She Froze in Her Interview: Janylene Turcotte on the Subconscious

Janylène Turcotte on the subconscious mind and limiting beliefs, Give A Heck Podcast with Dwight Heck

🎧 Listen and Watch Give A Heck Podcast

Your subconscious mind is running your decisions, and most people have no idea. Janylène Turcotte spent 25 years as a senior HR executive before a frozen job interview cracked open the gap between knowing and doing, and changed everything she thought she understood about why capable people stay stuck.

🎤 Give A Heck Podcast

Real conversations and solo episodes about purpose, financial stewardship, mindset, leadership, and intentional living.

🔍 Episode Overview

Janylène Turcotte spent 25 years as a senior HR executive, the last eight as National Talent Director at Deloitte, reading rooms, coaching people through change, and knowing exactly what to say in almost any situation. Then her corporate career ended on someone else’s terms. Three days later, she sat down for a VP interview at a bank and froze. An HR executive who had coached hundreds of others through exactly this moment could not answer a single question.

That frozen moment, she says, was the moment she realised that knowing is not the same as doing, and that most people, including herself, had been running on autopilot, driven by unconscious beliefs rather than conscious choices. It was also the moment that led her to train as a clinical hypnotherapist in Rapid Transformational Therapy under Marisa Peer, become an ICF certified executive coach, and develop a method she calls Peel Back, Rewire, Rise.

In this episode, Janylène shares her origin story growing up in rural Quebec, her nine years of sobriety and what stopping drinking taught her about the gap between knowing and doing, the frozen interview that changed everything, the three-step Peel Back, Rewire, Rise method, and her contrarian take on the personal development industry, which she says runs almost entirely on the fuel of telling people they are not enough yet.

Dwight and Janylène also go deep on the two fears she believes prevent most people from transforming, the fear of being alone and the fear of judgement, and why she tells every client that judgement belongs to the one who judges.

📚 What You Will Learn in This Episode

  • Why knowing is not the same as doing, and what actually lives in the gap between them
  • What a frozen job interview can reveal about the unconscious beliefs running your life
  • How nine years of sobriety taught JT more about the mind than any coaching certification
  • What the Peel Back, Rewire, Rise method is and why the Peel Back step is the one most coaches skip
  • Why JT believes most personal development is built on the premise that you are not enough yet, and why that is wrong
  • The two fears that prevent most people from transforming: fear of being alone and fear of judgement
  • Why she lost more friends when she stopped fawning than when she stopped drinking
  • What it means that judgement belongs to the one who judges

📵 Chapter Summaries

0:00  Introduction

Dwight opens with a cold hook about a woman who always knew what to say, then freezes completely. He introduces Janylène Turcotte, her 25 years in HR, her time at Deloitte, and the moment that changed everything.

1:59  My Origin Story

Janylène traces her upbringing in a sheltered Francophone community in rural Quebec where she was the oldest of four, bullied in school, and convinced there was something wrong with her. She shares how wanting to fit in led her to drinking.

6:18  Nine Years Sober: The Night That Changed Everything

Janylène describes the night a text from her boyfriend, “wine is eating your brain,” made her see what she had been feeling but not naming. She woke up the next morning, called him, and never drank again.

11:58  The Frozen Interview

Three days after leaving her role at Deloitte, Janylène sat down for a VP interview and could not answer a single question. She shares what that moment felt like and what it revealed about the difference between knowing and doing.

22:00  Peel Back, Rewire, Rise: The Method

Janylène unpacks her three-step method and explains why the Peel Back step, accessing the subconscious stories driving behaviour, is the step most coaches skip and why skipping it makes the Rewire nearly impossible.

32:00  Book Writing

Janylène shares that her book is written but not yet published, and describes the moment of total clarity in a women’s business group when the whole book appeared in front of her at once.

38:00  Transformation and the Fear of Isolation

Dwight and Janylène discuss the loneliness that can accompany real transformation and the two fears she believes prevent most people from changing: the fear of being alone and the fear of judgement.

47:44  The Fix Yourself Model Is Wrong

Janylène shares her contrarian take on the personal development industry and why phrases like “your full potential” and “best version of yourself” mean nothing to the subconscious. She explains her alternative starting point.

1:15:10  Final Question and Closing

Dwight asks JT what she wants someone to hear who is exactly where she was in that frozen interview. She closes with two words: believe your body. Then build your team.

🎯 Key Takeaway

The gap between knowing and doing is not a character flaw. It is simply where the real work lives. Most people are running unconscious programmes they never chose and never named. The Peel Back step, going into the subconscious to find those stories, is what makes lasting change possible. You are already your full potential today. The question is not how to become better. It is what do you want to experience next.

💬 Continue the Conversation

🔑 Key Themes Discussed

  • The gap between knowing and doing and what lives inside it
  • Unconscious beliefs, autopilot living, and the subconscious mind
  • Sobriety and what recovery teaches about self-awareness
  • Identity loss and reinvention after a corporate career ends
  • Hypnotherapy, RTT, and the Peel Back, Rewire, Rise method
  • The personal development industry and the problem with the fix-yourself model
  • The fear of judgement and why judgement belongs to the one who judges
  • Transformation, tribe loss, and finding where you belong

👤 About Janylène Turcotte (JT)

Janylène Turcotte is a clinical hypnotherapist licensed in Rapid Transformational Therapy under Marisa Peer, an ICF certified executive coach, and the founder of HypnoCoach.ca. She spent 25 years as a senior HR executive, including eight years as National Talent Director at Deloitte, before a frozen job interview cracked open the gap between knowing and doing and launched her second career. She has completed over 1,500 sessions with entrepreneurs and senior leaders, has been nine years sober, and her method, Peel Back, Rewire, Rise, is designed to access the subconscious stories driving behaviour before attempting to rewire them. Her book is written and awaiting publication. Named one of Montreal’s Top 25 Coaches in 2025.

🌐 Connect with Janylène Turcotte (JT)

Connect with JT (click below to access)

🤝 Connect with Dwight Heck

🎧 Listen and Watch This Episode

💭 Final Thoughts

Janylène Turcotte does not build her work on the idea that people are broken. She builds it on the idea that people are running programmes they did not choose, and that once you can see the programme, you can change it. The gap between knowing and doing is not a flaw. It is simply where the real work lives.

📣 Call to Action

🎧 Enjoyed this episode?

✅ Subscribe to the Give A Heck Podcast on your favourite platform

🎤 Think you have a story worth sharing?

 

📝 Full Episode Transcript

Janylene Turcotte

[00:00:00] Dwight: What happens when the woman who built an entire career and always knowing what to say sits down for a job interview and the words simply do not come? Sometimes. The moment that undoes us is the very moment that finally shows us what we have been running from. Welcome back to the Give a Heck podcast.

[00:00:21] I’m your host, Dwight Heck, here to help you live life on purpose and not by accident. My guest today spent 25 years as a senior HR executive, the last eight at Deloitte, reading rooms coaching people through change and knowing exactly what to say in almost any situation. Then her corporate career ended on someone else’s terms, and shortly after she sat down for a job interview and froze completely the frozen moment, crack something open.

[00:00:53] She realised that knowing is not the same as doing, and that most of us are running on autopilot, driven by the unconscious rather than the conscious mind. We think it is in charge. She is now a clinical hypnotherapist trained in rapid transformational therapy under Marissa Pier, an ICF certified executive coach, and the founder of a method she calls Peel Back, rewire Rise.

[00:01:21] She has done over 1500 sessions with entrepreneurs and senior leaders, and she’s a nine plus years sober, which she says, taught her more about the gap between knowing and doing than anything else. Janine Turcott, welcome to the Give a Heck podcast. Thanks for coming on and agreeing to share some of your life journey.

[00:01:44] Janylene: Thank you, Dwight, for inviting me. I’m looking forward to this conversation, and by the way, you can call me jt, most English speaking person. Call me jt. As you will see, I’m French francophone. You’ll hear my accent, but so you can call me jt.

[00:02:01] Dwight: Thank you. I appreciate it.

[00:02:02] Um, to the listeners that have been around for a long time, or the viewers on YouTube, you know that I take the, the name very serious, so even before we hit record, I practise, I probably still didn’t say it the best, but I, I respect somebody’s given name, right?

[00:02:21] It is, it is what it is. So thank you so much, jt. I really appreciate it. I look forward to this supercharged conversation and I say supercharged because as my listeners know or viewers, I put a lot of effort into prepping for this show. And buckle up listeners, you’re gonna have, you’re in for a treat.

[00:02:42] There’s a such great information that jts gonna share with us. So jt, I always like to start at the beginning because our origins absolutely shape everything and people don’t take it serious enough. Yes, the rear view mirror is small for a reason, but our past can be indicative of how we respond, how we move forward, or how we get stuck.

[00:03:03] So I genuinely believe these trials and trip tribulations again, shape everything about us. Could you do me a favour? Take me back. Where did your story actually start? Tell us whatever you feel comfortable up to where you want to stop.

[00:03:18] Janylene: Okay. So I was born in a very sheltered environment, like in rural Quebec where, you know, amongst Francophone mainly.

[00:03:30] Um, I started to speak English in my teenage years, but, um, and I was talking about it with a friend earlier today, like, we were brought up thinking that the people are good people and that, you know, and that kind of, I would say Catholic kind of background, even though we were not practising or we’re not religious, but the values of forgiving people are good.

[00:03:56] Uh, giving the benefit of the doubt, et cetera, was really part of our, um, upbringing. And, um, and, uh, so the way to see the world, I think I started to realise that there were people that were mean, or, you know, really later in life, although I was bullied in school at the time, I didn’t think that they were bad.

[00:04:22] I thought that I was bad. So, you know, the world was still, they were right and I was wrong, and there was something wrong about me. That’s why I was getting bullied. Um, this led me eventually to drink, um, which, um, the reason was that I wanted to fit in. I wanted to, I wanted to be like everybody. And I felt that I was so different.

[00:04:47] And today in my, you know, in, in my understanding of the world, I know that this is one of the belief that you carry on. Like, I’m too different. I can’t connect. So I took kind of the alcohol as a way to connect and make friends and be funny and et cetera. So I would say my upbringing, like I was the, uh, the oldest of a family of four.

[00:05:10] Uh, my parents always encourage us to, to realise our dream. Our parents always told us that everything was possible, sometimes to a fault. Like I say to people, like, I crossed Canada hitchhiking when I was 18-year-old, right? And, uh, I would never let my granddaughter do that today. But at the time, you know, it was like, we’re going out west, right?

[00:05:34] We’re going to Banff, we’re going to Vancouver, we’re going to explore the country. And it was very normal, uh, or it was not so bad to do that at the time. So I was adventurous. And our parents, I think tomorrow morning I would tell my mother, I wanna become a hairdresser. She would say, fine, go for it. What are you gonna do?

[00:05:55] What’s the plan? I think she would encourage me. Our parents have always encouraged us to, um, realise whatever we wanted to do in life, which is, I think a great gift that I got from them, that I’m very, um, I’m very grateful for.

[00:06:10] Dwight: That’s, that’s amazing. Um, I was just jotting some notes down here. Um, Catholic upbringing, but not active.

[00:06:18] Well, for those listening who are watching, they know I’m Catholic. I was brought up Catholic. It wasn’t, it wasn’t, it was actually, we were active practising Catholics going to church and that Catholic guilt, I wrote that down. Mm-hmm. Catholic guilt that exists, whether or not, ’cause I know many people that I grew up with, they were Catholic label, but they weren’t necessarily practising Catholic.

[00:06:43] It doesn’t mean that they, they didn’t have that learned behaviour passed on to them from their parents’ generation. They may have decided they didn’t want be their parents and go to church or, or do all the different, uh, nuances with within the, the Christian Catholic faith. But they still had that learned behaviour.

[00:07:00] They still had, um, many things that slowed them down in some respects because they were confused or, you know, the reason I bring that up, you, you have a lot of things that I find I was bullied too, and I think it had a lot to do with the learned behaviour of being kind, you know, turn the other cheek, the list goes on.

[00:07:23] Uh, so I can really relate to that and wanting to fit in led to you drinking. I even had that a point in my time in my young life too, where Mm, you know, all these people, I knew they were drinkers and I wanted to fit in and I, I wanted to be one of the cool kids. I wanted to be in the in crowd. Right. So, next thing I know, uh, drinking and really I didn’t like it.

[00:07:46] Um, and fast forward, the reason I bring that up and wanting to see your, your take on that, look at today, everything that we read, everything we view see in the media, television shows, movies, slants to normalising drinking. Um, and it’s, and it’s following a pattern and it keeps on being taught that learned behaviour.

[00:08:11] So since that came up, I’m gonna jump to that part of what I was gonna talk further on about drinking. What, so you’ve been quit for nine years, correct?

[00:08:25] Janylene: Yes. It’s been nine years sober now. Yeah.

[00:08:27] Dwight: So what was the struggle? Like, how did it ha what happened within your circle? What happened to the, the associations around you?

[00:08:35] Was it, was it, was it difficult or you easily accepted because you stopped? Did you find you lost people or gained people in your life? Can you share some of that part of your journey of life?

[00:08:47] Janylene: Yeah, I think I was fortunate enough I was the one who was drinking the most in my group. So, so, so that’s the first thing, right?

[00:08:55] I was the one who was drinking the most and I was a solitary drinker as well. I was drinking. Um, in the last years of my drinking, I kind of isolate myself, which is mostly what happened when you start to go down the hill. I was very functional. I had a great career, but I was working at home. I think I’ve lost more friend when I stopped fawning than when I stopped drinking.

[00:09:19] And that’s when, mm-hmm. So when I stopped really being nice to everybody, I lost more friends than when I stopped drinking. Um, I think the culture where I came from, also in my family, there was a lot of people around me in my surrounding that had stopped drinking. So it was, um, something that I knew was possible.

[00:09:40] My parents have helped a lot of people who had alcohol problem or other kinds of problems. Um, so we had them at home sometimes where, you know, they would stay with us or they would come on Sundays for dinners and stuff like that. My parents would really help people who were, who had some, um, challenges with alcohol or other addictions.

[00:09:59] And so I, um. I one day, it’s really interesting how it happened. I drank my life away with my friend Robert. He was drinking as much as, and then in the morning, at night when he left, um, you know, when you start bad texting because your brain is kind of fuzzy and you’re angry about this thing that happened three months ago and you start to bad text your boyfriend.

[00:10:26] And so I bad texted my boyfriend and he wrote to me, um, wine is eating your brain and it’s no longer fun. And that was it, man. Wow. That was it. That was like, oh my God, somebody saw that my brain is slipping. Somebody see that I am losing it. ’cause I felt this is what I was feeling. I was feeling that my brain was slowly slipping, that I was not as sharp, that I had to.

[00:10:55] And I felt like I knew something was physically happening to me. And I said, oh, somebody saw it. I cannot let that happen. And I woke up in the morning and I said, I called him and I said, that’s it. I’m not gonna drink again. And I, I never, ever drank since. Um,

[00:11:12] Dwight: wow.

[00:11:13] Janylene: And, uh, and it’s been a long recovery after that.

[00:11:17] But, um, I think the most important thing for me was, yeah, I, I’m gonna, if I, I kind of saw my future and I’m gonna, and I saw myself in the street, like, basically if I continue drinking, I’m not gonna be able to work. I’m not gonna be able to sustain myself. I’m not going to be able to, you know, so that was it.

[00:11:40] Dwight: Wow. That is powerful, uh, to just have that realisation because of, and you might have heard, had you ever heard things from other people or was it just because he was your boyfriend or were you having second thoughts at the time and it was just a realisation?

[00:11:58] Janylene: Well, no, some people even were surprised when I stopped, like saying, really, you really have a problem?

[00:12:05] Right. Like, I, I was really concealing it very well.

[00:12:08] Dwight: Oh,

[00:12:08] Janylene: okay. Um, some other people, like my son, my stepson said, oh, we were thinking if we’d had children, if we would leave the children with you. And that really surprised me. Right.

[00:12:19] Dwight: Wow. Wow.

[00:12:20] Janylene: Yeah. He said we were starting to discuss that by the time he didn’t have children and he was living with me, partly with his girlfriend, and he said, you know, I, we were talking about it.

[00:12:32] So.

[00:12:33] Dwight: Wow. Thank you for sharing that. Um, listeners are viewers of the podcast. You know, I’ve had people on before that have gone through struggles and journeys, and the reason that I wanted to ask more about that is maybe this will be the time. That you’ll decide, right? Decide that it’s time for you. Maybe it, it, it’s just something that you needed to hear.

[00:12:57] So I appreciate you JT sharing. I know it can be a tough thing for people to share, but really at the end of the day, in order to serve others, we need to sometimes give that vulnerability that. This is our life. This is what we were. Right. Thank you so much for that. Is there anything else you’d like to share about that part of your life journey?

[00:13:19] Janylene: Well, maybe just say to your listener, like, if you do decide that this is it, your relationship with how alcohol has, has more negative impact than positive impact in your life, um, please see your doctor. ’cause we shouldn’t stop drinking without seeing a physician stopping alcohol. Like the way I did is not responsible, so.

[00:13:39] Dwight: Oh, okay. That is great point, great point. I never thought about that. Um, especially if you have somebody that’s saying that your brain’s disconnecting because of alcohol. That is, that is a great thing to add. So thank you very much. I wanna step back now. One of the things I found interesting before hypnotherapy, before coaching, you sold encyclopaedias door to door.

[00:14:01] Yes. I, I found, I found that amazing. And for those listeners that are younger encyclopaedias, you may not know what they are. Um, they were books. People went door to door. We had encyclopaedias in our house, and then we got the yearly, we had the whole set, and then we had the yearly one that we looked forward to getting the annual encyclopaedia.

[00:14:25] And it, it was today’s day and age, you can access so much information. And I just found that really interesting. You won awards doing it. Looking back, back on that, what were you actually learning about people about yourself in those years? Did, did you not understand so much later? Or did it, was it dawning on you already while you were in that process?

[00:14:48] Janylene: Well, I must go back because encyclopaedia started in my life and I was very little. So my father was a curious man. And, um, anytime I had a question for him, he’d say, go and look it up in the encyclopaedia and come and tell me because I don’t know. So I have to go look it up and come and tell him. And Ebony would say, oh, that’s very curious.

[00:15:08] I wonder if, and he would throw me another question and I would go back to the encyclopaedia, come I, I could spend like 10, 11, 12, 15 queries like that. This has been very instrumental in my life because he had created, helped me develop a fantastic memory. I have an amazing memory, but also helped me, uh, know how to search.

[00:15:30] So it’s like if I understand our search engine are kind of built, it’s like if I know how to search so I can be a good detective, I could, I thought about being a detective at one point in my life. ’cause I thought I was so good. Uh, well, you know, I’m quite good actually. And, um, so encyclopaedia have a special place in my heart and in my development.

[00:15:54] So when I crossed Canada hitchhiking, eventually I ended up working in Banff in a restaurant like many Quebec people going there learning English and um. And after a while we decided to go to Vancouver. And we were in Vancouver, a bunch of cas, and then we were looking in the, the ads in the paper at the time for jobs.

[00:16:16] Right. And we were called into this place to, and it was encyclopaedia selling. I said, I can do that, I can do that. ’cause I had already that relationship with encyclopaedia, like Right. I, I was already, uh, I was already a discipline. I was already, uh, sold on encyclopaedia. So it was so easy for me to go out there and knock on the door and tell them, that’s the best thing in the world.

[00:16:38] You need to have that in your house. You need that. Right. So I was very good. I want many awards. I think one summer and like, that’s more than 30 something. Years ago I was making $22,000 in my summer between university. Wow. ’cause I went back after for summers. Right. I was doing it in the summer as a summer job, and I was making good money.

[00:17:02] So, and I was travelling because I won all those trips, but I was already really convinced. But what I have learned, uh, from what you were asking me is, um, the power of passion, of being passionate about something. And it’s the same passion I have today when I have somebody that comes on a sales call or in a discovery call, in a strategy call, whatever you wanna call it with me, uh, to see if we are fit or not.

[00:17:29] If I’m gonna take them as a client, if they’re gonna take me as a, as a hypno coach, it’s the passion behind it. It’s the same passion. I believe in what I do. I see how good it is for people, what transformations it brings, what tangible things it brings in their life. The same way I was convinced about encyclopaedia at the time.

[00:17:49] It’s the same passion. So that to me, that’s really what I start learning. And an early age, that passion makes a difference. It’s a very important ingredient in the making.

[00:18:02] Dwight: Oh, absolutely. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. Um, passion I find is directly tied to whether or not we’re gonna have an active purpose that we can stick with, that we can have an intentful life.

[00:18:16] Um, I tell people that all the time. Like it’s, it’s, I wanna make a lot of money. I wanna do this in my life, and maybe it’s not money related. I wanna do this and this. And I’ll say, why? Like, what, what’s your driver behind that? What’s the origin behind you saying that to me? What, what have you done? Or what are you willing to do?

[00:18:34] Are you willing to get outside your pa your comfort zone? Are you willing to skin your knee? Are you willing to get back up, put a bandaid on and mm-hmm. Really discover who you are, your passion. Because if, if it’s a money related thing, I’ll say to them, you’ll, you’ll only do as well as your passion as the person that you’re selling to, your, your teaching, coaching, whatever.

[00:18:59] There has to be a passion. People have to know that you’re in for it. You’re not just that sales person. Because as a coach, really, we’re selling our, everybody sells themselves every single day. Even at your job, if you’re at a nine to five making a wage, you’re selling yourself. So are you passionate about it?

[00:19:14] You wanna make more money, you’re passionate about it, you get a raise, you get a promotion. In our industry, if we’re entrepreneurs, like JT and I, we literally, by having pa a true passion, people understand that we can break down barriers, we can break down walls, and you can make a comfortable living.

[00:19:35] Maybe you were really a go-getter and you make a lot of money, but at the end of the day, I totally agree. The power of passion is really so key in us connecting with others, right? And I find it lacking,

[00:19:49] Janylene: lacking so much. It allowed me not to, and it allowed me to not sell my service. So that’s very important for me.

[00:19:56] I’m, I’m a very good salesperson, but when I have in a discovery call, in a sales call, in a strategy call. I do not sell my services, and I do not wanna convince anybody that they need to do that with me. Like, and I refrain myself sometimes from some techniques that I would know or certain things, because the idea for me is I want the person to really want this to be really committed to this.

[00:20:22] Um, and we both just, you know, choose each other and then we journey together on whatever the person wants to accomplish. But that is the, that is sometimes I could be a lot more salesy than I am in reality when I do. But I don’t do it purposely because I think that bringing somebody in that’s been sold the idea, but has not really bought into that, the, the results will not be the same.

[00:20:50] And for me, I thrive on my clients having tangible great results. So

[00:20:57] Dwight: that’s, that’s amazing because so many people, like you said, there’s certain techniques or things that we can utilise that we learn over time that we could convince people against their will. And the reason I use that little term will is because I looked at the fact that throughout my 24 years of doing what I do and helping people live life on purpose and not by accident, the finance part of it is, is so small part of it.

[00:21:28] If I can’t get them to have acknowledgement of their monsters or life monsters, or the things that have, they’ve learned that are holding them back and develop a passion so that they are the willing, and I, I’ll ask people, it doesn’t sound like you’d be part of their willing right now to do the tough things, to look at your life under a microscope and realise that you’ve been living on a hamster wheel and you know, let’s continue to talk.

[00:21:57] Right? I’m gonna coach you on the, on the life side of your life before we ever talk about the money side, because, and I’ll tell them, I’m quite honest with them in 24 years, people that don’t develop a passion for their life, not just about what they do, but for themselves and, and where they’re going and how they’re gonna move forward.

[00:22:17] They’re not the willing, they’ll slip backwards, right? Mm-hmm. And you look at, I look at the people that I’ve had in my life that are. You know, they’ve gone to school. They, they’re, they’re education people that just constantly taking a new course. They’re constantly doing something online, constantly taking night courses, and they never get anywhere because they don’t stop and realise that, okay, you’ve got information now, are you willing to apply it without action?

[00:22:47] Really, where do we get our passion? Has to take us somewhere. So I really liked your response. Is there anything else you’d like to add before we go on to the next thing?

[00:22:57] Janylene: Well, maybe the rebuttal to what you said. ’cause I think sometimes it’s not a question of motivation, of willingness. It is a question about the story we tell ourselves subconsciously.

[00:23:08] And so sometimes the people will, you might conclude that they’re not ready or they’re not committed, or they’re not this, or they’re not that. But it’s not really what they are. It’s really the story that they’re telling themselves subconsciously. And if you go and find out what is the story that they’re telling themselves, and they are willing and open to look at that story and say, is it a true story or not?

[00:23:33] Today in 2026 in my life, do I wanna change that story? Um, I think sometimes it allows us to, instead of the concluding that somebody’s not ready or somebody is not doing the, the, the work or somebody’s, um, not there yet, um, sometimes it’s the story that they tell themselves that make them act in a way that, um, basically we think that they’re not there, but it’s just, no, we’re

[00:24:03] Dwight: on the, we’re on the same page.

[00:24:05] You’re just saying, saying it differently, but I appreciate your, you know, um, making that more palatable for people that, well, again, everybody hears things differently, so it’s great that you added on to that. So I appreciate that. So you spent 25 years building a reputation as someone who knew what to say, right?

[00:24:27] The last day at Deloitte as a senior HR executive. Then you sat down for a job interview after your own corporate career ended in, take me back to that room. What did that moment actually feel like? And the reason I ask this is, I, I’ve heard this from clients many times that they froze and they thought they were, they had all, everything together.

[00:24:48] Yeah. Right. So, can you please share that?

[00:24:50] Janylene: So if I go back a month before that day, um, I came back and I had a friend at home and I said, you know what? I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I wanna go on vacation and come back and not be tired of my vacation. I guess I was still drinking a lot at the time, right? And she said, okay, go to the ASAM in The Bahamas.

[00:25:11] You’re gonna do yoga and meditation all day, and you’re gonna come back rested and everything. So I said, okay. It’s the friend that I really appreciate. She’s a yoga instructor and everything. So I went to The Bahamas and came back. And when I came back, um, I was called in in that room and my boss had flew from Toronto, um, to, uh, meet with me with the greatest respect we had the conversation that there was a restructuring, I know there was a restructuring because I was in hr, so I was obviously, uh, you know, managing that, that, that transformation we were doing.

[00:25:44] So, so I just smiled, right? And I, and, and I said, thank you, right? Because I didn’t know why exactly I said thank you, but the future would show me why, you know, what I knew already that I didn’t know at the time that this was going to be the pivot to the greatest gift, to a greatest, um, way of achieving and, and also being myself and, and contributing to the world in a different way.

[00:26:10] So I left, um. And, uh, three days later, because you have, you’re so connected when you have those type of positions, right? So I got a job interview three, three days later for a VP role at a bank. And I remember she was asking me all those questions, and I’m an HR executive. I should know how to answer that.

[00:26:33] Nothing, that nothing was coming out that was intelligent. I was sabotaging myself. I was saying stupid things that you never say in interview, and sorry for using the word stupid, which are really, that’s okay, I would say. But in a sense, okay. I was, I don’t want to, but I was, it was the worst interview I could ever imagine.

[00:26:54] I would try to, to, I would try to, I would try to write it up. I, I wouldn’t be able to. So anyway, I went back home, it was raining, and I remember I was walking home and it became so clear to me like, it’s not a new executive job that you needed. You need to transform your life like this. This is not where you want to be anymore.

[00:27:17] It’s been great. It’s been good. It allowed you to, to do so many things you never thought you would do. And being a francophone in Toronto, as, you know, like in those corporate board boardroom or in those positions, like it’s an accomplishment in a certain way. It’s hard for people sometimes to imagine that, but working in another language all day is also very demanding.

[00:27:39] There’s all kinds of other sets of skills that you, you know, that, that, that demand those type of role when it’s not your mother tongue, when it’s not your, so at the end of the day, you know, I realise that I had to come to home, come home and, and realise that I don’t want to be in HR anymore. I hate HR now.

[00:28:08] I don’t, I don’t want, I don’t want to fly to Toronto every Monday morning at six o’clock. I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. So that is really how I came about to, that became clear to me.

[00:28:28] Dwight: So from the, what happened then after the fact? What was the journey like immediately, weeks after, in the following months.

[00:28:37] Janylene: So I was in that ashra kind of mood, so I was very. Played back. I decided that I, I would, you know, take it to transform myself, take it to eat well, exercise, but then my drinking really went up. That’s my last, that’s my, how do we call it? You know, those short at the Olympics when you have that short, uh, oh, short, short court.

[00:29:11] Yeah. That’s my, that was my, I can’t think

[00:29:12] Dwight: of it myself.

[00:29:13] Janylene: That was my hundred metres, whatever. But I was really the last, last, last. And I drank my life away. I started earlier and earlier and, you know, drank and drank and drank. Um, and, uh, until I had that conversation, right, I think that’s really what happened.

[00:29:37] It’s like, it was the, the elastic kind of broke loose, and it was like, okay, now I don’t have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to be in a boardroom. I don’t have to build that presentation. I don’t have to do this. My schedule literally emptied out in a second. I knew everywhere I would be for the next year, every day meetings, et cetera, flying, and then suddenly there’s nothing in my agenda.

[00:30:02] It’s totally free, empty. And I, I got scared really. I got really scared. What am I gonna do with my life? So I drank. That was the easiest thing to do. I don’t have to ask myself too many questions. I’m gonna drink. And I drank more and more. And it was kind of the last, last, um, yeah, a hundred metres. I would say.

[00:30:25] Dwight: The last stand, I guess, eh, yeah. Yeah. It’s,

[00:30:28] Janylene: yeah.

[00:30:28] Dwight: It, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that. Um, I think many of us, many professionals or even, you know, we don’t, you can be somebody that’s at a job and we go through a point where we reevaluate our circumstances. I used to be a computer consultant.

[00:30:46] I used to own a consulting company as a solo entrepreneur, and I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t satisfied. And I turned to. Addictions too, right? Yeah. And it’s, it’s something that was real because it was easier to mask self-medicating myself, right? And I had to have a, a, a come to Dwight, come to Jesus moment where I basically said to myself, is this serving me?

[00:31:17] Do I want to move on? Do I want to change? And, and I really do relate to what you’re saying. I got to that point where I just, okay, this is, this is enough. ’cause it was getting to a point where just like you’re saying, it would start earlier and earlier, or I’d be in the middle of being that professional and my mind was thinking about it.

[00:31:40] Janylene: Yeah, yeah.

[00:31:41] Dwight: Thinking about that addiction, right? Oh my

[00:31:43] Janylene: God.

[00:31:43] Dwight: And it, it, it can really be overpowering. And I wasn’t really present, not just for others. I wasn’t a hundred percent present between my six inches for myself. And I, I had to change. Right. And I did. Have I been perfect? Absolutely not. I went, I went through valleys of despair, lost people in my life or different circumstances and slipped back that way.

[00:32:12] Uh, it’s real for me. And it’s probably real for many people. So, congratulations. Yes. Congratulations. Nine years and having that realisation and staying quit is amazing. Right. If I was there, I’d give you a hug and pat you on the back. And I think that’s awesome. And it’s really good though that you talk about this because people need role models.

[00:32:37] People need mentors. Even if it’s not a direct mentor, they need somebody they can look at and go, wow, it’s all possible. I can do it too. I need to remind myself what JT Hass gone through and what she was able to accomplish to continue to stay unstuck. Right. So I really enjoyed that. I’m gonna go on to something else if, unless you’d like to add anything else before we move forward.

[00:33:07] Janylene: Maybe that, you know, for people who are just wondering about, am I drinking too much? Or you don’t need to be at the bottom, you don’t need to hit rock button to decide to stop. Um, the young generation, they don’t drink, right? They hardly drink and, uh, they enjoy themselves. So I, I, I mean, you can absolutely decide that you want a life where you are more present, and that’s the real word, is present, present to everything.

[00:33:40] Life doesn’t come become perfect because you become sober. You still have difficulties. You, you, you’re so much cleaner to, um, to take care of them and know what to do and be present. I mean, for me, I would not be doing, what am I doing? I would not be in this interview with you. I would not be here if I would’ve not stopped drinking for other people, they can stop way earlier and just have, uh, a life where they feel more present.

[00:34:13] So,

[00:34:15] Dwight: yeah, I love that. One of the things that I was thinking about too, and this has been a common theme, when I talk to people that have addictive personalities, and we can all have addictive personalities, people listening are watching. You can have addiction to television. You can have addiction to being sad.

[00:34:31] You can have addiction, to

[00:34:33] Janylene: absolutely

[00:34:33] Dwight: eating. You can have addiction to so many different things. I find though, people justify it when they finally come to a realisation or they’re kind of questioning it. I’ve heard from people in, in so many different conversations where we’re doing discovery to see where they’re, where they’re stuck in their life.

[00:34:53] They’ll, they’ll justify it and say, well. I stopped for a little bit and then I couldn’t sleep properly. I stopped drinking. I sm stopped smoking weed. I stopped doing both or whatever. I need that, or I can’t sleep properly. And they justify the addiction to a point where they can keep on that hamster wheel and keep it going.

[00:35:16] And my challenge to them is always, does it really, are you willing to try right to, to slow down too quick or like you would say, go to a medical perfection professional if it’s really terribly bad. And maybe even if it’s not bad, just to get a, a different opinion to be able to change. What would be your advice to somebody if they were using that as their crutch?

[00:35:44] Right. That’s the only way I can socially talk to people. That’s the only way I can sleep properly. I can’t, I can’t be me without it. What would you say?

[00:35:53] Janylene: Well, it’s not that they’re using this as a crouch from my perspective. Okay. And I’m actually writing a book on this, so that’s awesome. The idea is that that biologically they’ve been hijacked, their dopamine system, their reward system has been hijacked.

[00:36:12] And so it’s not a question of not sleeping or this and that, and it’s people that go back drinking or continue drinking at that stage, you’re not drinking to feel good. They drinking or using to just not feel bad, right? So, so at one point the substance and the, the dopamine system and the reward system gets so hacked, gets so distraught that it has nothing to do with willingness.

[00:36:50] Some people I would say I’m in, I’m in that category. Get hit by grace. And that’s, that’s all I can see. Grace, just path takes you by the, takes you, takes you, takes you by the collar and say, that’s it. I got you. And then I say to people, don’t mess with it. If you have been hit by the grace and you stop drinking very easily, do everything you want and you can to stay sober, take that seriously.

[00:37:20] Now many people go back and forth, back and forth and they feel very shameful about it. They don’t feel good about it. They think it’s their fault. And the more they think it’s their fault, the more they go back and use because it makes them feel not that it’s not their fault for a little, for a little time, right?

[00:37:38] That it’s the substance that disrupted their system and their reward system. So I really would encourage anyone to start to do research on the effect of alcohol and the like. Read books like a dopamine nation of Dr. Nal Lemke, uh, who really talks about addiction and what it does to your brain, what it does to your body.

[00:38:01] There is this psychological, the, the, um, the trauma, the whatever reason why you are drinking like me was for to connect. But eventually the substance take over and it, those reasons are like far behind. And there’s a biological and a system that is disrupt. And that’s why you really need to consult when you are, you wanna stop your, um, to use or, you know, whatever other addiction you wanna stop.

[00:38:34] Dwight: Thank you for sharing that.

[00:38:37] Janylene: Yeah. Like Dr. Anki, she was addicted to love novel.

[00:38:42] Dwight: Oh wow.

[00:38:42] Janylene: And it became, it became so disruptive for her that she would, you know, do it between the classes. She would neglect her work, neglect her family, neglect her thing. Dr. Um, Gabor Mate that you probably know, uh, was, um, you know, addicted to music and let a woman in labour to go and buy, uh, music, right?

[00:39:07] So, so it can be anything and everything, right, where the impacts are way greater than the benefits. But at the beginning, the addiction gave you some benefits, there were some benefit to it, but over time. It passes and then your system gets disrupted. So I say, you know, it’s easy to feel shameful. It’s easy to see people are, they don’t have motivation, they don’t have willingness.

[00:39:33] They’re, they’re, um, they’re just, you know, not disciplined enough. But at one point it has nothing to do with that. You really, your system’s got hijacked. So.

[00:39:44] Dwight: Wow. Thank you for clarifying and thank you for bringing up that book. I’m gonna have to, um, go on to, I listen to, I’m an audio book fan ’cause I do so much reading already.

[00:39:55] Um, I’ll have to look for that Dopamine Nation. I have not heard of that book, so thank you for sharing that. Listeners, people watching, there’s so much nuggets of information there that you need to understand. I really appreciate you clarifying that addictions are outside of just alcohol or drugs. It can be so many different things.

[00:40:15] I’ve had clients, I know people that are addicted to sex and it, it’s destroyed there. It destroyed there. That’s destroyed their lives.

[00:40:23] Janylene: Her book starts with that. Her book starts with an example of a man who’s addicted to a machine. Yeah.

[00:40:30] Dwight: Wow. I’ll have to check that out. Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate your, your clarity, um, and your knowledge.

[00:40:39] And obviously those listening are watching. Don’t take it for granted that there’s literally things out there that you can utilise to educate yourself and take JT seriously when she says, go seek out help. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t show that you’re weak. It shows that you want to move forward.

[00:41:03] Right. You have realisations and you want clarity on that, right? Maybe this is the start of that clarity for you and I, and I really hope that you are able to move forward, right? There’s no reason to be stuck the rest of your life. So living on autopilot, you have a phrase, the unconscious is the one driving.

[00:41:23] For someone who has never thought about it that way, what does it actually mean to live on autopilot? And how would you recognise it in, how would they recognise it? Part of me and their own life.

[00:41:33] Janylene: Hmm. Yeah. I’ll give you an example. I think true story, it’s easier.

[00:41:38] Dwight: Sure.

[00:41:38] Janylene: Um. So one day, I, I have an, um, I’m a bit of a learning freak.

[00:41:47] Like I binge onto certain topics and, and I, one point in my life I binged on, um, everything around narcissistic relationship and, uh, and also, uh, anything to do with gaslighting and everything. And there’s a doctor, it’s called, she’s called Dr. Ramini. She’s very present on YouTube and other platform, but she has a very good course on gaslighting.

[00:42:12] But it’s like 14 lessons, really deep. Where you gonna go enlarge and in like, in all the, the, the subtleties that you want on gaslighting. And I took that course and I realised when I took that course that I was fawning a fawning, um, which is, you know, to peace and please and appease. I was a nice girl. I don’t know why, but since I was little, every time somebody would say, oh, you’re so nice, or You’re so nice.

[00:42:41] That would irate me. Like, you had no idea that was triggering me. Like I hated people saying that to me. ’cause I didn’t think I was nice. But not only that, like I thought there was something, and then I realised later that my model was really to fawn and so to say yes, when I wanted to say no to peace and to a police.

[00:43:03] But I did not realise I was doing that. I was doing that on automatic pilot. I was doing that. I was not making the choice, will I be nice to this person because the situation requires and it’s okay, I wanna do that and that’s fine. Or do I wanna say no and have a boundary this time? Do I, I was not asking myself those questions.

[00:43:25] I was automatically, automatically nice, a nice girl. I would automatically not rebuttal, I would automatically, you know, avoid conflicts and stuff like that. So that’s automatic pilot. So sometimes on automatic pilot we can be a lot of things. Some people are fighting on automatic pilot. Everything that comes their way, their response is a fighting response.

[00:43:51] And other people, whatever comes their way, you know, they’re gonna, they’re gonna fly away, they’re gonna avoid, right? So, and they don’t even realise it. So I’d say the first thing is once you see which one is your automatic pilot of choice, which where in your life you’re not aware of how an automatic pilot you are.

[00:44:16] Then it’s to start introducing choices and start saying, okay, some people, they will say, okay, now I need to be totally the opposite. Like, I’ll give people who have no boundaries and say yes to everything, right? Then they start to say no to everything and it doesn’t. That doesn’t work, right? So that doesn’t work.

[00:44:37] It’s not serving you. When I say to people, you need now to educate yourself, and that’s what I do a little bit in the work that I do with people, but it’s to educate yourself to make choices. When do you want to say yes? When do you want to say no? Learning about yourself. Learning to get to know really yourself and choose make choices.

[00:45:00] But if you say no all the time, you go back to the same model. It’s just not the same response, right? So you go on automatic pilot of saying, no, that’s not what you want. You want to introduce the choices. So I think the antidote to automatic pilot is really deep diving into learning to make choices and conscious choices, uh, aligned with who we are, where we are going, considering the people around us and the environment where we are.

[00:45:29] So that’s really what I. What I, how I see that.

[00:45:35] Dwight: Yeah. I like that. That is so true. People, I, I’ve never heard of v I’m gonna have to research that more myself. Um, there’s a lot of commonalities in what we’ve been discussing through this conversation thus far that I can really relate to or it hits home, or I have people within my clientele or family that fit within that norm.

[00:46:01] So, again, as I mentioned before, I have, I have fantastic, interesting co like I’d say co lecturers on my podcast because I learned from it and I really appreciate what you’ve shared, um, gaslighting course. That is, that is interesting. I, I think so many people, we won’t get into that ’cause there’s so much else I want to discuss, but those that are listening or watching, if you don’t understand gaslighting or you think you understand it, really find out what gaslighting is.

[00:46:32] And are you a people pleaser? I’m a person that, as you mentioned, yes, yes, yes, yes. Then started creating, creating boundaries and I said, no, no, no, no. Initially too much. And then, and then I, and I could relate to what you were saying and then finding that happy medium.

[00:46:50] Janylene: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:51] Dwight: What did I actually want? And then all the outside noise from people going like, oh my gosh, you, you say Yes.

[00:46:58] What he said, no. You know what I mean? It was, it was, it was an interesting journey in my life. Sometimes it still happens, but I’ve gotten very good control of it. But it takes work, right? It’s realisation, awareness, and then action to, for me anyway, maybe other people have different processes or, or different ways to deal.

[00:47:23] Janylene: What about if you would switch the word control for the word choices and see how it feels for you? Right? Sure. Because, because we don’t have really control over much things, but we can make choices. And, and I feel that that’s might help you experience more agency. Um, maybe you just wanna try it and see if it works for you.

[00:47:44] Dwight: Yes, absolutely. I appreciate that. It’ll probably, by you bringing that up, there will be other people thinking the same thing. Oh, maybe I should do that. So, thank you so much. I I, I take it as very constructive, so I appreciate that. So your method is called, you have a method called Peel back, rewire Rise.

[00:48:04] Walk me through what these three stages actually look like with a real client. Well, without would obviously giving away any identity. I share stories mm-hmm. All the time about my clients and their real realisations and their actual real life in order to connect with people. Could you do that for us please?

[00:48:21] Janylene: Yes. So at one point I have a woman who has a business. She just sold her business and, um, she has to stay for a certain amount of time, you know, afterwards. I do that a lot. I work a lot with people who sell their business and, um, the, when she comes to me, she comes to me because she says. I first, the due diligence nowadays kills people.

[00:48:53] Like the due diligences are so thorough, so difficult, and lots of sales don’t go through and everything. So she was very tired, but she was thinking about, okay, now I’m gonna have all this money coming my way, but I don’t really know who I am. I, I, I took over that family business because this is what was expected of me, but I don’t really know who I am.

[00:49:17] I never really made choices for myself. So the peel back is all the stories we tell ourselves. Like I was telling you earlier, all the stories we tell ourselves, like, I need to, you know, I’m the banking machine for the family. I need to provide for everybody. If I don’t provide, people are gonna reject me and not gonna love me.

[00:49:38] In order to be love, I need to do this, and I need do that. So what Peel back is like, we just uncover all this conscious stories that people tell themself. And really, I say the subconscious one because every time people say, oh my God, yes, I see that. I’m telling myself that. Now I can see it. Now that it came to their conscious.

[00:50:01] They say, wow. Yeah, I was not conscious of it, but yeah, that’s really what I was telling myself. So that’s the first thing. Then it’s about, um, the rewire is really okay, those stories, I can continue my life. I’m telling myself the same story. I know what the outcome will be. I know because I know what the outcome of, you know, thinking that I need to provide for everybody is I know what the outcome of, um, not saying no, because I’m afraid I’m not gonna be love.

[00:50:33] I know, I know what the outcome of this is. Now I want different outcomes, so I need to change the story. So the Rewires really, we literally go into hypnosis and we rewire for what people want. So in that case, which was very interesting is, is we uncovered things that she loved to do. And she was a child that she totally forgotten about, that she never allowed herself to do, which was, um, drawing and writing.

[00:51:06] And she was a businesswoman, right? And, and, and that was not in the, in the image that, you know, people would have of her even, or children would have of her. So what happened is that. She eventually, um, for some reasons that I don’t want to talk here because that would be revealing too much about her, but she eventually, um, in the rise part, the rise is the once you are rewired is really how are you gonna impact the world now.

[00:51:38] So she started, are you gonna impact your, your life, the life of others, your community, et cetera. Um, and she started to write children’s book and, uh, they are amazing. So never ever she would’ve thought that she would’ve been from being that bus that businesswoman with, you know, that big thing really well.

[00:52:09] And people were asking her like, what are you gonna do now? What are you gonna do now? And she says, you know, I’m taking my time and taking my time. I’m taking my time now. When she starts to be able to say to people, oh, I write books, and it’s just like a, a totally different posture and it’s, and she’s full of happiness.

[00:52:32] I introduced her also to someone that’s helping her now, um, make it a reality. But that’s an example of rewire, of peel back, rewire, and then rise.

[00:52:45] Dwight: That’s awesome. Uh, because the reason I think that’s fantastic is I look at sometimes people need structure in order to adapt, move forward, change realisation.

[00:52:59] And that’s very, it’s not, it’s not that it’s not difficult, but it’s structured enough that somebody can look at it and you explained it very well, they can apply it to their lives. Obviously utilising services from you would certainly help them even more, or somebody that’s within their, their sphere of where they live.

[00:53:22] Mm-hmm. Maybe it’s not, maybe it’s not easy for them to reach out, but regardless, sometimes I find that coaches or people that educate or serve overcomplicate things and they don’t make it, they don’t, I hate to use this and you probably have better wording for it. They, they don’t dumb it down enough for people.

[00:53:41] They keep it, they keep the $20 university words or college words. It’s very, it’s too above a person where they’re currently at. And, and it’s not that what you’ve designed or developed is simplistic by nature. It’s very therapeutic and helpful. I hear that. But it’s simple for a person to digest. That’s what I, that’s what I got from you.

[00:54:04] So thank you. Is there anything else you’d like to add before we move on?

[00:54:09] Janylene: Well, I would add that the trickiest part is really the, the peel back, because even myself or myself, right, mm-hmm. I sometimes need support to be able to peel back, like, to go to the subconscious stories that I’m telling myself. So that’s, I would say the trickiest part.

[00:54:31] If you, if, and there’s different ways to do that, you can do that through arts, you can do that. I was on a podcast that’s called 10 Tracks, where you, you bring 10 songs that talk about your life doing that exercise with a big subconscious, um, awareness exercise because I came out with songs and then I saw how they fit all together in the story.

[00:54:55] There was a lot of subconscious messages in there. So there’s a lot of ways to get information from your subconscious, but one of the really good one is hypnosis, because you do are in a state where you have access to that information very easily. So that’s why I would say the, the, the peel back part is the part that most coaches just skip because it’s, it’s like, let’s, let’s do the rewire.

[00:55:24] But if you have not peeled back, it’s, I find it difficult to rewire.

[00:55:31] Dwight: Wow. Thank you for that clarification. Um, yeah, I, I look forward to actually going back over my notes and listening to this conversation again. Um, it, and the reason I bring that up is for those listening are watching, I’ve listened to podcasts, I’ve reread books.

[00:55:50] I’ve already gone over notes from conferences more than once because we only can grasp so much initially. But if you have that, I don’t know that twang in you, that that fuzzy or warm and fuzzy or anything through this conversation, you owe it to yourself. Put some more effort in, put some more energy in.

[00:56:14] We are all worthy, we’re all unique, like our fingerprints, and we deserve to shine in our own ways. Right. Don’t give up on yourself, because what I wanted to end that with. Mm-hmm. Right. So let’s talk about book writing. Right. Um, I talk about this because I know writing my own book was one of the most cathartic things I’d ever done.

[00:56:38] Five and a half months of rollercoaster, right. Realisations, moments that caught me off. Guards memories. I hadn’t let myself sit in for years. The quiet little celebrations I never, never really gave myself or told anybody about. It was really an emotional circumstance, which I found very some days very stressful and emotional that I other days very gratifying.

[00:57:05] So when our guest has written their own book, I always wanna know what they went through, what the process was. Was there a cost? What did it give you?

[00:57:14] Janylene: So my book, my book is written but not edited yet. Yeah, so not published yet, I mean,

[00:57:19] Dwight: yep.

[00:57:20] Janylene: So, uh, I’ve started probably a thousand books in my life. One page.

[00:57:26] Dwight: Wow.

[00:57:27] Janylene: Right? Like one page. Oh yeah. One page. Okay. That’s it. Right. Um, and then one day I was in a group, I was in a woman’s group, uh, business woman’s group, and we were in a seminar and, uh, it, you know, you kind of bounce ideas and everything and suddenly my book became clear in front of me as clear as when the day I said, I’m gonna become a hypnotherapist.

[00:57:54] As clear as I say the data, I said, I’m gonna stop drinking as clear as that, you know, those total clarity moment. So then I knew exactly what I was going to do. So then after, for me it was, um, I would say a logistic more, um. Uh, and then it was to confront myself with, um, language and like I’ve written in French of, of course, but it was really about, um, my ideas clear, like, what’s between my mind and what’s written?

[00:58:29] Is it clear? And my books co comprise a lot of other people in this book so that I, you know, so I had their parts and I kind of put all the parts together. Some I had to rewrite. So it was a, it was a pleasant experience. And then lately my father came for a couple days in vacation and I printed it and he left, he’s in Edmonton actually now.

[00:58:55] He left to go west. He is 83 years old. And he left with his man to go out west and just go and explore the world for the summer. And he took my book with him and he is reading it and now he’s telling me lot is giving me a lot of feedback. ’cause he’s a very good reader. And so that’s an interesting process too.

[00:59:16] So, yeah.

[00:59:18] Dwight: Wow. I appreciate you sharing that. Um, do you have any idea when it’ll be published?

[00:59:25] Janylene: I need to find the publisher. I,

[00:59:27] Dwight: I

[00:59:28] Janylene: don’t have

[00:59:29] Dwight: a

[00:59:29] Janylene: publisher yet. I’ll,

[00:59:30] Dwight: I’ll, I’ll tell you the best way to get past it and you can actually pick up on a more national level is I would look at self-publishing. It is more powerful than people realise.

[00:59:45] Um, it has its hiccups, but self-publishing is because I dealt with, um, a publisher that specialises in dealing with people that self-publish and takes you through the process because it can be daunting, right? So that’s just my piece of advice. Mm-hmm. Af a having conversation with you thus far and understanding where you’re coming from.

[01:00:11] That book needs to come out sooner than later.

[01:00:15] Janylene: I know this book has to come out that I know for sure. I agree. Thank you for saying that.

[01:00:20] Dwight: Yes. It, it sometimes buried treasure needs to come to the top right. It needs to be, it needs to be dug up and, and brought to the top for everybody to be able to appreciate it.

[01:00:32] So did you write this book specifically? Was there a specific person in mind or was it just something that you needed to release because of your circumstances in your journey of life?

[01:00:44] Janylene: No, my idea is, uh, always about impact in terms of, um, you know, it’s a book about sobriety, but it’s a book about sobriety in a very different angle.

[01:00:55] I believe that what’s been written so far. But really the idea for me is I had anybody who’s drinking, let’s say every week in mine.

[01:01:08] Dwight: Okay. So it, it, it, it’s gonna fit where it needs to fit. It’s basically Exactly. Basically. Yeah. So I appreciate that. I look forward to finding out. You’ll have to reach out to me when it’s, when it’s released.

[01:01:22] I’ll, I’ll, we’ll have you back on this show and, and dive deeper into the book, um, if you’re interested. So I would love that.

[01:01:29] Janylene: Absolutely.

[01:01:31] Dwight: So a lot of clients are successful by every external mesh measure. And in your words, living seven out of a 10 life, what does that actually look like day to day? And why do so few people say it out loud?

[01:01:45] Janylene: So this came really by a realisation. I, when I do have new, a new client, I sent an extensive questionnaire and I realised that this, it’s a statistic of my clients. They’re at a seven out of 10. When I asked them, where are you in your life right now? There is a seven out of 10. But if you would see those people on the street, you think they’d have a 10 out 10 lives.

[01:02:05] So they have the career, they’ve been successful, they’re, you know, they’re doing well. They’re, they looks like they have it all together. Um, but internally they feel at a seven. So the idea that I have developed through my practise is instead of aiming for the 10 out of 10 illusionary life, which would always move, you know, if you know a billionaire, you would know that if he has only 1 billion, he feels unhappy because this other guy has 13 billion.

[01:02:34] And if you have this guy who’s a hundred million, he looks at this other guy who’s a billion and, and so on and so forth. So even if you have a 10 out of 10 life, um, you’ll find ways most of the time to make it seem like it’s, it’s, it’s a seven or it’s a six. So what I say to people is, start by creating artificially, 10 out of 10 moments, micro moments, 10 seconds, one minute, five minutes, an hour, and then it’s gonna become relevant for your subconscious brain that this is what you look for in your life.

[01:03:09] You don’t look for a 10 out of 10 life. You look for a 10 out of 10 moments. And so every day you start to do it artificially. You create them. Like I go on my terrace. I live in the forest. So I go in the terrace on the hammock with my dog, and we have a cuddle moment, and that’s a 10 out of 10 moments for me, right?

[01:03:31] I meet somebody in the street that I haven’t seen for years. I take the time to have the amazing conversation with her. That’s a 10 out of 10 moments, and I’m starting to tell my brain that’s relevant to me. I want more of that. The same way when you buy a Volkswagen or you’re pregnant, you start to see the pregnant woman, you start to see the Volkswagen.

[01:03:52] They were all there before, but you didn’t see them. So what I say to people is, is when you do that, you start to create 10 out of 10 moments in your life, and from moments to moments, you start to experience your life differently. And instead of. Focusing on the gap between the seven and the 10, you start to focus on those 10 out tens moments.

[01:04:18] So that’s how I’ve developed that.

[01:04:21] Dwight: That’s awesome. I could, it’s, it’s great when you’re talking about some of this stuff and sharing stories, I could, in my mind’s eye, I could see you with your dog cuddling. Right. It, it, it’s, it is good though. We need, many people do though. They need that visual, that a, a person that’s good at articulating in storytelling, which you’re very good at.

[01:04:45] So thank you for that. It, it reminded me of my, sadly my girl dog passed away a couple years ago. She was just, just shy of 14 years old, a weak, shy of 14, unfortunately. And I had those moments, and really when I think about it, I wish I would’ve had more 10 outta to 10 moments with her when she was alive, and how many times we do that, not just with our animals, with people around us, and then it’s too late.

[01:05:12] Janylene: Yeah. Yeah. And, and I, I feel we’re, it’s just so aiming for something that once we have it anyway, it’s not, it’s gonna be meaningless sometimes. Like that new car, that new house, yeah, it’s nice, but I mean, you know, but creating those moments and multiplying them and, and um, being the artisan of it, making choices, you know, that’s, that’s really, you know, it’s coming full circle with the idea of living on autopilot.

[01:05:46] Right. That’s the total opposite of living on autopilot.

[01:05:50] Dwight: Yeah, it certainly is. And this kind of, we can segue into the lonely middle. You call the space between an old identity and a new one. Lonely and uncharted. Why does that middle stretch feel so idly isolating? Part of me, even for people who are surrounded by family, colleagues and friends, I know myself, I’ve been in circumstances where I’m in a, you know, around family, colleagues and friends, and I still feel alone.

[01:06:18] I still feel isolated. So could you please talk about that?

[01:06:22] Janylene: Hmm. In a transformation there is that fast, you know, this space where you’re no longer the person you were before, you’re not yet the one you’re becoming and you’re experiencing going into both worlds. Um, and, uh, in that transformation, going into those both worlds, you are also getting to know yourself differently than what you have been so far.

[01:06:53] So, because you are becoming different and transforming, it also transforms your relationship with other people. Some people will be drawn closer, some people will be drawn further. Some people were not even interested in having a relationship will. You will come very, very close and some others will go very far away.

[01:07:15] I think that moment of transformation where we really go within. And get to know ourself and get, to make the choices of who we are becoming, who we want to become. If we do it with too, too much pressure, too much expectations from others, then we’re, we are kind of, um, derailing the process again to meet other people’s expectations or things that have been, you know, that we’ve decided that we would do to please others or, and or to meet, you know, whatever social expectations.

[01:07:53] So that moment, I think, um, it, it is to celebrate that moment where you feel alone with yourself and unique within yourself in your reality. If you’re not disconnected, if you remain connected to yourself, I think it’s a blessing, it’s a something to saviour.

[01:08:16] Dwight: Absolutely. Um, I’ve been working on that and I think I will till the day I take my last breath, personal development and realisation and sitting in those moments and accepting them, not hiding from them, not running from them, not letting have other people’s expectations of me become my reality.

[01:08:36] So I appreciate you talking about that because I, I’d be willing to bet, and I’d probably be very high in the numbers of how many people listening are watching that have. Have that stuck moment, that isolation moment. And they need to realise there’s, there’s hope is something that has died in a lot of people.

[01:08:59] I don’t know if you agree with that. They just, they’re living on that hamster wheel and they’re stuck.

[01:09:04] Janylene: Well, I feel that there’s two fears that really preventing people from transform. And I, I think they’re intertwined. Like what? The fear of being alone, like if I transform, like if I stop drinking, I’m gonna lose my friend, whatever it is, right?

[01:09:18] But there’s another tribe, but just don’t know that tribe. But there is another tribe. And then the other one is the fear of judgement . So the fear of judgement , really. And that’s normal. This is hardwired, right? Because if you are judged and ostracised and kicked out of the tribe, you were not surviving in our old wired in a way.

[01:09:40] But in the new world today, there’s plenty of other tribes, there’s plenty of other, um, you know, um, communities where we can, you know, belong and find people that share the same values and same way of living, like the fear of what people are gonna think of us and the fear of being judged. I think I meet, I think probably 95% of my client at one point or another of the work we’re gonna do together.

[01:10:08] We are gonna hit that one. It’s a big major one. And it’s very interesting because I always say to them, there’s a belief that we work, which is, um, the, the, the judgement belongs to whom judges. So when somebody judges you, it talks to you, it informs you about that person. It shows you how they see the world, how they see you.

[01:10:31] It’s not bad, it’s not good. It’s really about who they are. So when somebody judges you, you are learning about them and really the, the, the, the sentence, because each session I do a recording for my client that they listen to between each of the session. And one of the sentence that probably most of my clients have had in their recording is that judgement belongs to whom?

[01:10:56] Judges. It informs me about them. I love that. And once you switch that posture. It’s not about, oh, I’m gonna do everything I want, like I want and blah, blah, blah. It’s working now. I’m gonna make healthy choices for myself aligned on my objective, my vision, my values, and my community. So

[01:11:19] Dwight: that’s, that’s great.

[01:11:21] Um, what popped into my mind set was when people tell you something, believe them. Right? When they Oh, yes. Right. Whether it’s judging you directly as you meant, like judgement or they’re talking about somebody else, or a group or politics or religion or health or whatever. People are sharing and they’re judging a circumstance or making a statement about that circumstance, believe them.

[01:11:51] Right?

[01:11:51] Janylene: Oh yeah.

[01:11:51] Dwight: Don’t make excuses for them. You don’t have to. Right. Just believe that’s what it is. And I love that how you, how it was very, you articulated it very well. So thank you so much. Um, I wanna go on to another section. Is there anything else that you’d like to share to close that off?

[01:12:10] Janylene: No, no, that’s, I think we’ve covered it pretty much.

[01:12:13] Dwight: Thank you. Appreciate it. So when it comes to personal development, um, you have a contrarian take that most personal development runs on the fuel of feeling broken. Unpack that for me. What’s wrong with the fix yourself model that so much of this industry is built on?

[01:12:32] Janylene: Yeah. I, I hate anything that I hate.

[01:12:36] It’s powerful, but I dislike, don’t use anything that has to do with your full potential. Stepping out of your comfort zone. The best version of me, I wanna be a better version of me. That means nothing for your subconscious brain. It means nothing. When you try to go into a direction, it means nothing. Also, it stems from you’re not good enough yet.

[01:13:03] Right. You’re not good enough. And that’s the second family of belief. That’s the most common, right? I can’t connect, I’m not good enough and this is not available to me. Those are kind of the three families that are the most common in, in the family of beliefs. And, um, you know, everything, A lot of the work or the approach that I see is really based itself and starts with, well.

[01:13:32] It’s not enough. You are not enough. So you need to be a better version of yourself. So you need to go to your full potential. You already are at your full potential today. You really are the best version you can be today. And I say to people from that posture, what do you want to experience in life next?

[01:13:52] What kind of life experience do you want next? So when people come to see me and they say, oh, I have this a, d, d, or I have this, or I have that, I say, fantastic, I’m happy you have a diagnosis and you can work with your psychologist, your psychiatrist, but here tell me what do you wanna experience differently?

[01:14:10] And then it was, well, I wanna be able to listen to my wife when she talks. Okay, let’s work. Let’s go and work on that. Let’s work on tangibles on things. But I’m not using labels either with, either with people. So I think a lot of the work is really starting from that point. It always need to be better. So I say to people, you really are already your full potential today.

[01:14:37] You really are the best version of yourself today. There’s no other imaginative version of you, but how do you wanna experience life? And now what do you need to be in order to experience life that way? What is it that you wanna transform and what is it that you wanna keep? Right? So that’s really my approach that I’ve developed, kind of being fed up of hearing all those.

[01:15:05] Dwight: That’s fair. So this is gonna be the final question.

[01:15:10] Janylene: Yeah.

[01:15:10] Dwight: Jt, there’s someone listening right now who’s exactly where you were in that frozen interview, capable, accomplish, and quietly convinced that if they just push harder or figure their out on their own, it will finally click someone who has been on the edge of giving up on themselves more than once.

[01:15:29] What do you want them to hear before this episode ends about giving a heck and not giving up?

[01:15:35] Janylene: Hmm. It’s such a good question.

[01:15:43] I think. Um.

[01:15:49] Believe your body, I would say is the first thing, like if you feel like you’re frozen, if you feel you’re not comfortable in your body, if you feel that’s it doesn’t feel right, believe your body, like trust your body, trust, trust what you’re feeling, start with that. Trust that this is true. It is true to you no matter what other people say, this is true to you, and trust that right there.

[01:16:17] From there, I would say go and seek support. So I have a three step model to transformation and one of them, the first step is really to build a team around you. And, and that’s go and seek support. Build a team around you of people who will support you, who you are going to be the absolute, um, most important things that they do, that when they are with you, you’re the most important thing.

[01:16:49] And, and that’s what I would say believe, believe what you’re feeling.

[01:16:54] Dwight: That’s awesome. It’s like you were talking about earlier, when you lose one tribe, you can gain another, right? There’s tribes out there that are meant for you and you’re meant for them. Um, your worlds can overlap. You can still have your unique identity.

[01:17:09] You can be unique to who you are and your growth and your evolution and your climb, but you don’t have to be stuck. There’s, there’s somebody out there. There just is.

[01:17:19] Janylene: Yeah. When we’re, when we’re little, we don’t have choice. The tribe is the one that is around us. That’s the tribe. We, it’s not a tribe we’ve chosen, but as we’ve grown up, we can absolutely choose.

[01:17:33] Dwight: Yes, absolutely. I appreciate that, jt. Thank you. This conversation is honest in a way that a lot of self-improvement conversations are not because you’re not selling anyone on being broken. You’re showing people what it looks like to build from strength. What strikes me most about you and what you shared today is the gap between knowing and doing is not a character flaw.

[01:17:56] It is simply where the real work actually lives. You spent your whole career learning how to work in that exact space. Jt, where’s the best place for our listeners to find your work? Learn more about Peel Back, rewire Rise and reach out if this conversation stirred something in them.

[01:18:15] Janylene: Yeah, I’d say the first thing is to book a strategy call.

[01:18:18] It’s a 30 minutes free call, and it’s on my website, JT at hypno coach ca. Or if no, coach ca is my website. Sorry, G is the address. But if no coach do ca you can go there. You can sign up to my newsletter and you can book a 30 minutes free call. Um, I’m a lot on LinkedIn as well. Um, I publish and I write in my, I write pretty much every week, um, on my newsletter.

[01:18:46] Dwight: That’s fantastic. For those new to the Give a Heck podcast, go to give a heck.com. Go to the top Click podcast. You’ll find detailed show notes for jt. Um, there’ll be a summary of this episode along with, um, both show notes as well. Um, in regards to the transcript. All her social media links her website so that you can easily find this.

[01:19:12] You don’t have to necessarily, um, pull over, rewind this, do whatever. Just go to give a heck.com one, one-stop shop to even access. If this, if you want to find it easily on YouTube and actually watch it, maybe, um, your person is. Stimulated more by visual than you are just auditory. So I, I give the best of both worlds.

[01:19:36] Jt, is there any final words you would like to leave with our audience before I wrap up the show?

[01:19:42] Janylene: Uh, no. I just wanna thank you for your questions and, uh, how prepared and interested you are in the topic of, um, you know, uh, self-development and discovery of self. And I think it’s, uh, I really enjoyed the time here.

[01:20:00] Thank you.

[01:20:01] Dwight: Thank you so much too. It works well. We both were intrigued with one another and it just flowed well. The conversation was very in depth, but not so in depth that people can’t follow along and stay engaged. So thank you so much. To our listeners and viewers, thank you for investing your time with us today.

[01:20:21] We do not take that lightly. If this episode resonated with you, please share it. When you share an episode, it helps this message reach more people so they too can give a heck and live with purpose and intention. Please subscribe to the Give a Heck Podcast on your favourite platform and leave a comment to review.

[01:20:39] It helps to show grow and allows more people to discover conversations that challenge them to step up and live intentionally. Until next time, live life on purpose and not by accident. And remember, it’s never too late to give a heck.