out. And it was, it was everything. It was hard, it was inspiring, it was uplifting, it was revealing, relieving. It was so many different things. Satisfying, satisfying and releasing. And to be able to get that all of everything that we have talked about on this podcast and so much more in great detail, to get that out on paper, out of me and to be able to release it from myself, to be able to help someone else. I didn’t know how well the book was going to do. I didn’t know who it was going to reach, how it was going to touch them. My entire goal was for someone to feel less alone in their own journey of wherever it is that they started, to who it is they want to be, to who they want to become and how they’re going to get there. I wanted them to know that they can, doesn’t matter any of those things. You can show up for yourself. You can be your own advocate, you can get your head straight and do the things that you want to do, take the action and do it. And I thought that this was never going to happen. I thought that this book was. I was like, nah, not possible, you know, and eventually stop saying that. Like I said before, you say you can’t, you won’t, you say you can, you’ll figure it out and you’ll find a way and you’ll do it. So I started to listen to the voices and the support and the encouragement and that little light inside of me. And I did it. And it has helped people and it’s helped me. And it was everything. And I’m very, I’m very proud. This is probably the second, maybe third hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my Life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I’m really excited for the next book because it.
[01:18:51 – 01:19:08]
You just got a sparkle in your eye when you said that. When I wouldn’t have it any other way. Your eyes glistened and sparkled. For those listening, just trust me. Yeah, that was an exper. That was a moment I enjoyed. I’ve enjoyed the whole podcast. But your whole energy eyes changed. It did.
[01:19:08 – 01:19:10]
Thank you. Yeah.
[01:19:10 – 01:19:10]
Welcome.
[01:19:11 – 01:19:37]
It’s. It’s. It really is a huge pivotal moment in my life and to finally. I don’t know if some of you can relate to this, but to finally say that you’re going to do something, start it, go through the process and finish it and to finish it. There are so many things in my life that I have done that and I, I don’t even know where.
[01:19:37 – 01:19:40]
Satisfaction of finishing.
[01:19:40 – 01:19:43]
Holy. I tell you, the weight off your.
[01:19:43 – 01:19:45]
Shoulders is just like.
[01:19:47 – 01:19:54]
And then that becomes an addiction, if you will. That feeling.
[01:19:54 – 01:19:56]
That’s a good addiction.
[01:19:56 – 01:20:00]
I tell you. Go get yourself some. It is some good shit.
[01:20:00 – 01:20:36]
Like associate with people that are going to always lift, uplift you. And the gift of uplifting goes back. It’s just natural to, to, you know, commiserate with people when they’re hurting. But it can also be natural to uplift, to just make each other better, to love each other’s company, to. To being at a point where I can’t wait to talk to Bruce again. This is just phenomenal. Like, you know what I mean? That is an addiction we all deserve to experience. Really.
[01:20:37 – 01:20:42]
Absolutely. It’s an easier way of living. It’s so exhausting living it the other way.
[01:20:43 – 01:20:45]
To please everybody. To.
[01:20:46 – 01:20:59]
Yeah. To please other people or to bring other people down or to live in a place of hate. I just, I, I did it for so long. I, I know both sides of it and.
[01:20:59 – 01:21:50]
But that’s the best person to know it. Somebody that’s left both sides of the coin can be the best mentor, the best person to defend. To sit on a mountaintop and shout out about us, to give us accolades, to just. That’s the best thing. You have to know the opposite of sadness to know happy. Like, you know, I don’t know sadness. Part of me. To be happy. You can’t be happy without sadness. You can’t be happy all the time. People. You just can’t. That’s unrealistic. Stick. You’re gonna have character building moments. Are you associated with people? Are you strong enough internally? Do you have tenacity to pull yourself out because you know, other people are going to be there, they’re gonna love you. Whether you have that ugly face on or that good looking face on or a combination of both, right?
[01:21:50 – 01:22:38]
Absolutely. It’s, it’s people, places and things. You know, if you surround, yeah, you surround yourself with the wrong people, you’re hanging out in the wrong places, you’re doing the wrong, wrong things. That’s where you’re going to stay until you make the choice and are willing to be ready to take action and doing the, the next right thing and building that character and, and working on yourself, removing those character defects and then start putting the right people, the right places, doing the right things. It is, it’s a beautiful life and so much good is coming your way if you just keep moving forward and doing the right, right thing. It takes time. It takes time. It takes practice and patience, but discipline and consistency.
[01:22:38 – 01:23:26]
To help with discipline, just tell yourself life is in session. This is not a dress rehearsal. Every time, every, every time you want to slow down, every time you want to pause. And that did come from connections in the personal development world. Over the last 30 years, I heard somebody say it. I can’t remember who to even give credit to. And I’ve been using that, that for 30 years. Used to tell it to my daughter all the time about practicing this and that. The one that was really into dance, another one was into gymnastics, another one was a cheerleader. I always tell them the same thing, right? You know, if life knocks you on your back, and this is from Les Brown, if you can look up, you can get up, land on your back, right? Les Brown says that still to this day. Right. For those that didn’t get it, again, if life knocks you on your back, if you could look up, you can get up. Up, right?
[01:23:26 – 01:23:27]
Y.
[01:23:27 – 01:24:25]
Life is in session. This is not a dress rehearsal. It’s very easy to remember and it’s easy to tell yourself when you want to quit. And it’s okay to quit temporarily. Sometimes we have overwhelming things that happen in our life and a moment in our life, but give it a finite time period, learn how to deal with stuff and then say, this is the end. I give myself this timeline. Time to move on. Life is in session. This is an address rehearsal. I don’t want to miss that conversation with Bruce. I don’t want to miss that conversation with this person. Person. I don’t want to miss that person that’s doesn’t understand how to live life intentionally today. I don’t want to miss helping them be purposeful because I allow people to miss me. And I stuck in that, that valley of despair way too many years with an addictive personality. Not with meth, but with other things. We’re all human. We all deserve a shot. And Bruce is here to give you that shot. I’m here to give you that shot. We believe in you. Right, Bruce?
[01:24:25 – 01:24:31]
Absolutely. 100. Without any question. Without any question.
[01:24:32 – 01:24:42]
Last question, because I’m already a couple minutes over the time. Bruce, if you had to give our listeners one last closing message, what would you tell them in regards to giving a heck and never giving up?
[01:24:43 – 01:26:00]
Wow. Oh, my goodness. So many things. My father’s advice, his three do’s, do your best, do no harm, and do for yourself every single day so that you too can eventually do for others. If you can’t do for others, it just means that you need to be doing for yourself. So keep going. In a world that is so, so divided and on fire, we can focus on that or we can listen. And that’s. I think that’s our greatest issue right now. It’s not big government, it’s not corporation. It is not the division. It is, is Both sides are screaming. And how can you listen to someone else when both sides are screaming? So give a little bit if you can. You don’t have to give your all, but give a little bit in listening to the other side and hopefully they can listen to the other side as well. That’s where we get that connection is that communication, that listening. And we both need to stop screaming. So love yourself, show up for yourself. Be your own advocate because you can and you’re worth it. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, not even yourself. And you’re doing a fantastic job. Thank you so much for having me. This was amazing. I don’t want it to end.
[01:26:01 – 01:26:22]
Neither do I. But I. I want to respect your time or. Because I have so many other things I would talk about. But we’ll get together another day. If you enjoyed it and your next book comes and when it comes out, or even prior to that, that even before that, yes, we could just have a conversation. Doesn’t even have a have to be a podcast. It can just be two new friends becoming old friends.
[01:26:22 – 01:26:23]
I would love that.
[01:26:23 – 01:26:48]
Yes, I would love that too. So what’s the best way for people to reach out to you? I’ll make sure it goes in the show notes for the new listeners. Go to giveaheck.com go to podcast. You’ll see Bruce’s smiley face. All the show notes will be there. All the links to social media’s website will be there, but I’m going to let him verbally tell what his best way is for you to reach him because some of you will not go to the website. And don’t write it down. Driving?
[01:26:48 – 01:27:47]
Yeah, please. If you’re driving, please just keep listening, focus on the road. Say you’ll go to the show. Notes, come back. Yeah, you’ll be able to come back and listen to this. Get to your destination safely. So give a heck. I love you guys. It was so much fun to be here with you and thank you so much again for allowing me into your life again. My name is Bruce W. Brackett. You can find me on my website at www.bwbrt.com. i am on all social media platforms at bwb.positivity hashtag negativity, be gone or cup of love. And for life coaching or motivational speaking engagements, again you can find me through my website, which is bwbr.com YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Blue Sky, Lemonade, Tik Tok. I’m on all of them so I look forward to seeing you there.
[01:27:47 – 01:27:57]
I’ll make sure that it goes into all the, all the show notes again. For those new to the show, just go to give a Heck.com your one stop shop to everything. Dwight.
[01:27:58 – 01:28:00]
I love it. I love it.
[01:28:01 – 01:28:04]
Anyway, any last words before I wrap up the show?
[01:28:04 – 01:28:26]
My friend, it is a pleasure to meet you. I adore you, I love you already and I can’t wait to have future conversations with you. You were so good at what you do and I again, I just, I thank you and to anyone listening, I love you too. You’re gonna be okay. It’s okay. And I’m so proud of you and just keep moving forward. It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for having me.
[01:28:27 – 01:29:23]
Thank you, thank you for that, those kind words and being on the show. I look forward to our next conversation as well. For those listening to the show, if you enjoyed this, please do me a favor. Share it with others, right? Share it with them. Let them, let them make the choice or decision of whether or not the Give a Hack podcast and my fabulous guests like Bruce can change their lives. You could be doing them a favor. You could be the light at the end of their tunnel and help them grow. So please share my podcast. Whether it be be sending them to YouTube or to any of the social media platforms, I really appreciate it. Helps get my message out there. Those silly algorithms like when people share or like or comment about the show. So do that as well. I appreciate that. So thanks so much for being on Give a Heck. Bruce. I appreciate your time and sharing some of your experiences so that others too can learn. It is never too late to Give a Heck.