🎙️ Jake Stahl on Owning the Room: The Silent Language of Presence
Guest: Jake Stahl
Host: Dwight Heck
Podcast: Give a Heck
🔥 Episode Overview
Have you ever wondered why some people command attention the moment they walk into a room while others seem to fade into the background? In this compelling episode of Give a Heck, Dwight reconnects with Jake Stahl, a communication strategist and fractional chief learning officer who has transformed his personal struggles into a powerful mission to help others own their presence and voice.
Jake’s journey is a testament to resilience and reinvention. From overcoming addiction to pioneering his STRATA communication framework, he reveals how presence, not performance, is the true key to influence. This episode is packed with actionable wisdom for anyone tired of feeling overlooked or struggling to make their voice heard.
💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- How personal adversity can become the foundation for helping others break through invisibility
- The critical difference between making good first impressions versus terrible ones at the speed of light
- Why 80% of communication is body language and how to read the signals others miss
- The power of reframes in transforming how people perceive challenges and opportunities
⏱️ Chapter Summaries
00:00:02 Introduction to Jake Stahl’s Return and Evolution
Jake Stahl returns to discuss his growth since episode 175, sharing how he has developed NeuroStrategy by combining behavioral psychology, social psychology, and neuro-linguistic programming into a unified communication approach that helps people make better first impressions consistently.
00:11:23 The Power of Vulnerability in Writing and Personal Growth
Jake opens up about the emotional process of writing his book, revealing his past struggle with opioid addiction and how this experience became the foundation for his communication methodology. He discusses the challenges and revelations that come with putting personal stories on paper.
00:22:06 Understanding Empathy and Human Connection
The conversation explores whether empathy can be taught and the conditions necessary for developing genuine empathetic responses. Jake and Dwight discuss how learned behaviors can suppress natural empathetic abilities and the importance of setting ego aside to truly connect with others.
00:34:36 Reading Body Language and Behavioral Moments
Jake explains how 80% of communication is body language and shares practical examples of recognizing when someone has mentally left a conversation. He demonstrates how to catch these moments and redirect attention through direct acknowledgment and engagement techniques.
00:42:08 The Science of Words: Nouns vs. Verbs in Communication
Jake reveals the powerful difference between using nouns versus verbs in communication, showing how word choices can create identity, belonging, and dramatically increase engagement.
00:53:00 The Art of Reframing: Changing Perspectives
Exploration of reframing as an underused communication technique, with practical examples showing how changing the frame of reference can dramatically alter decision-making and outcomes in conversations.
01:09:17 The STRATA Method: A Framework for Communication
Comprehensive breakdown of Jake’s STRATA method: Signal, Trigger, Reframe, Anchor, Transfer, Action. This provides a systematic approach to mastering presence and transforming communication effectiveness in any setting.
✨ Summary
In this inspiring episode, Dwight sits down with Jake Stahl, a communication strategist, author, and fractional chief learning officer who has turned personal adversity into a mission of transformation. Jake shares how his recovery journey led to the creation of NeuroStrategy and the STRATA method, empowering individuals to move from invisible to unforgettable.
Listeners will gain insight into the silent language of presence, the neuroscience of listening, and practical tools for reframing conversations to command respect and connection. Whether you are leading teams, building relationships, or simply wanting to show up more powerfully in your daily interactions, this episode offers strategies you can implement immediately.
This is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop fading into the background and start owning the room with confidence and clarity.
🔗 Connect with Jake Stahl
🌐 Website: Orchestraight
🎵 TikTok: @jakethemindmechanic
💼 LinkedIn: Jake Stahl
📸 Instagram: @jakethemindmechanic
🔗 Beacons: Jake the Mind Mechanic
🔗 Connect with Dwight Heck
🌐 Website: Give A Heck – Live Life On Purpose
📺 YouTube: @giveaheck
📱 Instagram: @give.a.heck
🧵 Threads: @give.a.heck
🐦 X / Twitter: @give_a_heck
💼 LinkedIn: Dwight Heck
🎧 Podcast Platforms: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser
Apple Podcast:
Spotify Podcast:
YouTube:
🎙️ Full Unedited Transcript – Give a Heck Podcast
Episode Title: Jake Stahl on Owning the Room: The Silent Language of Presence
Host: Dwight Heck
Guest: Jake Stahl
[00:00:00 – 00:02:19]
Welcome back to the Give a Heck podcast. I’m your host, Dwight Heck, here to help you live life on purpose, not by accident. Each week we dive into real stories, real truths, and powerful conversations that challenge you to give a heck about your life and the life of others. Today’s guest is someone whose voice and vision has already graced our podcast, making a lasting impact on his show and my show. Pardon me. Jake has first joined us in episode 175. Is a pioneer in conversational dynamics and a highly regarded fractional chief learning officer. He shared his adaptive conversational Blueprint, a framework that transforms sales professionals into relational architects capable of forging profound connections with prospects. His 2 in 10 rule challenged traditional views of conversation by emphasizing rhythm and cadence. With over 30 years of experience across six countries and more than 10,000 individuals trained, Jake brought a blend of practical wisdom and personal insight grounded in his role. As it about it, father, husband, and so much more, Jake returns with something deeply personal and transformative. Own the Room. How to Communicate, To Be Seen, Heard and Respected is his first book and it marks a major milestone in his mission to help others lead with clarity and connect with confidence. Whether you are leading a team, coaching clients, or trying to be heard in your own life, this book offers tools you can use. The moment this episode ends, Jake is the creator of NeuroStrategy, CEO, CEO of Orchestrate, and a gold winner for international training. Excellent. With seven patents in sales and performance technology, has trained leaders across 47 states and six countries. Jake, welcome back to Give a Heck. I’m excited to dive into your latest work and the evolution of your continuing mission.
[00:02:20 – 00:02:25]
Wow, Dwight, thank you for that introduction. I think I owe you like $100 for that.
[00:02:26 – 00:02:27]
For every word.
[00:02:27 – 00:02:30]
Oh, no, total. Total.
[00:02:30 – 00:02:55]
I was. I was getting excited for a second. It was like, wow, I love you, Jake. That’s what I was thinking. My heart was just going. Oh, Jake. Yeah, you know what? Just think about all the words that we’ve. We’ve said in just this prior conversation on the podcast. And now to what we’ll say today. We got paid a penny for every word. That would still be enough for a cup of coffee.
[00:02:56 – 00:03:00]
Yeah. So maybe we to a nickel for every word.
[00:03:00 – 00:03:02]
Okay. I like dimes better.
[00:03:03 – 00:03:05]
All right, I’m okay with that.
[00:03:07 – 00:04:36]
Anyway, I appreciate coming back on brother listeners viewers to the show again. Jake was on in episode 175. If you want to dial back to that episode, which I hope you do, to learn his origin, we’re not going to get into that Today, unless Jake wants to bring up some stuff just as a reminder, which is fine, we’re gonna dive into where he’s gone. Right? He. We know where he’s been. You can go back to that episode, but where has he gone? And where is he continuing to elevate and climb in his life and make a difference in people’s lives and actually give a heck about them? Right. There’s so many people that I’ve had on my show, for an example, Jake, that I never hear from again. And I reach out to them and say, you know, a lot of people that I like, I’ll tell them at the end of the show, hey, something changes, get ahold of me. And very few do. And I always wonder, was it the show? Did it not click for them? Or did they fall apart? Are they like. A lot of people? They’re like a puff of smoke and it’s just gone. They didn’t. They weren’t able to hang on. And I always wonder. So it was so refreshing to get your communication, your email, talking about the show and your experiences and wanting to know if I could have you back on. Well, I’ve got a list of people that are scheduled. And I made concessions, and I’m not saying that to pat myself in the back. I made a concession because those that are willing to be the squeaky wheel deserve the oil.
[00:04:37 – 00:04:43]
Well, thank you. I. I squeak a lot. And I gotta admit, I haven’t always gotten oil for it, but you know.
[00:04:43 – 00:04:56]
What I’m getting at, it’s just. It’s so refreshing when somebody’s confident in what they do and that I know from now you’re gonna be episode 270. You were on a 175, right.
[00:04:56 – 00:04:56]
Wow.
[00:04:56 – 00:06:14]
Talk about. So your evolution, you’ve evolved. And that excites me. Right? It does. It really does excite me that you continue to climb and evolve to do more good things in that period of time. Right. And it just, you know, a year and three quarters or whatever long time ago, you. That you were on the show, you literally haven’t given up then. You wanted to make sure that your messages is delivered in a way that can continue to evolve. You evolve your business for your clients and everything, and that’s. That’s commendable. And not enough people get told, thank you for continuing on in the journey, and you’re proof of that. And of course, I want to have somebody like you back on your original story. And life is very compelling to help people give a heck. And I imagine this next conversation is even going to be better. I’m excited to dive into it. So enough of me ranting and raving and I’ll get off my soapbox and we’ll get, we’ll get to some, you know, better conversation. Possibly. I think it will be perfect. But I just, I’m a smart alec, smart ass, whatever you want to call me. People that listen and watch know that. And I think I told you, may have told you that I, I always told my dad I’d never be a dumbass and he said thank you. So there you go.
[00:06:14 – 00:06:17]
So you turn to a smart ass, right?
[00:06:17 – 00:06:19]
Isn’t that, wouldn’t you rather have that?
[00:06:20 – 00:06:22]
Yes, much rather. Absolutely.
[00:06:23 – 00:06:31]
When most of our population is, is just dumbassery, I just think, yeah, I’ll be smart. I’ll be a smarty pants.
[00:06:31 – 00:06:36]
Oh, dumbassery. I haven’t heard that one yet. That’s, that’s got legs. I may use that.
[00:06:36 – 00:06:54]
Go right ahead. So Jake, just a simple question. Since you last, since your last appearance, how has your perspective on communication and leadership evolved? What, what has been some epiphanies or things that have happened to you since we last communicated?
[00:06:55 – 00:08:19]
You know, one of the funniest things I think is Dwight is I’ve worked with so many people over the years and since we last talked and we get in the habit of telling our kids, wow, you’re unique and you’re different and you’re special. And the reality is, Dwight, they’re really not. I mean they are in the way of who they are individually, but not in the way they process information. They respond to fear in the same way, they respond to joy in the same way. There’s a lot of similarities. We all have. So I started putting together all of this into a. What I call neurostrategy. It’s combining behavioral psychology, social psychology and neuro linguistic programming, which Tony Robbins has made famous worldwide. And I put them into a communication concept that basically says if we all communicate or feel pretty much the same way, are there similarities that we can use in communicating with other people to elicit similar responses? And it has led to some really cool stuff. And none of this is new, Dwight. None of this is new. I just took it and combined several things into one communication method that I’ve been coaching to corporations and individuals to make the words that they have have more impact in a shorter period of time.
[00:08:20 – 00:08:53]
Wow. So you’ve taken, you’ve taken what so many companies are utilizing on a social platform basis. They take an algorithm and try to hone it Down. You’ve taken a bunch of ideas, created your own human algorithm to help people get unstuck so they don’t think like the rest of the norm, and they’re able to become thought leaders, critical leaders, by challenging the fact that they’re stuck like everybody else. Right. Is that in a nutshell, kind of what you’re doing?
[00:08:54 – 00:09:42]
Yeah, and here’s the part that I love to say, but it may generate hate mail. So if we get hate mail, just feel free to forward it to me. The way we have all of our technology right now, Dwight, when it comes to marketing automation and AI and DMS and social media means that we are communicating poorly at the speed of light. We always say that it takes, you know, you’ll never get a second chance to make a first impression. Well, people nowadays, because of everything we have, can make a shitty first impression millions of times over in a very short period of time. My objective is to get them to make a better first impression millions of times over in a shorter period of time.
[00:09:42 – 00:11:42]
Well, how many people don’t realize that, you know, I. Who knows what the science is now behind it? I know when I first got into personal development, they say that they said part of me and I honestly believed it. When you make that first impression walking in a room, people have analyzed you. And before you sit down and start talking, they’ve already made a, a full time decision or a partial decision about who you are and what you are by your body language and how you’re dressed. And that’s impactful in the sense that already, if that’s their mindset has done that, even though maybe they haven’t done it consciously, it’s just the way they’ve been programmed. They’re stuck on a hamster wheel. Now when you open your mouth, it goes through that filter, that first impression. So you take that to social media and now people are reading, they’re not hearing you. They’re reading you more times than they’re hearing you. Even people with videos, people will, I know for a fact, watch with captions, they don’t even listen to it, so they don’t hear the tonality. And now all of a sudden they’re reading this based on what, their six inches? And if they’re, how, what’s their level of stuck? So they’re reading that, articulating possibly your response or, or possibly their brain is just, you know, whatever. They’re going to be a keyboard warrior. There’s so many things that cause challenges. So I appreciate the fact that you’re Taking these different systems and making it into a position of taking all that complexity. Not to say that yours can’t be complex. That’s not my intention of. My message is that you’re taking it, making it so that it’s palatable and it’s easier to digest, swallow, interpret, whatever. So. And again, nothing against Tony and all this stuff. I’ve been to some. I’ve been to one of his events, and it’s not for everybody, right?
[00:11:42 – 00:11:43]
No, it’s not. Yep.
[00:11:44 – 00:12:56]
So. So we need people like you that are willing to step outside of their comfort zone and say, hey, I like this. And that’s back to what my solo podcast was about this week, Crossing the Line and buffet thinking. You’re a buffet thinker, Jake. And. And for those that are new to the show, all that means is that Jake went to the. The buffet table. He liked some Tony Robbins, maybe he liked Stephen Covey. Stuff that he’s in. Ingested over the years from reading. It doesn’t have to always be face to face. Stuff that he’s learned. It could be from a book, an audiobook, a podcast, whatever. And he went, I really like the helping of that. Oh, yeah, Tony, I only like half a scoop of what you have, buddy. You’re just not worth a full scoop of my plate. Right. Buffet thinking. You’re willing to ingest different things. And you realize as. As you get farther along and dealing with clients and understanding their needs and your needs as well, that the next time at the buffet, you’re leaving Tony behind. Yeah, Tony served his purpose. He got. He didn’t mind the taste, but now that it’s just, you don’t need to satiate yourself with it. And that’s growth. So anyway, get off my soapbox again.
[00:12:58 – 00:13:00]
I like when you climb up there. You look good at that height.
[00:13:02 – 00:13:08]
Yeah, because it’s harder for the reflection off my bald head to blind anybody. I. I understand that. Thank you, Jake.
[00:13:08 – 00:13:11]
Yeah, well, mine’s on its way out too, so.
[00:13:11 – 00:13:20]
Oh, I think I’m a little bit farther than you. Quite a bit farther. But that’s okay. You’re. You’re a handsome devil. I’m a handsome devil. We’ll just leave it at that.
[00:13:21 – 00:13:21]
That sounds good.
[00:13:22 – 00:13:41]
So we’re gonna. Let’s. Let’s keep on with the origins and evolution of. Of things that have been, you know, conspiring for the world, not against the world, to make a difference. You’re so. Writing a book is a very revealing process, and people don’t give it enough weight.
[00:13:41 – 00:13:42]
Yeah.
[00:13:42 – 00:14:02]
And Part of that is due to ignorance. It’s not stupidity. They don’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I was going to go through emotionally. I didn’t know how it was going to feel, what it was going to do for my life. Was there something you now see more clearly that you once could not because of writing that book?
[00:14:04 – 00:15:17]
Yeah. You know, as part of the book, Dwight, I revealed a little bit about my background that a lot of my listeners know already. But the people who know me professionally don’t know. And reading the book, they’re going to get that little piece of information. I was addicted to opioids for about two and a half years and I went through a process where I lost everything. Lost my wife, my house, the whole nine yards. That was 13 years ago. I’ve been clean for 13 years. But writing about that a little bit in the preface because that was really the foundation for me writing this book and creating this communication method was going through that. Yeah, there were a lot of tear jerking and reflective moments doing it. And I, I started to do an audio book for it. And when I was reading the section that I wrote on that, it’s like I just kept getting choked up. So it’s nice to remind yourself where you started from and how far you’ve come in the process. So that was a big thing for me with the book was just kind of revisiting why I started this journey in the first place.
[00:15:19 – 00:16:46]
Which is, you know, and that’s exactly what I was looking to hear. It’s, it’s the self discovery process and the emotions that come around from it or impact, not even come around slowly. They can just be really impactful. I can remember editing my own book and getting so emotional because there was things in there that were very sensitive that was hard enough to write about, let alone read it back and try reading it out loud. It was, you know, it’s, it’s something people that are listening or watching. If you want to write a book, I encourage it. But one thing I will tell you, you have to have your emotional stuff in check. Doesn’t mean you can’t be an emotional person. That you can’t have your value to spare and your, and your days of highs or all of it in one day. Right. It can happen. You need to just realize that writing a book is something that if, if you’re vulnerable enough is going to open up and decompartmentalize stuff that you’ve shoved back in your brain that you thought you’ve Dealt with. And even if you have dealt with something, it doesn’t mean that it’s. That that wound won’t become fresh again. So. I loved writing my book. I have absolutely zero regrets. It’s created so many good conversations. It’s. It’s helped out, you know, maybe one or two people, hopefully, you know, that have reached out to me, that, that, that’s. That social proof.
[00:16:47 – 00:16:48]
Yeah, of course.
[00:16:48 – 00:18:00]
But I don’t care. I used to care, Jake. And the only reason I bring this up to you is I used to care. Are they going to comment? I’ve sold this many books. Why do I only got 30 reviews? You know, I used to care. Just like my podcast, I used to care. I love the reviews. Don’t get me wrong, people keep on doing them right. I really appreciate it. Back to that algorithm thing. The algorithm loves it when people, you know, put praise on Jake and myself for our books or podcasts. But at the end of the day, just, if you write the book, do it for the right reasons. Don’t be that person. I’ve known so many authors, even authors that have been on my show, Jake, that just didn’t really do it for the right intent, right reason. And some of those people, I don’t even know if they exist anymore. And, and they might still be alive. That’s not what I mean. But they don’t exist in the sphere of that I hear or see anything from them. Your intention always has to be pure is my point. So. And I know it would be for you, the sensitivity of you saying you’re doing the audio and reading and how it caught you, you know, and made you very emotional. You know what, that just says something. Says, you’re human, brother.
[00:18:01 – 00:18:02]
Oh, yeah, right.
[00:18:02 – 00:18:24]
You’re human and you’re willing to tap into your emotions. Vulnerability is a secret weapon to ensuring people get help and support because they always want to know that they’re. They’re heard, but they want to know that they’re heard by somebody that can empathize. And empathy is something that is so short and lacking in our society. Wouldn’t you agree?
[00:18:24 – 00:18:34]
Yeah, I. It’s funny to say, I was talking to a guy earlier today that he was saying the same thing. He said empathy just is in very, very short supply.
[00:18:35 – 00:18:36]
Do you believe empathy can be taught?
[00:18:39 – 00:19:29]
I think that goes down a couple of rabbit holes. I think there are certain people that can. That can be taught it, but I think you need to want to learn it, and you need to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy. And I also Think, Dwight, that there’s a certain chemical makeup that just isn’t well tuned to empathy. They say certain people just don’t have the empathetic response or don’t have the ability. But I think for the most part, you can learn empathy as long as you can set your ego at the door and you don’t mind listening and you don’t mind not being the center of attention. If you can get past those three things, I think you find your entire communication world just breaks wide open because people are going to want to talk to you more.
[00:19:30 – 00:21:38]
Yeah. You know, I love what you had to say there. That was just very impactful. You know, if I could, I’d rewind it, listen to it again, listeners. I would. You got to realize that we have a society that has so much learned behavior that that person may not have that ability, but most people do. It’s untapped. Learned behavior has squelched it, and it needs to be opened up. It needs to be flourished and watered to grow. I did not realize, Jake. I don’t know. I can’t remember everything I’ve told people in 2, 270 episodes. But I. I never realized how much of an empath I am until I had a lady. She’s been on twice. I actually want to have her on again in the next few months. She’s an empath coach. I met her at a conference I was speaking at. She was one of the attendees. And we. She come up and talk to me, went through an exercise, and I realized that I had always been an empathetic, kind person, but I didn’t always do it in the right way or the right place or the right time or. I didn’t understand the confusing emotions that came around with it, especially being a single dad of five kids, four being girls. Right. Just to remind you. And so it was so refreshing to understand and have somebody work on that with me. Be on my podcast twice. Because again, I’m the biggest student of my own show. I bring on people that are impactful, that are going to uplift me. Because if I’m uplifted, my tribe of people that like me in my show, they’re going to be uplifted. Are they always uplifted? That’s not realistic. But I’m always trying to be the best version of myself. I didn’t realize how. How much empathy. And this is five years ago when it really impacted me to realize how much empathy I was lacking because of learned behavior. But it was also. It was also hurt. Hurting me too. If that makes sense, Jake. That empathy was locked inside wanting to get out. Learned behavior was holding it back. If that makes sense.
[00:21:38 – 00:21:40]
It makes perfect sense.
[00:21:40 – 00:22:05]
You make, you talk about the why you have to be the willing, the why you want to change. And sometimes it can take a tragedy to cause that. For me, the biggest was, was me losing my granddaughter in 2017. That was the start of the catalyst. And I’ve been a life coach for how many years prior to that? Just because we coach on something doesn’t mean we can’t continue to evolve, that we shouldn’t be coached and grow. Right?
[00:22:05 – 00:22:09]
For sure. Hey, every coach needs a coach as far as I’m concerned.
[00:22:09 – 00:22:50]
And good friends like I love to. I remember our conversation. It’s coming back to me in floods and waves of emotion and memories in a good way obviously. And, and that’s a great thing that we can have these open conversations. I can feel your intention, I really can. I can see it obviously. But at the end of the day we need to support one another. We need to have that village of people that are like minded that even in six years from now, six months from now, you’d say, I just, I’m starting to do this. Can we talk about it? Oh sure brother, let’s go. Because guess what, you’re helping, you’re helping me elevate.
[00:22:50 – 00:22:52]
Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:52 – 00:22:58]
Gotta always make it about taking care of us so we can take care of others. Right. So I appreciate you being on, brother.
[00:22:58 – 00:23:00]
Thanks for having me.
[00:23:00 – 00:23:21]
Absolutely. So you talked about things that you discovered about yourself in that process and since we last talked, what did you learn about your audience or the people that you know, you communicate with or maybe the non verbal communication did as. Have you learned anything more about the people and community that you’ve been working on to support?
[00:23:22 – 00:24:38]
Yeah, I’ve learned a lot in that people are really kind of stuck. You know, we get stuck into these ruts of this is what everybody tells me to do and this is what I’ve heard to do. But it’s amazing. One thing I found is some of the things that I put out in the book are a little maybe on the edge, things that people may not have thought about before. And when I put it out, I was afraid it was not going to be accepted for what it was. That people were going to look at it and go, ah, that sounds hard or oh, that’s difficult. But what I found was that the people who read the book first, and some of them were kind enough to give advance praise, were very receptive almost Dwight Too much so. If that makes sense. So they came back with such good praise. I’m sitting there thinking, that can’t be right. They couldn’t have liked it that much. It’s my first book. How much could you like it? So it was, I think, a. I was surprised that people took a concept I gave and adopted it so quickly. But I also learned about me that I probably had doubts about my own ability, and it made it difficult to accept positive feedback.
[00:24:39 – 00:24:42]
How did you get past that? Imposter syndrome. Because that’s what that is.
[00:24:43 – 00:25:05]
Yeah. Of course. Sometimes you just take a deep breath and accept it for what it is. One thing that I like to do is just ask, why shouldn’t you get it? Why shouldn’t I get the good price? Maybe it is that good. But in the environment I was raised in as a kid, there was always something where the compliment always had some hidden meaning or.
[00:25:07 – 00:25:08]
Hook at the end.
[00:25:09 – 00:25:40]
Right? Exactly. Exactly. So as an adult, when you’re geared towards expecting that and you get something completely different, it definitely hits as a shock. So I don’t know if it’s imposter syndrome so much as that. I was so pleasantly surprised at the feedback that it almost makes you suspicious. It’s like, it couldn’t have been that good, some kind of feedback that shows how I can improve. But, yes, I was really thrilled at the advanced praise and. And how well things went.
[00:25:41 – 00:25:59]
I appreciate you explaining it. So, yeah, you’re right. It wouldn’t be imposter syndrome unless, you know, it was consistently happening in your life. We won’t get into the definition or explanation of it, but I like how you explain the fact that you just were. You were shocked by it.
[00:25:59 – 00:26:01]
Yeah. Probably was overwhelming.
[00:26:01 – 00:26:05]
So when you’re shocked by something like that, it’s because we haven’t had it happen enough, though.
[00:26:05 – 00:26:06]
Correct?
[00:26:06 – 00:26:07]
Right.
[00:26:07 – 00:26:12]
Or when it has happened to you, it had some sort of condition to it. Right.
[00:26:12 – 00:26:15]
That hook, that conditional hook.
[00:26:15 – 00:26:16]
Yeah.
[00:26:17 – 00:27:02]
And I’m glad. I’m glad to, like, people are listening. When you get a chance, jump on YouTube and watch this. Jake’s energy and smile through this whole time is. Why do I bring that up, Jake, is because we are visual creatures, and I want to make sure that people listening understand that there’s joy in your. In your explanations. Even when you were talking about that, reading that chapter, I could see that emotional change in your face and stuff, but yet there’s still joy behind that. And so we can have our own hooks that drag us back and we can have other people that, you know, compliment us. They’ll say, oh, you did this really good. But however. Right. They got that conditional hook.
[00:27:02 – 00:27:02]
Yeah.
[00:27:02 – 00:27:14]
And. And that’s what I meant by imposter syndrome. Because all of a sudden. Am I that. Like, you mentioned it too, though. Why they. Why would they buy my. This is my first book. Why would they say that stuff?
[00:27:14 – 00:27:14]
Yeah.
[00:27:15 – 00:27:26]
It’s because we have never. We’re a society that does not give. And I’m gonna preface this with a word. Genuine compliments and genuine appreciation for people.
[00:27:26 – 00:27:27]
For sure.
[00:27:27 – 00:28:24]
Tell them on it on the fly. I’ll tell you people that are listening or watching. If you do it, it becomes a habit. It becomes a muscle. But you also have to put a hook, a condition on that muscle that it’s always genuine. Never give compliments just because you get that dopamine hit. Because that person goes, oh, thanks. Yet your phony is beep, beep, beep. Right. Don’t be that person. Be genuine. Right. And Jake’s the prime example of what. And I’ve. And I can say that happened to me too, was like, what. Hours of my book going on sale, becoming a. You know, and then getting. Getting a message from the publisher. Oh, you’ve hit bestseller in these categories. And I’m going, what? This is my first. I had the same sort of. For me, that was imposter syndrome. Like, really. I thought I’d get, you know, it would be like a little. Like a little sparkler. Sparkler going off, a little bit of light.
[00:28:24 – 00:28:27]
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You wrote a book. Goody for you.
[00:28:27 – 00:28:28]
Yeah, yeah, goody for me.
[00:28:28 – 00:28:29]
Yeah.
[00:28:29 – 00:28:50]
And I had a hard time with it. I think the hardest thing for me and then we’ll get move on. Was having my own father post saying he was proud of me and doing this and. And realizing that that generation from the 40s, I’d never ever seen it in print, let alone, you know, I never ever heard it, let alone seen it in print.
[00:28:51 – 00:28:51]
Yeah. That’s.
[00:28:51 – 00:29:00]
That. That is when my imposter syndrome or my going that confusion of like, why did. Melted away.
[00:29:00 – 00:29:01]
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:29:01 – 00:29:12]
It really did. Really did. Because I always wanted. Even though I knew and I always have known he’s still alive to. That he appreciates me and that he’s proud of me. I always heard it from everybody else.
[00:29:14 – 00:29:14]
Yeah.
[00:29:14 – 00:29:15]
Do you know what I mean?
[00:29:15 – 00:29:17]
Yeah, I do, 100%.
[00:29:18 – 00:29:24]
So we have those congrats again. Like, I can’t wait for it to come out. I believe it comes out on the 27th.
[00:29:24 – 00:29:29]
Yeah. It’s actually I. I pushed it to December 3rd, so it’ll be out on.
[00:29:29 – 00:29:29]
Okay.
[00:29:30 – 00:29:30]
Yep.
[00:29:30 – 00:29:41]
Good. Thank you, listeners. And. And people watching. I’ll make sure, because I bumped some other things so that your podcast goes live next week. So that’ll be very kind of you.
[00:29:41 – 00:29:42]
Thank you.
[00:29:42 – 00:30:07]
That’ll be whatever the Tuesday is. I don’t know, dude. Like, I. I really am. I really can appreciate what you bring to the table for people and that you’re willing to put yourself out there to criticism, praise, because you can’t have one emotion without the other. Just like people saying, I want to be happy all the time. No, you don’t. If you don’t understand sadness, how are you going to understand happiness? Right.
[00:30:07 – 00:30:09]
There has to be both sides of the coin.
[00:30:10 – 00:31:27]
We need people like yourself. So, you know, I appreciate you reaching out, but I. I tell this. I don’t know, maybe back then I didn’t. But I tell people all the time. The guests that come to me from the different services or just outreach, like this second communication with us, I believe that’s divine intervention. I believe God’s we pray, God, bring me people to change me, blah, blah, blah. And then people come to us and we’re going, what? And then hours later, God bring somebody to say, oh, how many people do I have to send to you? You’re still. You drowned anyway. And that’s in reference to a story about that, right? No direct intervention. He brings us foot soldiers, compassionate foot soldiers that could make a difference in our daily lives. We just have to be attuned and get past that. That negativity that society has given us that’ll say, what’s. What’s in it for? Why does Jake want this? What’s in it for me? Yeah, right. What’s Jake. Oh, I don’t want Jake to benefit being on. Being on my show. I don’t want Jake to benefit by me buying his book. Right. I want him to stay stuck just like me. And there’s people probably listening to this, that this conversation is making him uncomfortable. I hope it is harsh. Right?
[00:31:27 – 00:31:28]
Yeah.
[00:31:28 – 00:32:04]
I’m not looking to have minions. I’m looking to have the willing. I’m willing. I want people that are going to spread the news. Right. I’m not no preacher. You’re not no preacher. We just want people to spread the news that there’s possibilities and that there’s, you know, everything’s achievable with some effort and good coaching, as we talked about. So we’re going to continue on or this will be like a six Hour conversation. I haven’t even gotten through half dozen of the points that I was really wanting to discuss to ensure that we, you know, get the best value of your time.
[00:32:04 – 00:32:05]
Yeah.
[00:32:05 – 00:32:42]
So was there specific things and discoveries, too? Like, and this is getting into more the nitty gritty of the development of the book or things that you maybe did. Was there certain things that you discovered that influenced the way you even structured your book or tools that you included? Was there, like, as you were going through that phase, did you go, oh, I should have put this in? Did I put that in? And. And what did those discoveries teach you? Like, where do they come about? Were they conversations in the development process with people or. Here, read this chapter? Or were you a person that read it out loud and your brain went, hey, right, can you share some of that, that process?
[00:32:43 – 00:35:35]
It’s probably a little bit of all of it. You know, the book is boiled down to an acronym, which is called strata. And I’m sure we’ll get into that later. So I won’t get into it now, but. So each of the bullets. When I wrote it, initially, when I wrote the first draft of it and then I read back through it, I was really dissatisfied because I’m like, I should have really covered this, and I really should have covered that. And then when I rewrote a chapter, I read through it and it’s like, boy, I should really cover this, too. And I should really cover that, too. And it took me, like, three rewrites of a chapter before I realized I should have a structure. I should say what it is and how to do it and what happens if you don’t do it and why it’s so important, and then give a story. So it took me a number of writings of a chapter before I decided, okay, you need to have stories to back it up. You need to tell them how to do it. You need to tell them why it’s important. But it was a while until I developed a structure that I could follow in each chapter. And then I got to the point where each chapter was so structured, it didn’t look any different than the chapter before. So there was a lot that went through it that by the time I got my first manuscript done, I realized that I loved the book, but if I reread it, I was going to make a dozen more changes. So I had to get an editor that said, jake, okay, you’re done. You got to stop. And he gave me bullet points and feedback, but I had to have an editor that basically said, you have to Stop here, you got to finish. And then even after that, I thought, I’m not doing anybody a service if I don’t give them worksheets and exercises to do to get better at this. So I did that. And even though I centered this book about business, I thought, wow, I should put in a personal example. And it just kept growing chapter by chapter. So finally, Dwight, I sent it to the publisher. I’m like, this is it, I’m done. I finished it, I’m good. Now we can edit it or you can give me feedback or whatever needs to be done. So I sent it in and I went on vacation with my wife to Sedona. Well, we’re sitting in Sedona and something happened that was so applicable to the book that I had to write about it. So I wrote this bonus chapter and I sent it to my editor. And the subject line of the email was, please don’t hate me, but here’s another chapter that I’d like to add into the book. So it felt like it was going to be a never ending story until I got it done. But it was phenomenal. I mean, I, the process was great. If somebody’s going to write a book, just know it’s a labor of love, you know, there’s very little reward in just writing.
[00:35:36 – 00:36:24]
There’s, there’s, I get people saying, oh, you must make a fortune and no, you don’t. An average, if you, if you go in and do the research, an average author that posts, posts a book, whether it’s self published using an agency or using an actual publishing house, they’re lucky if 5,000 books are sold. Yeah, right. I know people that have had books out that are just reaching 10,000 in sales. And I’m like, wow, that’s awesome. They’re going, oh, we thought it would sell more. 10,000 books. Even if you take 10%, maybe 1%, you’ve affected 100 people. Like, honestly, good for you. And I’m clapping them and they’re going, oh, I never thought about that.
[00:36:24 – 00:36:25]
Yeah, you’re looking.
[00:36:25 – 00:37:10]
Why are you doing this book? Are you doing it for the right intentions? And I, dealing with my editor, it was kind of cool. I had two. The first one was, you know, politely I said, you gotta fire that person from doing my book. I don’t like them. Right. And I got a different person and they were great. And they said, okay, you’re getting into your head again. Like you edited this chapter or here’s your. You give us this chapter changes you, you cut out, you gutted Half of the chapter. And you changed it again. What are you doing? And we need to dumb this down to grade eight. Why? Because majority of the people reading it, it’s not that they’re intellectually not smart. Their reading comprehension is lower depending on where they’re living and where they’re from. And I was like, oh, I never.
[00:37:10 – 00:37:10]
For sure.
[00:37:11 – 00:37:53]
Oh, yeah, like, these are all the things you’re sharing with me. And. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, it was. It was quite the process, right? It was. It is. It was cathartic. And I thought about adding more stuff. I even thought about issuing my book again and putting bonus chapters or say, you know, adding extra things and saying, you know, re. Whatever they put on books when they reissue and stuff. And now if I’m going to rewrite it, I’m going to. Pardon me. If I’m going to add stuff that’s going to be a continuation in another book, whether it’s half the pages or double the pages or whatever, I’m not going to mess with what, you know, was put out. Right. And I’m pointing over my shoulders for those people.
[00:37:53 – 00:37:54]
I see it.
[00:37:54 – 00:38:46]
My book. Well, that’s what my. That’s what my publisher cured me from the, from the U.S. right. He’s located in Pittsburgh. He sent, he sent that to me when showing that I’d become a best seller. And it was just. I put it there not to brag to anybody. It’s a constant reminder for. For me and anybody that knows me that you can give a heck. You could do something you dreamt about since you were a child. It wasn’t. I didn’t wake up one day and say, hey, I want to write a book. I’ve been thinking about it since I was a kid. I always thought I’d be a child author. And I still want to be writing kids books because I. Kids are my world, right? My adult kids, my grandkids. But, you know, I. I appreciate this raw, honest conversation, though, about. About the book process. You know, we’re going to continue to evolve this conversation, but thank you so far for what you’re sharing. I really appreciate it.
[00:38:47 – 00:39:16]
Yeah. I. One other thing I’d like to add before we move on is the. The details of the book are staggering. Getting a Library of congress number, getting ISBNs, getting the barcodes, designing the COVID designing the back cover, getting advanced praise, trying to find somebody to write the forward. And then you’re going through that whole process. Then you get on Amazon, you get to get a KDP login, then to get the book physically done. You have to get an IngramSpark login.
[00:39:16 – 00:39:18]
And, you know, every.
[00:39:18 – 00:39:25]
I know every time I think this process is done, my editor’s like, did you do this yet? Did you get that number yet? Did you do this? It’s like, oh, my God.
[00:39:25 – 00:39:25]
God.
[00:39:26 – 00:39:49]
So it’s. It’s funny because my bookshelves are loaded with books, and I know, you know, you read it and you don’t give a lot of thought to it. And then when you do your own book, you’re like, good God. Is this really what it takes? Every single book? It’s just, like I said, labor, love, lot of minutia. You gotta want it.
[00:39:49 – 00:39:51]
Oh, your heart has to be in the right place.
[00:39:52 – 00:39:52]
Yeah.
[00:39:53 – 00:40:35]
And I. I’ve had people on my show that are specifically people, like, more than one, including my own publisher I had on. And literally, when they talk about it, people do things to keep up with their neighbors, to keep up with the Joneses, dismiss the family. So if they’re in their circle of friends and everybody’s writing a book, all of a sudden, they got to write a book. And it’s not for the right reason. It is a labor of love. I love how you put that. It is so true. Having to worry about, like, at one point in time, I had. We. We narrowed it down to 38 different book covers. And then. And then overthinking it.
[00:40:35 – 00:40:35]
Yeah.
[00:40:35 – 00:41:12]
Because he’s getting. He’s got it. He’s got a graphic team that. Oh, my gosh, the stuff they sent me, Jake, was just like, oh, I like this. And then I started posting stuff or I started showing people in my circle that are local in my community and family and that. What do you think of this? Oh, I like this one. I like this one. I like this. Do you know what, the COVID that I finally picked, or the man’s walking up the stairs, right. Going into a keyhole, into the clouds that I picked. And then we. We massaged it. I said. And even them were saying, well, this one’s better. Or it looks like the page is ripped. And because you’re ripping, that’s your impression.
[00:41:12 – 00:41:13]
I know.
[00:41:13 – 00:41:52]
I am wanting people to elevate and climb. I talk about that all the time. What better than this cover? And even then, right to the fight. Are you sure that’s the one you want? Yep, that’s what I want. That’s what I’m sticking with. And I’ve had people tell me, even after the fact, you could have done it should have been a different cover. I Like the book. But you could. I’m not trying to please the masses. I need to like what I see over my shoulder. Right. I just like what I see. And then those that are part of my circle, they might have, oh, a neat cover or they might have a cop, you know, oh, maybe this book cover. And that’s fine. It depends how. Delivery is a big thing too, right?
[00:41:52 – 00:41:52]
Yeah.
[00:41:52 – 00:41:58]
If you don’t want to author people, pat them on the back. Because everything Jake said is a reality.
[00:41:58 – 00:41:58]
Yeah.
[00:41:58 – 00:42:03]
All those numbers, all the formatting, you have to be within a millimeter of this and that.
[00:42:03 – 00:42:03]
Yeah.
[00:42:03 – 00:42:04]
Oh, my God.
[00:42:04 – 00:42:07]
And the ebook has to be formatted different than the printed book. And.
[00:42:08 – 00:42:09]
Oh, yeah.
[00:42:09 – 00:42:14]
Then you have to decide the categories it goes into on Amazon and if.
[00:42:14 – 00:42:34]
You pick the wrong categories, you’re in a blue. You’re in oblivion. You can literally see you’re done. You’re. You’re absolutely done. All of a sudden you look down at the bottom of where your book is, and now you’re number 250,000 out of a million in that category. You just became a mosquito part. Like that, right?
[00:42:34 – 00:42:35]
Yeah.
[00:42:35 – 00:42:51]
And that’s not bad. But if you really want to have some success, even a minutiae of success, you need to understand the processes. So. And I know people have done all of it themselves without an. And they’re. And. And I don’t know how they do it.
[00:42:52 – 00:43:14]
Yeah, I don’t either. Yeah, it’s. It’s crazy. I. It was funny. I was on with my editor until late yesterday trying to get some, you know, trying to figure out keywords, short tail keywords, long tail keywords. Then how do you build those into the description? How do you pull the same keywords into the author bio? It’s like, man, it’s. It’s a science. It. There is just an absolute science.
[00:43:15 – 00:45:26]
SEO and keywords is something I’ve been working on for a while because I’m a wordsmith normally in life, but then you get into the digital world and even then there’s no perfect science you could even use. There’s AI generators. You can use keywords, you can use all these things and it’ll say, well, this is how many times this happens with this keyword and blah, blah, blah, the algorithm still control it. All right? All we’re doing, you and I, is trying to give us ourselves a better shot. For those listening by. By condition, putting condition words. And that might become part of a Google search. And Google will say, oh, out of the trillion different things that use this word, we’re going to randomly pick Jake’s or Dwight’s. Right. Why do we do that? Because we really care about what we’ve done to make sure more people are going to do it. So that’s what keywords SEO for those listening. It’s designed to make it so that the search engines themselves or even the internal searching with inside that social platform can better find Jake so that his, his voice can be heard. And that’s a good thing. But just realize, no matter what, and we’ll move on from this. Writing a book is a labor of love. It takes effort. Do it for the right reasons. Do it for the right reasons and it’ll be something that you’ll treasure till the day you take your last breath and those around you. And this isn’t. I won’t talk about this story today, but the stories that I’ve shared for the podcast that have me on as a guess, the, the impactful people that have reached out to me from high school all the way up to their 70s has blown my mind and how it’s changed their lives. And I don’t post about that stuff. Right. I have the odd time about certain things, but I’m not break Dosha’s that way because it’s not because they don’t believe. People need to realize that because most people are going to read that and say, oh, so this person liked it. Blah. What about all the other people? Again, it’s about their mental conditioning. So I just, I smile and I, and I thank them and I might share it to my group, but otherwise do it for the right reason.
[00:45:27 – 00:45:28]
Yep. Right.
[00:45:29 – 00:45:46]
So we, you know this you, from what I was looking at, you’ve said this book is for people who feel invisible or who struggle to command presence. What does this, what does this mean, truly to own the room and how does someone begin that process?
[00:45:48 – 00:49:23]
So, you know, owning the room is, is not about going in and being the loudest voice or being the most influential or being the smartest. And that’s one thing I wanted the book to really kind of break down. You know, I’m a former addict, so people judged me based on a certain image they had of me. And for a long time I really tried to change their mind. And I realized that there’s no changing the mind, there’s just changing the way you show up. So the whole book is based on how do you pre suede people before you even come into a room? What can you do to get them on your side before you even walk into a room? And Then once you walk into that room, how can you be hyper aware of the dynamics that take place? I’ll give you a great example. I had a representative that I was coaching one time and we were in a board meeting, and while he was talking, the CEO that was sitting in the room kept looking down and then he would look up and then at one point he’d start tapping his pencil. And I could tell the CEO was long gone. They were out of the room five minutes ago. And the rep kept talking. And when we looked at it later on as kind of a behavioral autopsy, I said, you didn’t lose the sale. You lost the moment. You lost the moment when they start tapping their pen and looking down. And Dwight, the easy part of owning a room is acknowledging, hey, you know what, Dwight, I saw a slight shift there. I saw you look down. What went through your head? You know, so it’s catching those moments and allowing them to be kind of the, the starting point for a further conversation. So owning the room isn’t being Mr. Gregarious and super charismatic. Some people I’ve seen own the room, say precious few words, but when they walk in, the entire room shifts. And part of it is following my strata process of how to own a room. And the people I’ve coached in doing this over the years have really noticed big transformations. But part of it is just noticing the signal. Did they look to the right, to the left? Did they look down? Did they start tapping a pencil? Did their body turn away from you? Just start to notice those signals right away and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can recapture attention. So if a person starts to turn away, I may use their name to get them back. Hey, Dwight, saw you shift a little bit. Looked like something might have hit wrong. Help me poke holes in what I’m talking about. All of a sudden, people are re engaged and they’re back with me. So this isn’t like this super hard thing to learn. It’s just starting to notice. The fact is, 80% of what we communicate is body language. 80%. So, you know, imagine me sending you a video, Dwight. And the video starts with, Dwight, I am going to tell you how to make a million dollars in the next 30 days. Pay attention. Here we go. Then my video is scrambled for 20 seconds and you can’t see or hear a word I say. Then I come back on and say, and Dwight, there you have it. You do that, that million dollars is yours. You’ve lost 80% of my message. And yet, as humans, we rarely pay attention to body language, which is broadcasting 80% of what they’re thinking.
[00:49:24 – 00:50:17]
Oh, I love it. You and I are so much attuned with one another. Now I understand why you put in some of the things you didn’t email to me, which. It doesn’t matter what it was, our connection. Because I am a student of human behavior. I watch people talk. I watch for that lean. I watch for the tenseness in their face. Crossed arms leaning one way, eyes rolling around like this as you’re talking. It can be in a group. And if as a. As a person that wants to be a thought leader, sharer, you need to be cognizant of that. So I love how you articulated all of that. It is so true. That behavioral moment that can shift to bring you people back if you’re a person. We’re all salespeople. We’re all sellers ourselves, right?
[00:50:17 – 00:50:18]
Yeah.
[00:50:18 – 00:51:12]
So if you’re selling yourself, why wouldn’t you want to be straight up with people? I’ll say to them, you know what? I just noticed a shift. Or I’ve even realized. Here’s Jake. What I do, too. Let’s say it’s something you and I talked about yesterday, and all of a sudden I had an aha moment and thought, oh, my go. And I’m looking at notes or whatever. Or maybe my brain just goes, hey, you never noticed this. Jake did this yesterday, and you never acknowledged it. Sometimes it’s inappropriate that moment to acknowledge. But, hey, Dwight, reach out to Jake. Hey, Jake, brother, I noticed this yesterday. Or if it’s a phone call, text, whatever, do you have a moment? We can chat about it. If I had anything to do with that, I want to start off by saying, give you a sincere apology. My intent was not to make you feel bad. If it was not me, and it was something that I did that you needed somebody to listen, I’m here for you.
[00:51:13 – 00:51:13]
Yeah.
[00:51:14 – 00:52:07]
And stop and you’ll see what happens. You’d be shocked. And sometimes when I’m face to face with people, as you mentioned, they’re swaying and you see that behavioral moment, and I say something to them. You see it. You see their body go, yeah. Wow. They actually do see and hear me. Yeah. You know how many people don’t have that? People listening, watching. They don’t have somebody that they really feel like they’re heard. They go home, they don’t think their spouse hears, hears them. They don’t think their boss, their kids. They just. And maybe that’s not the reality, but their reality is what the reality is. Right. And you are the person that gives them that opportunity to go and have that pressure, relief and go, you know, Jake, this is what I’m going to through. Thank you for noticing. Thank you for actually being more of a listener than a responder in your mindset. And you know what I mean by that, right?
[00:52:07 – 00:52:09]
I do, of course, yeah.
[00:52:09 – 00:53:00]
Thank you so much. That was just, that was great how you shared that. Again, like I said, we people would come. We know things happen for us, not to us. And our relationship is for us, both of us. Right. And I appreciate you 100%. So if, if you know one of the things that most books do, you talked about, you have, you know, obviously it’s not released yet. It’s going to be released soon. You have worksheets and different things that you’ve utilized to give them tools. Can you talk about some of these tools? And, and like pick one, pick a few. Obviously we can’t go through the whole book, but something that would be really impactful that people can, can, you know, have that excitement before they get the book of what they’re going to look at and what’s going to happen with them.
[00:53:00 – 00:54:56]
Yeah, there, there’s a couple of things and we’ll focus on one. We. One of the chapters in the book talks about reframes. And Dwight, I will tell you, after training close to 12,000 people all over the planet, reframes may be the most underused communication technique we have. And I’ll give you an example. Let’s say somebody goes to the doctor and the doctor says, I’m sorry sir or ma’, am, you have X disease and there is a 40% mortality rate. Right. That’s pretty depressing news. 40% chance of passing away from the disease that you have. But the reframe to that is so. Doctor, it sounds to me like what you’re saying is I have a 60% chance of survival. Exact same news, exact same outcome, but it’s a different frame of reference. Dwight, the book talks about how we really all have a frame that we live in and if we can get someone to reintroduce a different frame, it gives us the permission to expand the way we make a decision. And I’ll give you a real life example. My wife is literally the greatest human on the planet, bar none. She’s just amazing. And we just moved to a new house and I really wanted a garage. I’m like, gotta get a garage, gotta build a garage, find a contractor for a garage. I was really bent on a garage. And she finally Said to me, jake, what do you want the garage for? We don’t park our cars in the garage. And I said, babe, this is all about storage. I want to be able to put stuff in a place that I don’t have to worry about it. She says, volume one is storage. It sounds like what you’re looking for is a shed. And I’m like, a shed.
[00:54:58 – 00:54:59]
I love it.
[00:54:59 – 00:56:34]
So we got a custom shed built at a fraction of the price of a garage. And the shed is great. But she didn’t manipulate me. She didn’t tell me I was wrong. She didn’t say, a garage is a crappy idea. She reframed the way I was making a decision and merely said, it sounds like storage is what you want. Isn’t a shed then a good option? So if we did that in our personal lives, helped people see just a slightly different perspective. It’s amazing how things can open up for us and for your audience. We’ve all gone through that moment where somebody said, wow, now that you say it that way, I get it. Or since you put it that way, that makes sense. That was nothing but a reframe. So we spend a full chapter and quite a bit of exercises talking with people about how to do reframes. And then the biggest reframe, Dwight, is our internal reframes. So we say, you know, maybe I’ll say to myself, I. I’m too old to write a book. Well, the reframe of that is I’m at the exact right age to take all my previous experience and put it on paper. Right? Same sentiment, just a different frame. So my book talks a little bit about how to reframe what other people are thinking, plus how to reframe your own internal dialogue.
[00:56:35 – 00:59:39]
How does a person. And this pops into my head because I totally believe in reframing. It drives people crazy in my life, especially those that know me really well. It doesn’t anymore. Why do you. What? Because I’ll say to them, well, so you mean this, and it’s on a positive slant. Why are you like that, dad? Or some of my close friends or colleagues and clients, they’re used to it now because I rewired my brain. I had to go through that process where my filter wasn’t being like that doctor saying, you have 40% instead of that doctor who said, I have great news for you. 60% of people do this and that. So professionals address that. Our lives would be so much better. So you and I, as professionals, we have a responsibility to reprogram one person at a time to realize they can reframe their thought process. You can, like I’ve had experts on that. Within the first 45 seconds of a negative thought or somebody introducing it into your mind, are you reading or are you just thinking it because some external thing triggers it? You can change. You can reframe. Your first emotions aren’t anger. Your first emotions are far from it. Right. They’re usually sadness or, or, you know, confusion. Right? Those are all things that we have. And we can realize and go whole, wow. And your brain’s 35, 45 seconds into it and you reframe it and go, whoa, you know, why am I looking at as a negative? What’s the positive side of that? And does it always work? Absolutely. You can. It works 100% of the time when I reframe it. Does it take effort? Yes. Is it worth it? Oh, absolutely. Just like Jake’s saying, reframe what is coming into your brain. Right? Jake’s proven it can be done. He’s writing about it. I’m gonna give another push. Go get the book once it comes out. Because I think you, as a listener or reader, can you, you’re worth it. You’re worth the elevation in your life and you’re worth learning all those little signals and, and body languages and how to reframe. You’re worth it. I don’t care what your age is. If you knew today, Jake, that you had 10 years left in your life, right? I guarantee just getting to know you, you’re still going to want to elevate. Oh, 10 years. 10 years left to make more of an impact, to create more of my living legacy, to make it so my, my passing legacy is so much solid because you reframe the fact that it’s not a, it’s not a death sentence. It’s a life sentence in the sense. I know what my defined closing date is. If I know what my defined closing date on the project of Jake and or Dwight, I’m going to be impactful, man. I got 10 years and all of a sudden your little time wastes gone. You’re going to be. You know what I mean?
[00:59:39 – 00:59:40]
For sure.
[00:59:40 – 00:59:51]
Yeah, I think it’s great. I think it’s absolutely great that you’re doing this to teach people how to reframe and being courageous to put it on paper number.
[00:59:51 – 00:59:52]
Thank you.
[00:59:52 – 00:59:54]
One thing. You’re welcome, brother.
[00:59:54 – 00:59:54]
I appreciate that.
[00:59:54 – 01:00:02]
Right. I have a huge mad respect for people that are always on the climb. And that doesn’t mean that Jake doesn’t Have hills and valleys.
[01:00:02 – 01:00:03]
Oh, my God. Yes.
[01:00:04 – 01:00:44]
But the tools that Jake has and is teaching are lived experiences, right? They’re lived. He’s. He lives it. You want a coach. You want a person that has a book, supports you, that can be vulnerable with you and say, hey, the only difference between you and I is here is where I am at the journey, and here’s where you are. That distance between you and I is my growth period. Now I can share it more. Now I can, you know, understand and empathize and support and lift better than I ever could. Right. That is the best person that I love having on give a heck. Right?
[01:00:44 – 01:00:45]
Yeah.
[01:00:45 – 01:00:52]
And. And deserve to have a light shined on them. So thanks again for coming on, brother. I got some other questions here, obviously.
[01:00:52 – 01:00:53]
Please.
[01:00:53 – 01:01:41]
You talked about, you know, we talk about that hidden signal, right? That emotion, that behavioral moment, I believe you called it. You know, so we have those, and we see that in body language. And I, as. I believe in wordsmithing completely. Right. That one word can crush somebody or a little phrase, and you could say it differently, and the brain interprets it different due to our filters. What is, what are some of the hidden signals that you found, right. In another person’s words that, that we should be more aware of or. And what can we do to utilize, you know, what you’re. What you’re going to tell us to make it more effective so we can be that wordsmith, whether it’s technology, reading books, whatever it is. Just share. Share your thoughts, please.
[01:01:41 – 01:04:57]
Yeah. So one of the biggest things, and I didn’t cover this in the book, I’ve covered in some of the other writing I’ve done. But one of the biggest things I find fascinating, Dwight, is the difference between a noun and a verb and how dramatically different it can be. And let me give you an example. So somebody says to you, I’m a dog lover. And another person says, I love dogs, right? So now you have a verb and you have a noun. So I’m a dog lover, which is your noun. Or I love dogs, which is your verb. Most people will say, I’m a dog lover is more impactful. It’s more passionate for the dog. It implies you’ve loved dogs before you had a dog, you’re gonna love dogs. Well, after you have a dog, you just love dogs, right? But if somebody just says, I love dogs, it kind of feels temporary. You may not have before, you may not have in the future, but right now you kind of do. So think about that in terms of the way we Talk to people. So let’s say I say to my son, you don’t pick up your room. There’s the verb, right? You don’t pick up your room. That’s a lot different than saying you’re a slob, which is a noun, right? And they’ve proven this. So they did this in a. In a grade school, in a kindergarten class. And they said to all the kids, clean up your toys. Your teacher needs your help. There’s your verb. Clean up your toys. They tried another classroom, and they said, be the teacher’s helper and clean up the room. Now, you’ve given the kids an identity. You’ve made them a noun. You’ve given them the identity, a group they belong to. And these kids went home and were excited. Mom, dad, I’m. I’m a helper. I’m the teacher’s helper. They become a noun, part of a clan. So they did this with adults. They took a Midwest town that was having very poor voter turnout, and they used to say them all the time, do your civic duty. Come out and vote. So there’s your verb. And they changed that to do your civic duty, Be a voter. Increase turnout by 20% because people became part of a group. Now, if you think about this, lawyers use this really well, but they do it in the opposite direction. Instead of going from a verb to a noun, they go from a noun to a verb. So, your honor, my client’s not a criminal. They just did a few bad things, right? Noun, back to the verb. So the thing that staggered me about this, Dwight, is that just by paying attention, I don’t like to paint. I’m a painter, Right? Huge difference in those two meanings. But just by a simple shift, you change the exact meaning, outcome and maybe even feeling of the other person just by that simple conversion.
[01:04:58 – 01:05:07]
Now, that trigger. It’s just. It’s amazing how our brains, as complex as they are, they’re a giant. It’s a giant computer, right?
[01:05:07 – 01:05:07]
Yeah.
[01:05:07 – 01:05:40]
Doesn’t know the difference between a truth and a lie. But our societal growth and how we filter things and as you mentioned, you know, noun to verb, and how lawyers utilize it and how things can change, it’s so impactful. And the reason I wanted that to be part of the conversation is people don’t realize. And it goes back to the SEO keywords. It goes back to all of that. Words affect the way we interpret, the way we acknowledge, the way we feel, the way we engage. Like you said, 20% more engagement.
[01:05:40 – 01:05:40]
We.
[01:05:41 – 01:06:24]
Why words? It’s the same Thing it’s because our brain doesn’t understand and it has a preconceived notion of how things flow and how it should flow. And people get upset and say, well, when you’re using keywords and you’re doing that stuff and you’re manipulating using words, you’re manipulating. I said, yeah, but manipulation isn’t bad. Well, yes it is. How so? Manipulation can be utilized as a negative tool. Yeah, but manipulation happens every single day in your life. Oh, honey, can you do this for me? I love you, honey, can you do this for I love you so that they have that. What do you want now? But oh, they love me.
[01:06:25 – 01:06:25]
Yeah.
[01:06:25 – 01:07:04]
Our brain goes, what? You know what I mean? So we, we manipulate each other every single day. Positive manipulation to get an outcome that further somebody’s life is not bad whatsoever. Getting voters out when, when we get people that are elected into power by very small numbers which if everybody went and actually did their civic duty right. On a municipal for provincial slash state for you guys or on a federal level, we’d have way different outcomes because it’s the angry and it’s the spare disparagement or whatever you probably want to pronounce it. Those are the people that are going to vote.
[01:07:05 – 01:07:05]
Yeah.
[01:07:05 – 01:07:44]
The people that are complacent, they and should be voting are going to be the ones sitting in their armchair or whatever complaining when, when they don’t get the results they want. But they didn’t participate. There was no participation. There was no participation or in actual work on it. So doing what Jake’s talking about takes effort and, but man, you will see a change in your life even dealing with children like you, you know, dealing with kids, teachers. The difference between a poor teacher and mediocre teacher and an extraordinary teacher as I find. They do what you talked about, they restructure words to make them feel important.
[01:07:44 – 01:07:45]
Yeah.
[01:07:45 – 01:07:47]
Why wouldn’t you want to make a child feel important?
[01:07:48 – 01:08:21]
Well, and why wouldn’t you want to make anybody feel important? So Dwight, you say you wrote a book. If I turn around and I say, wow, you’re a writer. It’s like, well, yeah, I guess I am. You know, so it’s, it’s the same thing, but it’s got more potency when you think about whether you’re using a verb or a noun. And when you convert that verb to a noun, you give it importance and when you change that noun to a verb, you take away the importance. So just really cool. Try it in your personal life. It’s amazing what a difference It’ll make.
[01:08:22 – 01:09:17]
Yes. So I have so many other things, but I’m going to just leave the floor to you to discuss your book and whatever you feel is pertinent because I have multiple questions and it can dissect and pull out things. But I want to give you, you know, the soapbox. Get up and, and talk to the listeners, the viewers about what they are going to experience from start to finish. Right. What you believe, obviously, that’s your, what you’re presenting, but what your, your intent was and some of the steps along the way. Maybe there’s one thing, one chapter that was really impactful and still when you, you sat and thought, what is my best moment in this book? What is the best chapter? Share whatever you feel is relevant so that we can really dive in. And then I’ll ask questions, if you don’t mind, in between.
[01:09:17 – 01:13:36]
Yeah, yeah. So here’s the premise of the book. I’m 59, lived a long life, made some really poor decisions, made some great decisions. But one thing I’ve learned along the way is a lot of people feel that persuasion and being able to be heard and not be invisible is all about the verbs you use, the language that use, and we just talked about that a lot with the noun and verb. But the reality is it’s your presence that controls everything. Earlier in the podcast, why you talked about decisions being made before somebody opens their mouth, and psychologists call that thin slicing. So you’re, you’re slicing out different things that a person does, and you’re using them to form a judgment. And this happens all the time. And the key to not being invisible is by controlling your presence. And what my book does is it talks about how to control your presence, how to notice those signals, how to put off positive signals for yourself to understand what you trigger in someone else when you talk, because that’s a big piece of it. Because, remember, I may be talking to you from my viewpoint, but you’re interpreting me through your 50 plus years of being alive. Right? So two different angles entirely. And it talks about what we anchor on. And pricing is always a big thing. If we go to buy a car, we anchor on the price, you know, $30,000. Oh, my God, that’s so much. And by understanding how we trigger something and how our brain anchors on something specific is 90% of the way to not being invisible anymore, because you’re starting to control that in your environment. I’ll give you a great example. I was on the phone with, I was on a zoom call with a couple of Prospects. The other day, it was a male and female, and the female had a pair of glasses and earrings that matched. I had never seen that before. It’s almost like they made them in the same factory. So cool. So I said to the woman on there, I said, those eyeglasses are amazing. I love the way they match your earrings. And I was being very genuine, very sincere. Immediately, she started twirling her wedding ring, pulling it off, putting it back on, fidgeting, looking down at it. I triggered something. So my compliment made her either remind herself about her marriage, or maybe she was showing me she was married. But it was all very unconscious. Most people would ignore that. But if you can catch those moments and then redirect it, it’s amazing how you can start to guide a conversation and keep the other person safe and comfortable and trusted and well respected, and how much your communication will blossom because of that. So when I reframed it and took her in a different direction, the conversation went swimmingly and we did great, and we wound up doing business together. But communication is all about recognizing those moments. Words are a smidgen of the communication process. When you can master the rest of that, you can control any room you walk into. And when I say control, I don’t mean dominate it. I mean you can be aware of everyone and their feelings and their emotions, and you can guide, guide them, and you can help them understand yours. It all becomes a flow between people. And my book talks about how to do that one on one. It talks about how to do it in a room. It talks about how to do it when there’s absolute chaos everywhere. It talks about how to do it at home with your kids, as well as in an important meeting with your boss. And it’s all done in a simple framework called strata. It’s an acronym. And as you work your way through the levels of Strata, you will be astounded at how much more fluent you become, how much more memorable you become, and how you go from being unseen to unforgettable.
[01:13:37 – 01:16:03]
That’s, wow, so powerful to. To have this ability to get to the place where Jake is talking about. You can walk into the room and you could be wearing everybody wearing suits, and you’re wearing board shorts and. And a muscle shirt and a ball cap. Right? You’re going to attract the center of the room because of your unique visual differences. But wouldn’t you love to be that person that walks into the room, that it’s effectively touched people, and they’re in a group of five, six people in the Corner and one person’s experience the teachings of Jake or myself, and they go, oh my gosh, it’s Jake. Guys, girls, this is. Blah, blah, let’s, you know, we got to go talk to Jake. You commanded the room through affection of one person that you touched. Maybe it was just one little thing, but you commanded their respect. And they now want to be, I guess in some ways a disciple of Jake. And I’m not meaning that in a disrespectful way at all. Right. But they want to be somebody that is in your sphere. How many of you, listening or watching, want to be that person? And you say to yourself throughout your whole life, oh, I’d rather just hide in the corner. When reality. You’re thirsty for attention, thirsty for recognition and acknowledgment. I’m not saying you utilize Jake’s stuff to be, to. To create a cult or groupies. I’m saying utilize it so that you’re the person that walks in a room or are on a conversation with somebody where they literally as soon as they see your face pop up on video or you walk into the room, they smile. Instant reaction to their body and what you have set the table for. Their expectations of. You have expectations for me, I want to have people have expectations of me that I’m kind, compassionate, but I’m also blunt. That if they come and ask me a question, I’m not going to sugarcoat it, but I’m also going to know based on the room. I under. I read the room, as you mentioned. You look at the room and you. And you think to yourself, this isn’t the right time. I’m seeing that person’s like this, this person’s like that. Maybe they just had a big lunch. I got to think about all that stuff. And they had too many carbs and now they’re in the carb. They’re in the carb zone and they’re ready to have a nap. You gotta. That’s all part of being in the room, right?
[01:16:04 – 01:17:32]
Yeah. And the other piece of this, Dwight, is it’s not just a book to use in business. I do a chapter on relationships because having been divorced myself, I look at if I would have applied my strata to that. You can see where a marriage can go astray. Signals are missed, things you triggered or left go. You anchored on the fact that you no longer have fun together. You don’t no longer transfer emotion. So you look at those little things. And a lot of times, and I’m not making a broad sweeping statement, but A lot of times a divorce is nothing more than a ton of signals and triggers that have been missed and reframes that never happened. And, you know, I’m married right now to the greatest woman on the planet. But the reason that it’s that way is because we don’t do this anymore. We talk about signals. If something triggered us, we talk about what triggered us. So we always have that open conversation. But I dedicate a chapter in the book to relationships, because this communication method isn’t just for business. It’s for, you know, if you’re having a son or daughter that’s acting out or your relationships on the rocks. This. This methodology works equally well there as it does in a business environment.
[01:17:33 – 01:19:00]
Life relationships, that’s whether it’s individual or part of a group. It teaches you those life skills to interact on an individual basis, which now compounds to three, four people, to a large group, if you can. If you can command attention from one individual and work on your wordsmithing that behavioral connection and just being the best version of who you can be with one person, just imagine the impact, people that are listening, watching on a group of people. So I appreciate you ensuring people realize that this is for individuals. I personally automatically knew that. But some people listening might not and think that because I get people that’ll say, oh, this, your podcast is all about business. It’s far from it. Yes, I highlight people’s businesses, but it’s always about the people. It’s always about that human connection that I really want to bring out of people. So I’m sorry that you believe my. It’s all about business, or they say, oh, you’re in the finance world. It’s all about finance. Far from it. I’ve had. I bet you haven’t had a dozen people on that are about finance. Right? And even then, those finance people, it’s about the human connection, it’s about the relationships. It’s about wordsmithing. So I really appreciate that. Did you want to talk a little bit? We’ve got maybe about 15 minutes left.
[01:19:00 – 01:19:01]
Okay.
[01:19:01 – 01:19:07]
Did you want to talk more and break down the strata method you’d like to do? I’d appreciate that. Go ahead.
[01:19:07 – 01:24:07]
Yeah. So strata, the first letter in strata S stands for signal. So what signal am I putting off, and what signal am I picking up from someone else? So in other words, am I coming in angry? Am I coming in urgent? Am I coming in happy? And. And how are they. Are they coming in the same way? So the first thing is recognizing signals. The second is recognizing Triggers. So if I say something to somebody and they have an adverse reaction to it, understanding that typically that adverse reaction isn’t about me. It’s about the 10 other people that I remind them of. It’s about a dad or a mom that said something negative when they were growing up. So it’s understanding what has been triggered in the other person. And in the case of the woman I was talking about, I triggered something that guided her to her wedding ring. Triggers aren’t bad. They’re actually a revelation, and they’re giving me a place to start and form a bond. The third piece is the reframe. So once I’ve triggered something, how can I reframe it to make sure that it hits in a level that they’re going to understand? So I’m not changing the reality. I’m giving them permission to think about other options. So we have signal, trigger, reframe. The third one is anchor. We often think when we’re in a conversation that if we just say something really like philosophical, a real aha moment, it will just stick with people forever. But it doesn’t. We need a way to anchor that thought with those people. And usually anchoring is emotional. It needs reinforcement to stick. So we talk in the book about how to anchor the thought that you had with the other person so that they remember it. Once you anchor it, then you need to transfer it. So we often talk about, you know, Dwight, here’s why this is a good idea for you. But just by saying it’s a good idea doesn’t mean you’re going to think it’s a good idea. So my job is to figure out how to make it feel like your idea. So you defend it and adopt it. And the true longevity of an idea is not you and me in the moment. It’s how long do you carry that idea after we leave this moment? So do you talk about it? Do you adopt my terminology? Do you defend it? If somebody has a problem with it, that’s when you know you’ve transferred the information to someone else. And the last piece is asking for commitment. What action are you going to ask them to take as a result of your conversation? So I’ve recognized the signal. I’ve realized the trigger. I’ve reframed their ability to think about something. I’ve anchored them to the concept. I make the idea theirs, and then I ask them to take action. Now, for a listener, this may sound like, oh, my God, this is complicated. It’s a long thing. But as you read the book and as you go through the examples, you’re going to find out this happens in seconds, not minutes, not hours, seconds. And as soon as you start to be able to control that process, or at least become more acutely aware of it, your communication dynamics will change. For instance, people think they’re not seen because somebody doesn’t listen to them. Well, if I recognize their signals and triggers, that’s a strong listening action. Right. If a person feels unseen because people don’t listen to them, they’ll get taught how to anchor what they’re saying to other people and how they think about things. They’ll understand how to make their own ideas, somebody else’s ideas. So somebody else will say, oh, my God, Jake, the way you said that was amazing. I can’t wait to talk to somebody else about that. And then, last but not least, how do you get somebody to take action on what you just talked about? So Strata takes you through that process, builds your awareness of each step of the way. And the thing that I’ve heard from the Beta reader group that I had go through it, I had probably 50 people read it before I sent it for final manuscript. And the one thing I heard everybody say almost to a person is, now that I see these things, I can’t unsee it. Now I see it everywhere in every conversation that I have. So it’s that easy. It’s just being made aware and then working on how to control it.
[01:24:08 – 01:24:21]
That’s awesome. Fantastic. Like, great explanation. And really, how can you. How can you put something back in the can once it’s been opened? And why would you. Why would you want. Why would you want to.
[01:24:22 – 01:24:23]
You can’t ring the bell.
[01:24:24 – 01:25:48]
Yeah, you can’t ring the bell. And anybody listening watching this, you feel any uncomfortableness, that’s a good thing. That’s your body signaling that it wants change. If you’re uncomfortable now, if this whole conversation has done nothing to you, you’re stuck on the hamster wheel. And. And that’s your right and choice. But I seriously doubt anybody listening or watching feels that way, because that’s not what my show attracts. It attracts people that want to change. Maybe they listened to an episode a year ago and it triggered something, and then they squelched it back down. Or they had their societal pressures or their. Their group of five. Right. Because we hang out with associations that aren’t necessarily healthy. Maybe you’re back again. Maybe you’re that person that hasn’t been here and you want a little bit more of a poke. I’m poking you Right now, I’m poking the bear. I want you to look at your life and realize you’re more than you ever believed you could possibly be. That no success. And this is, you know, stuck record. You never are going to get successful living in your comfort zone. You must live outside it. And Jake’s book, though I haven’t been privy to it, would be something that is going to help you. Right. Reframing out of all of that. I love reframing. I’m not saying the rest isn’t powerful, but if you can reframe using words.
[01:25:48 – 01:25:50]
Nothing like a good reframe.
[01:25:50 – 01:26:49]
Oh, if you can reframe somebody and you can make them go, whoa. And then see their emotional behavior to the reframe and then communicate about that, you’re going to draw people in and you’re going to. And you’re going to repel those that aren’t meant to be part of your sphere, that are stuck. But don’t ever disparage those people. You never know. Maybe they’re a year ago that you poke. Now they come back, poke. Maybe that next poke is like, whoa, it’s time for me to get, you know, like my dad would say, pooper. Get off the pot. Right. Like, yeah, put quit hog in the bathroom when we had one of them growing. Right. Anyway, humor is always a good thing. I. I’m not trying to take away from the seriousness of it, but, you know, one of the things as we’re talking about this, you’re understanding presence, being able to articulate presence is so much.
[01:26:49 – 01:26:50]
More.
[01:26:52 – 01:27:08]
Workable, I believe, or needs to be dealt with. Because if it’s based on performance, you can tell people, you can give them quotas, you can say, you’re not going to get a bonus, you’re not going to do that, you’re not going to do this. But if they can tie their presence into that, their performance increases.
[01:27:08 – 01:27:10]
Correct, Correct.
[01:27:11 – 01:27:13]
So presence always trumps performance.
[01:27:15 – 01:27:57]
I would say presence is the first thing and the most influential piece of who you are, because people see and react that they react to that more than anything you say or do. So your initial presence is everything. And strata talks about that. That’s the signal piece that speaks volumes. Because in reality, we don’t convince anybody of anything. They simply decide it was their idea. So how we get them from here’s my idea to letting them decide it’s their idea is really the key to solid communication. But presence decides whether they’re even going to listen to the first word you say or not.
[01:27:59 – 01:32:37]
And wow, people can you imagine if you can grasp both, you can take you’re a great performer right now and you get the odd compliment and. But yet you’re really not showcased. And your business has employee of the month or they have employee of the year. There’s trophies given out. Lots of corporations, lots of businesses do that. Why that person may not have even as good as metrics as you, but they have presence, they have the ability to be very articulate, they have the ability to change the motion, the energy level in a one on one conversation, in a group conversation, in a room conversation. Presence, in my experience to what Jake’s talking about and and has become one of his biggest missions is the key to lasting relationship success. And this isn’t boat, just business. I’m talking relationship success as Jake mentioned with your significant others and how my relationship was lack of presence, lack of relationship connection, reframing a society that said this is the expectations of your wife and having family pushing that on them when they didn’t grow up that way. Not being aware enough that that pressure wasn’t fair to our relationship and was one of many things that was a catalyst to making our marriage not function. Could you imagine you’re having issues with your relationship with your significant other, your business partner? Maybe it’s your manager at work in your career, maybe you’re a boss and you’re not getting the results out of your people. Their production is okay, but it could be better and you’re not sure why and you’re the type of person that yells at them or, or that harsh memo. This is your expectation. You’re not present. You’re not present. Your presence is affecting everything in your lives. Your, your little kids, if you have little children, because I have young audience too that listen to this or you haven’t had kids yet. This is literally going to be an instructional manual for you to connect, to understand, to be present. Don’t discount this. If you’ve listened to this whole podcast and not, you know, pay it forward to yourself, it’s not pay it forward after you read it, pay it forward to others, but pay forward to yourself that you’re worth spending that little amount of money. And you know, it’s going to be weird for me to bring this up, Jake, but people complain. Well, books cost. This box costs that. You better not be that person that’s going to Starbucks three, four times a week buying a seven dollar drink. What has that done for you? Gives you a sugar high, sugar low. Maybe it tasted good and you got a dopamine hit Jake’s book’s going to be an investment that’s going to be a hit on your emotional well being and growth for the rest of your life, in my honest opinion, and I can say that with all confidence because Jake is a different version of me and he’s a different version, I’m a different version of him. And together we’re going out and spreading the word to make a difference and to change people’s lives. So I don’t need to read the book to know what’s going to impact because Jake has a presence, has the ability to educate and train and communicate in a very concise way. Great storyteller. Can you imagine what’s in the book? Ask yourself that. I hope it sits in your mindset and you get the book once it’s released on December 3rd, I believe that was the new date. And. And I am going to be your biggest proponent. I will make sure I even share it on social, you know, tag me, whatever, I’ll reshare, whatever. We’ll make sure that, you know, the algorithms though, you know, are going to only show so many. All it needs to show is have one by the book and that changed their lives. Even if you or I never know exactly. The universe is going to bring people to your book, brother. I’m positive of it. And again, we’re going to wrap up the show here. There were some other things that I wanted to discuss. But you know what, people, we’re going to leave you wanting more. Go get the book. Right? Spend that effort. Spend that effort. Jake, last question, brother. If you could leave our listeners with one last message, something that it proves it’s always worth giving a heck and never giving up, what would that message be, Jake?
[01:32:38 – 01:32:45]
The message would be if you really want to make an impact on other people, listen more.
[01:32:48 – 01:32:48]
Wow.
[01:32:48 – 01:33:08]
When somebody gets to talk about themselves, it has been proven time and again. When people get to talk about themselves, they release the same neurotransmitters that get released when you eat a chocolate brownie. Same feelings, same chemicals all going out. You want to make somebody feel good and make them want to talk to you and want to listen to you. Listen first.
[01:33:11 – 01:33:16]
Yeah, it’s. You ever had that question asked you what would you tell your younger self?
[01:33:17 – 01:33:19]
Yeah. Yeah.
[01:33:21 – 01:35:10]
And people, and I’ve had people have been on their shows or I’ve been asked at different events that I’ve been at and all people will say, well, what do you mean? You tell your younger self to listen more and talk less because our society has been Taught that our thought process, our, in our integrated response into what that person’s saying is more important than what they’re saying. So our brain is going, hurry up and shut up so I can share my truth, my epiphany, right, why my idea is better than what you’re saying. And then you, you’ve already disrespected that person by not listening. And it is a learned skill. I’d say one of the best things that’s helped me, Jake, I don’t know if it’s helped you with yours, with your show. At the end of the day, listening has gotten better for me. 270 episodes later, I’ve become better at articulating my thought process down on paper to ask better questions, to have a better flow. But it’s taught me to be a better listener because I’m so afraid of missing something that can be impactful for me. And if it’s impactful for me, I’m going to ask a great follow up question or you know what I mean? Or the energy I’m exhuming for those listening or watching is different. Different listening is. Listening is so underutilized because a society says that you need to be in reaction mode. Stick in that reaction mode, listen to Jake, but really don’t listen to him. React in your brain to the moment he stops so you can interject. And I’m not perfect at it. Oh, but I work.
[01:35:10 – 01:35:14]
I’m not either. I advocate for it all the time, but I’m far from perfect.
[01:35:14 – 01:36:57]
But the sweet thing about that is, Jake, is you’re always on the climb, brother. You’re always evolving by admitting that you’re, you’re not perfect at it. And, and that tells me, as your friend, which I believe we are, you know that at the end of the day, you’re, you’re always going to be refreshing conversation. You’re always going to be elevating yourself to elevate others. And one of those key things is you’re always going to work on being that good listener to listen to what people are saying. You can still, in your mindset, people have in your back of your mind going, okay, when Jake’s done talking, this is where I see the flow going. Or this is, oh, he brought up a good thing. So how I’ve done it, you can’t always do this if you’re standing face to face, you just meet somebody. But when I’m sitting here, those have asked, people have asked me, and I forgot to remind you, I jot down notes right as we’re talking. It might be just one word so that I can go back to listening to Jake, but that was important. So then when you’re done, I’ll have. It’s a quick look. Oh, okay. Right. So you can’t always do that, but if you’re. If you’re somebody that is, you know, you don’t want to lose that aha moment. Just write down a bullet point. Sorry about that. Just reminding me of an appointment for those listening or watching. That’s life, right? I have to live by a schedule just like everybody else. Anyway, Jake, it’s. It’s been a true privilege to have you on again. What’s the best way people can reach out to you? And then I’m going to wrap up the show.
[01:36:57 – 01:37:24]
Sure. They can find me on LinkedIn. I’m Jake Stahl on LinkedIn. There’s a lot of Jake Stalls on there. So I’m the CEO of Orchestrate. That’s the best way to find me. You can get my book, which is coming out soon, which is Own the Room, how to Communicate, to be Seen, heard and respected. And if you’re so inclined on social media, you can follow me on Tik tok, Instagram or YouTube. I am Jake, the mind mechanic on those.
[01:37:26 – 01:38:41]
Right on. That’s. I will put ensure that this stuff is within the show. Notes for those new to the Give a Heck podcast. You’re welcome. Welcome. Go to giveaheck.com at the top. You may not have been on my site. You probably haven’t been on my site in a long time. I totally had it redone last year. It’s not even anywhere near the same. I wanted to attract people and redeveloped it based on my brand and presence. So I’ll make sure that when people go on the giveaheck.com, go to the top, it says podcast. Just click on it. You will see a plethora of information. You’ll see Jake’s picture as well as lots of other podcast episodes. Episodes. But click on Jake’s picture, you’ll have detailed show notes, all the links to his social media. It’ll have chapter summaries, and it’ll have the full unedited transcript. And why do I do that? Because some people like to go in and read. You’d be shocked. And the chapter summaries will help you jump to a specific section of something that maybe while you’re driving right now, you just. You can’t remember. Oh, that was 20 minutes ago. That was 30 minutes ago. So I want to make it impactful that our time together sticks and make sure that you have the ability to find it and not going well. I don’t want to listen to that whole podcast again. Right. Maybe there’s just one good thing.
[01:38:42 – 01:38:42]
Right?
[01:38:42 – 01:38:45]
That’s okay. One thing’s better than zero.
[01:38:46 – 01:39:04]
Yeah, for sure. One other thing, Dwight. Just so people, I had a. I had a podcast for a while called Legion Reboot but it’s getting renamed and it gets relaunched next week. The podcast will be called Own the Room with Jake Stahl. So if they want to listen to that podcast, it will be out there.
[01:39:04 – 01:39:06]
Or if they want to be a guest.
[01:39:06 – 01:39:14]
Sure, if you want to be a guest. Dwight, I would love to have you on. I will send you a link and we’ll get you on asap. That would be awesome.
[01:39:15 – 01:39:27]
I actually had a section here to talk about lead gen reboot but then I was looking up some stuff and I noticed a lull and I thought maybe I won’t bring that up. So thank you for bringing. Right.
[01:39:27 – 01:39:37]
Yeah, Absolutely. No, they can finally gen reboot. Right now it’s on Apple podcast and Spotify, but it’s getting renamed to Own the room. So there’s going to be a name change that takes place.
[01:39:37 – 01:39:47]
When that launches, let me know. I’ll share it too. I don’t nobody’s competition to one another. We’re just a support network to top left one another. Right.
[01:39:47 – 01:39:52]
But I am sending you a link for you to schedule and you better schedule a time to be on my show.
[01:39:53 – 01:39:53]
I will, brother.
[01:39:54 – 01:39:54]
Okay, good.
[01:39:54 – 01:40:00]
Any. Any other last fine comments before I wrap up our beautiful conversation, brother?
[01:40:00 – 01:40:01]
Okay, you got it.
[01:40:01 – 01:41:46]
Thanks again, Jake. So you’re welcome. My final message, something that I introduced here recently. It’s called give a hex Spirit. Before we close, remember this. Your voice matters, Your presence is powerful and your ability to connect is a skill worth mastering. Whether you’re leading a team, building a business, or simply trying to be heard, give a heck. Give it with intention. Because when you show up with clarity and courage, you do not just lead, you transform. This has been the wonderful, amazing conversation with Jake Stahl. A master presence, a challenger of convention, and a trusted guide for anyone ready to communicate with clarity and lead with confidence. If this conversation moved you, share it with somebody who wants to be seen, heard and respected in their own life. Let them know it is never too late to shift how they show up and take ownership of their voice. If this episode resonated, subscribe to the podcast and hit subscribe on YouTube as well. Leave a reviewer rating in your favorite app. Like Comment Share this on social media this message needs to get out there. You could be the saving grace and the growth for that person that’s stuck. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there by sharing this episode. Every review and share also amplifies as mentioned voices like Jake’s and reminds others that their message is worth believing in. Until next time, keep giving a heck about your life. And remember, no matter what stage of life you’re at, it’s never too late to give a heck.