Resilience Through Vetting: The Power of Selective Relationships with Mista Yu

Resilience Through Vetting: The Power of Selective Relationships with Mista Yu

👤 Guest Bio – Yusef Marshall (Mista Yu)

Yusef Marshall, professionally known as Mista Yu, is a dynamic and purpose-driven leader whose life is built on service, transformation, and legacy. He’s a father, ordained minister, mentor, bestselling author, high-performance coach, and entrepreneur with a diverse background in business, computer programming, certified coaching, and culinary arts.

Raised in Brooklyn, Yusef developed a sharp sense of discernment early on—learning to vet relationships and protect his energy. That mindset helped him overcome adversity, emotional gaps, and the challenges of fatherhood without a role model. Today, he empowers youth through his nonprofit Save the Children SC, hosts the podcast They Call Me Mista Yu, and leads Near Time Media, inspiring others to live with purpose, authenticity, and impact.

🗣️ Episode Summary

What if your breakthrough moment wasn’t when everything clicked—but when you nearly lost it all?

In this episode of the Give a Heck Podcast, host Dwight Heck sits down with Yusef Marshall (Mista Yu) to explore how adversity, discernment, and intentional living shaped his journey from Brooklyn’s streets to becoming a transformational leader. You’ll hear how vetting relationships became a survival skill, how writing unlocked healing, and how podcasting gave voice to a legacy rooted in service.

Whether you’re navigating emotional wounds, seeking clarity in your relationships, or building a purpose-driven brand, this episode will challenge your mindset and inspire you to live life on purpose—not by accident.

 

⏱️ Timestamps & Highlights

  • 00:02 – Meet Mista Yu: Brooklyn roots, skepticism, and early discernment
  • 04:30 – Vetting relationships: Why boundaries protect your purpose
  • 10:58 – Near-death wake-up calls and redefining what matters
  • 22:30 – Fatherhood without a blueprint: Healing generational gaps
  • 30:58 – Podcasting as a tool for legacy and leadership
  • 40:47 – Writing The Heart of a Stepfather: Storytelling as therapy
  • 47:11 – The origin of “Mista Yu” and building an authentic brand
  • 50:12 – Final reflections: Living intentionally, leaving a legacy

🎯 What You’ll Learn

  • How to turn emotional gaps into growth
  • Why vetting relationships is essential for mental clarity
  • How writing can unlock healing and self-awareness
  • How podcasting amplifies your voice and mission
  • How to build a legacy rooted in service and authenticity

💬 Notable Quotes

“As long as I’m borrowing this breath, I have a mission to fulfill.” – Yusef Marshall
“Living on purpose isn’t a destination—it’s a daily decision.” – Dwight Heck

If this episode stirred something in you—share it, subscribe, and leave a review. Your story matters. Your legacy is waiting.
It’s never too late to start giving a heck.

🔗 Connect with Yusef Marshall (aka Mista Yu)

🌐 Official Website

🎧 Podcast Platforms

📱 Social Media Channels

🔗 Connect with Dwight Heck

🌐 Official Website

🎧 Podcast Platforms

📱 Social Media Channels

Chapter Summaries(Full Unedited Transcript follow):
The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:02 – Introduction to Yusuf Marshall and Intentional Living

00:02:08 – The Power of Discerning Relationships and Personal Boundaries

00:06:19 – The Importance of Quality Over Quantity in Social Circles

00:10:40 – Near-Death Experiences as Catalysts for Purposeful Living

00:13:00 – Embracing Continuous Self-Improvement and Mindful Living

00:13:52 – Embracing Purpose and Living Intentionally

00:16:37 – The Urgency of Living with Purpose Amid Life’s Uncertainties

00:20:06 – Mentorship and the Power of Starting Purposeful Living at Any Age

00:22:09 – Navigating Fatherhood Without a Father: Healing the Emotional Void

00:26:46 – Finding Healing Through Spirituality and Redefining Fatherhood

00:27:46 – Healing Through Perspective and Acknowledgment

00:29:52 – Reflecting on Life to Foster Emotional Health

00:31:43 – The Origin and Motivation Behind Yosef Marshall’s Podcasting Journey

00:34:51 – Coping with Loss and Identity Through Creative Expression

00:39:11 – Writing to Heal and Build a Personal Brand

00:41:08 – The Therapeutic Power of Writing and Blended Family Challenges

00:44:48 – Alternate Career Paths: Acting and Baseball Dreams

00:47:06 – The Origin and Meaning Behind the “Mr. U” Brand

00:49:21 – Embracing Identity and Personal Branding as an Introvert

00:50:12 – Connecting with Yosef Marshall and Final Reflections on Living Purposefully

 

 

Full Unedited Transcript:
00:00:02 – Dwight Heck
Welcome back to the Give a Heck podcast where we encourage you to live a life on purpose, not by accident. I’m your host, Dwight Heck. Today’s guest truly walks the talk. Yusef Marshall, better known as Misty U. Is a father, ordained minister, mentor, best selling author, high performance coach, and founder of Near Time Media. He earned multiple degrees from business administration and computer programming to certified certified coaching and culinary arts and has devoted his life to service, transformation and legacy through his podcast brand. They call me Mr. You and the nonprofit Save the Children SC Yosef is empowering youth and communities with purpose driven education and advocacy. With a story marked by adversity, redemption and grit, Yosef reminds us that intentional living isn’t just a mindset, it’s a movement. Let’s dive in with Mr. Yu. Welcome to the show, Yosef. How are you doing?

00:01:06 – Yusef Marshall
Thanks for having me in here, man. Thanks for having me on the show, but this is fantastic. I’m excited. You guys sound pretty busy.

00:01:12 – Dwight Heck
Oh, geez. He sounds like, he sounds like. I can’t approach him. He’s unreachable. I’m just teasing. I’m just teasing. I know for the listen. I know for listeners and viewers watch, you know, watching to the, watching this on YouTube, we had such a great preliminary conversation. I would just felt like I had, I had the confidence and I knew he would take it just to tease him. Right.

00:01:38 – Yusef Marshall
I got that, man. It’s a no big deal.

00:01:40 – Dwight Heck
Right on.

00:01:42 – Yusef Marshall
Thank you, brother. It’s been good.

00:01:43 – Dwight Heck
Yeah, right on. Let’s. Let’s start with the big picture, right? Yeah, the big picture. How would you describe your journey from growing up in Brooklyn and becoming a multi passionate leader, creator and servant to your community? What things in your life right from the start of your earliest memories to where you are now made you a man you are today?

00:02:08 – Yusef Marshall
I’d love to say that it was my faith, but there were so many areas where there was some voids in those areas. So I can’t lean on that. In the past 30 years. I can, but not for going back to childhood. I will probably say that I was very decisive and discriminate in all the experiences that I’ve had. Some people would have just taken all of this experience and kind of just, you know, put it in their toolbox. I was very picky about what I, what I received, the takeaways, what I decided to put in my toolbox and, and live out. And I don’t even know where that even came from because I came from a place where we were in rough shape financially and in a lot of other ways. Our entire, all our neighborhoods and the community at large was like that. So there was a lot of people with their hands out in my time growing up in New York, in Brooklyn specifically and always had a mentality like, you know what, you know that they’re giving away free lunch. But is this free lunch good for me to eat? You know, I was thinking like, okay, it’s free. I was. So I guess being a skeptic played a big part in this. But it’s free. They give it to me. Should I want to have received this? So I saw that not only in terms of free lunch, but I saw that in terms of people who offered their hand in quote unquote relationships, People offering to give me brotherhood, people offering to give me community in some area or give me a great deal, a great opportunity to get into. I was really, really skeptical and, and very decisive and discriminate about what I got involved with. I feel like that played a big part in my today because now people have. And this is, I mean this in the nicest possible. I know it’s going to sound messed up. It sounds mess up in my head too. But there’s a book called the the ten Indisputable Laws of Relationship. I think it was relationship. And I’m learning that I have to vet people for relationship. We didn’t know that was a thing. I thought you just let everybody in who wants to have a relationship with you, just let them all in. No, I have to really vet them and, and decide, you know, what is this person good to be in this spirit with me? You mentioned something about that in our pre interview conversation. But you got to decide, you know, you have to decide you want this person in your space to release whatever they bring to the table into your world, into your sphere. And to me, I felt like I was like skeptical but also very observant in particular about who I let into my atmosphere. Even the friends back in New York. We always, there were always gangs and cults and all kinds of opportunities to get involved with so called community or counterfeit communities. I was always very picky and specific. You know what? If I feel funny about it, I’m not going to do it. If I feel weird about being a part of that person’s situation, I’m going to just stay away from it and go away. I was an introvert as a result of it. But it was, it was the best move for me because now I see that those decisions I made then affect my right now. Now I’m like, I’M super specific about relationships and who I get involved with, who I partner with in business, who I even take on as a coaching client. I’m very, very particular about that. If I see anything that looks like a red flag, something that’s insurmountable, orange flag can handle a yellow flag, maybe so, but a red one, I can’t do anything with that that tells you know what, this is probably not a good place for me to invest my time and energy and focus into. So I was a, I was a picky eater and I was a picky relationship person.

00:05:52 – Dwight Heck
So that’s great though, like, wow. Now let’s unpack all that because, you know, I was just, I always jot down bullets points. I forgot to mention that to you. So I’m not, I am paying attention but I’m very meticulous about my thought process and, and ensuring that I can respond in kind to what your great information you shared, you know, like betting relationships, right. Whether or not they want to be in your space, I love that. And we did talk about stuff like that. People being in your season, being in your sphere, part of your tribe. And at the end of the day, we as a society do not develop social skills to understand that more isn’t better. More friends, more responsibilities, more people to put on that mask, that facade isn’t the answer. The answer is, is to work on you. Love yourself, have a sphere of 3, 10, 15, like they say, the five closest people to you are the best. But I have more than that, right? But it took me years to, to take that mountain of friendships or connections or so called supporters and take that mountain and take it down to a molehill, to make it really small, to make it centric to me and my message and their message supporting me and me supporting them. A true synergy. And sometimes you don’t communicate with those people in your tribe for six, eight, ten months. But I know if I, I dropped a, a DM to them or a phone call or whatever, they’d be there for me because we, we respect each other, that relationship. But so many people today, they don’t vet their relationships. They look at what can I get out of that relationship. That is not vetting a relationship. That’s, that’s being single minded. And oh my goodness, I just met this new person. I just met Yosef and they told me that he can do this, he’s got this, he’s got that. Maybe if I’m really charming and I put on the mask of phoniness and I convince him he’ll be my new friend and he can lead me to this and that and help me build a mountain. They don’t get it, right? So I love that your internal energy is so important. I’m an introvert myself and people don’t believe it. I’m only extroverted. I’m only extroverted when I need to be, brother. Right. I only put out energy to those that deserve it and continually. Like. I like how you talked about yellow flag, Red flag. I’ve got things like that too. I got something called a 7030 principle. We won’t get into it. This isn’t about what I do. But there’s. It’s about the process. You talk about things that we need to integrate into our lives to be a filter. A filter not just about who’s in our life. A filter about what happens. For those watching YouTube, you see me pointing at my head, those listening, I’m doing a circle toward my mouth. You have to have a filter. What do you share? Right? What is worth your energy? We talked about this in the pre recording. What do we. What do we present ourselves with? Are we. If we open up the doors of our life the same. When Yosef first meets me and he all of a sudden he’s blessed or I’m blessed for him to look at the doors in my life and I open up and I look at the doors and Yosef looks at me and goes, wow, you’re the same. Whether you’re. You’re business mode or personal mode. You care the same way both ways, right? There’s little differences between our business personality and our work purse. Our, pardon me, our personal. But there shouldn’t be a. It shouldn’t be a lot. It shouldn’t be a lot, right? We should be genuine good people. Introverts, extroverts, don’t matter. But you need to practice to be that person that does vet their relationships. And I’m telling you right now, if you don’t, you’re going to be. Your relationships could. Can drive you into addiction, whether it’s personal or friend. Right? Maybe it’s a significant other. Addictions happen because we don’t have a good model of people around us and they’re. They don’t know how to cope. They cope a certain way. You think, hey, I’m gonna jump in with that too. Yeah, pour me a double, right? I’m not against people that drink or, or even do recreational drugs. I’m against people that use it as a crutch. I’m against people that use it and get addicted to it and their kids and their family stay back. They’re never forefront of them because they’re, they can’t wait till Fridays and then they’re sad all day Sundays because they know tomorrow’ Monday. Right. Just. We have to continue to work on that. So I really like the fact that you talked about, about betting relationships, internal energy. Anything else you’d like to add before I move on?

00:10:34 – Yusef Marshall
Go ahead.

00:10:35 – Dwight Heck
Sure.

00:10:36 – Yusef Marshall
I like that sounds like a thought process.

00:10:39 – Dwight Heck
Thank you. So you, you know, especially researching yesterday, you based more than your share of adversity, brother. Like, wow, what are some of the major turning points that made you reimagine what purpose means?

00:10:58 – Yusef Marshall
I think the, the short answer is when you come close to losing everything, you see the everything in a different light.

00:11:10 – Dwight Heck
That’s.

00:11:11 – Yusef Marshall
I’ve had a, had a. Had several near misses if you will. From strange car crashes to attempted robberies, being held at gunpoint. Not because I walk in the wrong circles or anything. Is. Is just things that have happened. But what was, what was jarring and also helpful in those situations was that it made me realize, you know what, think about what you actually have and, and really appreciate that and live your life every day as if you recognize that this stuff is valuable and you know, and, but, but most of all realize that there’s a purpose for you being here. Because there were a lot of times where I didn’t see that. I didn’t have anybody in my life to tell me that that was so that I mattered in the, in the broader picture. I didn’t have, I had people who are, who love me unconditionally. Don’t get me wrong, this is not against any of them. But in regards to the kind of thing that I coach people on now, I didn’t have that stuff at all. You know, everybody had an angle, everybody had a motive. There was always a string attached. But you know, the main thing that I felt like I got from all of those situations, near death experiences and close calls and such, is that I realized that I’m. As long as I’m holding, as long as I’m still borrowing this breath that I’ve been given because it is on loan, you have to go back to the manufacturer at some point in time. But as long as I still have that and I still have it in, in my position, so to speak, you know, I did a. There’s a purpose for that and a reason why I need to utilize that privilege. So I, I take, I don’t take any day for granted. My day like I’m like, you know what? I got this planned out, and I just assume that I’m going to be there for that meeting. I’m just hoping and working towards it. Say, you know what? I got so much to do. But in the interim of all this waiting, I’m working on me in the process. I’m reading and listening at a higher level than I probably have in years. And I’ve always been a voracious reader. My mom taught me that when I was a little. A little tyke, you know. But I’m reading, listen on a higher level. I’m feeding myself things that I believe are helpful for me. Less of the idiot box and more of the thing that help feed the passions that I have, the goals that I have short and long term. And I’m just looking at this thing like, you know what? This. This train can stop at any time. It’s not. It’s not going to stop and find me on the couch eating Cheetos. That’s. That’s not going to happen. If it’s going to stop, it’s going to stop. Well, I’m mid. I’m. I’m working. I’m working hard toward the goal. I’m working hard to fulfilling this purpose that’s inside of me. And these things that I believe are serving other people, all the things that you name so eloquently. Thank you for doing that. All those things are. They mean something to me. So I’m working toward. That’s why I stay busy. Because I’m like, I got. I got something I have to accomplish. One of our mentors, dearly departed gentlemen by the name of Dr. Miles Monroe, influencer in our life to such a degree. He has so many incredible quotes and incredible messages that he taught books that he wrote. Fantastic. Now, the quote is too long for me to try to recite it, so I’m not gonna even try. It’s like a paragraph long. So rather than butcher it, I’m trying to just kind of give you the clip closed version of it. Basically said, the richest place in the entire world is not Fort Knox or the oil fields in Saudi Arabia or in Texas. They’re in the graveyard for all the songs that haven’t been written, all the investments that haven’t been made, all the poems that haven’t been written yet, all of the books that haven’t been written, all of the inventions that haven’t been invented. That’s what they are. Because people live their entire life and never found out what they were supposed to be. Doing never fully utilized the full capacity of who they were on earth to be, you know, so we say, you know what? I’m, I’m. I’m on to be a mother. I’m. I scoff at that. I’m like, you ain’t here just to be a mother. There’s so much more that’s one dimensional. And I, I say that with love and compassion. I ain’t hating on no mothers. That’s not my goal with that by saying that. But it’s just. It’s one dimensional. There’s so much more to us. Honestly, I believe we have more than one thing that we should be purposeful in doing. Not just the one thing. It’s just probably a layer thing. Look, maybe people in your life look at many areas where your influence reaches. So when you name all them things like you did in the outset of the show, that doesn’t blow my mind. I’m like, I’m doing something in all those areas. I’m not lining my pockets. I’m doing something that affects other people in all those areas. So the purpose is more broad than it is narrow. So I learned that from him. And I live my life every day with that in mind. That, you know what? I got a mission. And when feet hit the carpet or the floor, whatever it’s like in your house, you know, it’s time to go to work. It’s time. It’s time to put in that work. Because there’s gonna be a time comes when all the lights are going out and the account’s going to be closed and there’s no backseats. You can’t go back and try to refix him. Okay, What TV and movie says when lights are out, they out.

00:16:30 – Dwight Heck
Yeah. Well, then every day you live intentionally is a day of peace. If your ticket is punched, if your time on this planet is. Is not to be any longer, did you leave. Did you work and live a legacy? And then did you leave that legacy of people going, wow, you know, amazing what he did, how he changed life or what she did. And. And purpose is so misunderstood. And that’s why when I wrote, you know, how to live life on purpose, not by acc. Been my mission since I got into this industry. Right. 22 years ago, coming up on 23. And why did I get into that? Same as similar. You know, we look at our lives and think to ourselves, is this it? Or do we. Sometimes people are so involved, like you said in the Cheetos and. And the idiot box, they’re not developing, they’re not reading their associations. When we talk associations, the first thing that people pops into their mind are the people they hang out with. No, it’s associations of what you read, what you watch, what you eat, what physical activity. Those are all associations that tie together and make you a roundabout person. A person that’s living on purpose, knowing full well that even an hour from now is the future that I can’t forecast. This is the present moment. Am I living purposefully? Am I engaged in this conversation with Yosef? Am I literally a person that is doing this for the right things? These are all things I think about. And having that gratefulness, waking up, knowing, thank you, I got another shot. I appreciate you, God. Now I’m gonna go out and prove to you that you allowing me to be on this planet for another day and not punching my card and taking me up to heaven and is going to be worth it for everybody concerned, mostly me, so that I can still continue to feel worthy, growing, feel like a good person and take the. Extend that energy to everybody around me, whether it be on a podcast, a client call, going to their business or their home, speaking on a stage. Am I always having the right intent, knowing that, you know, I’m being judged in a way that is based on kindness, interaction, making a difference. So I. At my point right now in my life, I can’t say this is. Was always the case. If I punched my ticket today, I’d leave this earth with satisfaction. I’d leave it with peace. And I’d know that I. I did what I could to the best of my ability, throughout my stages, throughout my climb and life to make a difference in people’s lives. And. And that excites me. That’s why purpose excites me. Because I don’t know when my ticket’s going to be punched. In the last few weeks, I lost a friend of mine to cancer. Right. Thank you. At 58, 59 years of age, another person, another person, friend of mine, her brother, who I didn’t know, but I know her. Two days after her son’s graduation, where the uncle come? 52 years of age, massive heart attack. And I don’t say this to make people feel think poorly, that I’m talking about and promoting sadness. I’m promoting reality. I’m promoting the fact that I really want you to learn how to live an intentional, purposeful life, no matter who it is. You need mentorships throughout your whole life. You talked about that earlier. Who do we have as mentorship in our youth? Broken, learned behavior. A lot of It, Right? That was taught to them and they passed down to us because nobody taught them to really internalize. And that’s my mission, to help people internalize and live a purposeful, intentful life. And it sounds a lot like you and I are cut from the same cloth to make a difference and just. And to start. It started the youth, right? To start with people, to help them, and nobody listening or watching. It’s never too late to give a heck. I don’t care if you’re 70 years old. I’ve coached people that are way older than me. If you have that epiphany today, right, act on it. Take that baby step. Right? I’ll get off my. I’ll get. I’ll get off my soapbox.

00:20:55 – Yusef Marshall
Good stuff, man.

00:21:00 – Dwight Heck
Some people, younger people, don’t get that when I say that statement, huh? What are you talking about? Whatever. You know, it’d be like, you know, it’d be like anybody famous. You think about, you know, Martin Luther King, you know, and I think about that. So, you know, how many times did he have to stand on something to get above a crowd, to be able to speak, right, to be able to communicate? And to me, anytime somebody steps in a soapbox, they have a message they need to share, and it needs to be elevated about somebody else. So that soapbox phenomenon isn’t necessarily all stepping on something. It’s stepping above and rising above and getting your message out and having your energy just above everybody. Not too high where they get blown away, but enough where you excite them. Right? I say, I just did it again. Sorry. So let’s get really real about fatherhood and legacy, because we did talk about it, you know. Well, it is something that is. Is really. We have emotional gaps. We have growth through our life experience. We have impact of fatherhood on values and. And being that single dad, you know, like some of the things we talked about. Prior hitting record, even. So how did you. Because I’ve seen this as your questions, and I thought, you know, that is great. I’m glad he’s aware of that and wants to talk about it. How did you handle being a father without having one yourself?

00:22:30 – Yusef Marshall
Oh, wow. Even every time I even hear the question, it’s. It’s never a simple answer. Dances get a little shorter, but never a simple answer. When you don’t have a. When you have context. And this is just. This is not a Brooklyn, New York commentary. This is for anybody who was in my spot across the world, but there’s plenty of places that are underserved Communities that have similar situations. So it’s not just Brooklyn, New York. Want to make that kind of part or make that part clear. But when you don’t have context for what a healthy marriage looks like, when you have context for what it means to be a father and to be a. A male role model in a community, you know people. I know people who may be watching, listening to your show. My show. Many different podcasts out here. They may think they’re fine because they feel like they’ve gotten past it. I gotta bust a bubble here today. You didn’t get past it. I don’t think you can. You can go 40, 50 years into the future where you have kids, grandkids, great grandkids, case in point. And those things, people call them triggers, people call them void. You call them whatever you want to, but they always pop back up. And I got to a point where I. I resign myself to the fact that my father and I were not going to have a relationship. I got to the place where I chased him across the country, literally. And it didn’t end the way I thought it would. It ended. You ever seen a show that ended to be continued, but then they canceled the show, didn’t come back. On a show that you liked a lot, do you know how that feels? You want to rage and you want to attack somebody. Like you want to choke somebody with me. Wait a minute. I put all my months and years into this show and it ends with it to be continued or it ends on a. On a cliffhanger, so to speak. That’s a horrible way to end the show. That’s how our story ended, my father and I. It ended on it to be continued, but it’s not going to be continued. And whenever you have situations where there unresolved issues like that, for any young male, race, color, creed is not relevant. Culture does not matter. There’s always a piece of that that’s missing. A piece of the puzzle is always missing. My mom did her very best to try to fill it. She took me out there. I want to be a baseball player growing up. She took me out there with my bat and ball, let me practice as much as I wanted to. Rain, snow and shine. Took me bike riding, maybe shoot hoops just to get my, my, my jump shot, helped me do all those things. And she did amazing. For somebody who worked two jobs and went to school the majority of my childhood, 90 of it at least, she still couldn’t fill that gap. She did the best she could, but that just tells you how important the role is and, and that person is not really replaceable. That’s how important it is. And I said to the young dad, dads or dads that are thinking about bailing out, I just did a podcast recently with somebody want to talk about the same thing. There are men out here that’s struggling and they thinking about pulling the, pulling the plug on the whole experiment, if you will. But understand that even the situation that you are just insurmountable, irreconcilable differences they call it nowadays. I guess those children, they get impacted in a way that you can’t, you can’t explain in a way. You can’t make it better with toys and gifts. You can’t make it better with affirmations. There’s a hole that sits there. And it wasn’t until less than 10 years ago where I began to address the hole. And I’m not a young person. Despite my youthful good looks, I’m not a young person. I dealt with that recently after all these decades that have passed recently. My father’s been passed away for many years now. Recently I’m dealing with the holes and the voids and saying, you know what? I’m crying like a newborn baby. Like, why didn’t he want me? That stuff does not just go away. You can read all the books you want. I could make recommend a good book right now. Wild at Heart. Probably one of my favorite books on manhood. Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. One of the greatest books I ever read on manhood, boyhood, fatherhood, that I’ve ever read in my entire life. Even that book didn’t fix it for me. It gave me insights I didn’t have. It didn’t fix it. And until I realized that my view of God the father was the most important view of fatherhood, it took me a while to get there. When I figured that out, the healing process was able to start taking place. But I used to watch. If I watch a commercial on TV and little boy was out there with his son, I’m busting out crying no matter where I am. I could be in a, a sports bar watching the NFL draft, eating wings. I can be on my, on my couch, in my living room, I can be anywhere. If I see a commercial like that back in the day, I’d bust out crying on, on cue. Now I can watch it because I know I’m healed now. But it was because of my change of perspective and where I put my focus. It wasn’t all. What I didn’t have is what I Focus on what I actually did have. If that makes sense.

00:27:58 – Dwight Heck
No, it does.

00:27:59 – Yusef Marshall
To a really, really short question.

00:28:01 – Dwight Heck
Acknowledge. No acknowledgment. You acknowledged your circumstances.

00:28:06 – Yusef Marshall
Yeah. So that would. That was huge for me.

00:28:09 – Dwight Heck
No, that. That is awesome. I love that because at the end of the day, we have gaps in our lives. And, you know, like being a single, single dad of five kids, we talked about that earlier. I can’t really replace their mom, but I did my. My absolute best. And then I surrounded myself with associations that I had current and added associations to help me with the difficult things that I couldn’t. But, you know, this many years later, use of. My kids have holes like you talked about. Unresolved things that I can’t fix for them that I can’t correct. Yes, there’s conversations, and I have heartfelt apologies for things that I made mistakes and didn’t realize because I had so much on my plate. Running a business, one in income, trying to support and raise these kids and, and give them the right value systems and. And sometimes days later, realizing I screwed up and then going and talking to them about it, sometimes it would be immediate. My point is, is we’re. We’re human people listening, watching. We’re all human. We’re just trying to address the gaps in our lives and become whole. I have stuff in my life where, you know, I think of something and then, you know, be sad or cry and then finally getting to that point where, like you said, it doesn’t trigger you the same way, but yet I still get a pit sometimes. Sometimes I get that. A little bit of a trigger of my anxiety and think to myself, oh, I. I’ve dealt with it, but yet it’s still a memory that’s raw, you know, if that makes sense.

00:29:41 – Yusef Marshall
That’s fair. That’s fair.

00:29:43 – Dwight Heck
Yeah. So, yeah, I love how you shared that, though. That. That is great, though. Male being a healthy male being a healthy female. Do people. Do you ever think about that? How are you going to be? How can you be healthy? You got to reflect. You got to literally look at your own life and then start. Just take a piece of paper, write down, how are you feeling? What’s your life been like? Draw your timeline, even if it’s in bullet points. What’s life been like? Why do I always think about this circumstance? Oh, I’m going to write this circumstance down and I’m going to draw. Well, this will happen. This happened, this happened. I’m not saying it’s going to be your Alex, your elixir to fix Everything. It might be that thing that makes you go, wow, I’m going to reach out to Yosef or Dwight. I need some support. I need to help get rid of the cobwebs in my head so that I can understand and be that healthy male for other people. Or the healthy woman for other people. Right. Same. Same thing. I don’t know what a healthy marriage looks like. I’m divorced, dude. So I get. I get what your comment was. It’s very, very powerful. But, yeah, we’re going to continue to move on. Unless you have any last final comments on that that you’d like to add.

00:30:57 – Yusef Marshall
We can go through.

00:30:58 – Dwight Heck
Okay, sure. We’re gonna go on the power and purpose of podcasting. Right? I did read about that yesterday with you. And. And pleasantly surprised to learn. I thought you only had three. I must have read something wrong. But you have four podcasts, and you literally have a group of men that get together once a month, which I was kind of skimming that yesterday, and then you reaffirmed about it today and graciously invited me on. But it is powerful podcasting. What drove you initially, from day one? I know what drove me, but that’s not about me, it’s about you. What was the initial factor? Did you have anybody as a mentor pushing you? Or was it something you always intrigued about? To start podcasting, Feel like I’m an.

00:31:47 – Yusef Marshall
Anomaly in this life, and I’m not trying to make myself special, unique. I feel like I’m an anomaly because I rarely had any kind of mentorship in any important areas of my life. Now, my mother and Dr. Monroe are outliers in that case, but for the most part, I haven’t had that whatsoever. The podcasting journey started in 2020. I really feel like, to be honest, I haven’t shared this on many shows, but I really feel like it started earlier than that because my love for radio was something I’ve had for many, many years. I’m not sure I have a voice for radio. People say I do, but I don’t know. I don’t think about it that much. But radio was in the background of my entire childhood. Radio, radios everywhere. Everywhere in my entire life. Whether I’m on a basketball court shooting hoops, if I’m riding on the train to go to a location, or riding on a bus, or walking the streets in New York City, radio was always in the driving, in the car, always in the back of my mind, always in the background of my life. So to me, there’s some parallels there. So when I hear Podcasts. It reminds me, in a good way of what I experienced with radio. But the journey kind of kicked off in 2020, one of the worst times in our country and world’s history. Everybody knows what happened then. No need for me to rehash it. But as introverts, that might have been a really good time for us because we get a chance to do what we want to do anyway and just do it without any kind of breaking any legal or moral or ethical code. We can just be who we really want to be anyway. Alone. Get away from me. I got my blanket, my warm cup of tea or coffee.

00:33:39 – Dwight Heck
I got my dress shirt on and my sweats on.

00:33:42 – Yusef Marshall
With my room, my office door closed. I don’t want to go to your event. I don’t want to be around all those people. I pass. So that gave us a chance to kind of be who we wanted to be. That’s on a good side. But honestly, it’s not really that good. It was just good in the moment. But one thing I did since I was six years old, I was a writer. I wrote down all my feelings and things that I noticed and saw. If I saw a bird I never saw before, I write about the bird. I mean, I was just a writer since I was six years old, but it was also therapy for me. Ever since then, I would write down stuff in notepads and books and journals, and it would be therapy for me. But in 2020, relatives were dying around me. I lost my job. And it wasn’t fair how I lost it. People say all Covid budget cuts. We heard that a lot. But in my situation, it was totally unfair. I was the best producer inside the building, and they got rid of me first. So I didn’t understand that. So I was dealing with all those things, identity and all those kind of things and stuff. And I would start writing stuff down, like, you know, my go to my default, like I always do. And an amazing thing happened. It didn’t work. The therapy that I’ve been leaning on for over almost 44 years, it didn’t work. And I didn’t understand that. I kind of got a little scared. I’m like, this is my. This is my way out. This is my. This is how I handle things. I know shooting, too, that helps out as well. But back then, I couldn’t really do that, so. But, you know, safely, anyways. But the therapy wasn’t working, and I began to struggle with that along with all that was going on in our world and in my family and all the Things that were going on work wise and trying to figure out how to take care of my household and all those things. And I. I don’t even know how it happened. I just became. Because I was in isolation like most of us, I began to listen to things more. The TV was like, ah. All I was, you know, we were hearing on TV, right? You know, all we were was on a 24 hour news cycle. You can’t watch that stuff. But so much about vaccines and diseases and people dying in hospitals, you can’t watch that, but so much. So I kind of found alternative sources of entertainment, if you will. So I was listening to the podcast more than I ever have since podcast been around and I begin to resonate with what people were talking about. I began to connect with it in a whole different way. And I believe I got an epiphany that same year, 2020, that I needed to go that route. The introvert in me was screaming, no, no, drag me away. Screaming, I don’t want to do this. I want my face in my name on anything like that. No, thank you. But the instruction was consistent and compelling and I decided to go ahead and venture into the world of podcasting. I know it was legit because I got almost all my equipment almost for free. So I knew it was a thing that couldn’t say, you know what, this is not something I need to be doing. All the signs were there. So in 2020, I launched at that time was called they call me Mr. You. The podcast where I was talking about life stuff, things that were going on in our world and providing a balanced perspective, but also an encouragement, a dose of encouragement. All those that were watching and listening. It started doing really well early on. I’m like, I’m surprised. I really didn’t expect that one show turned into seven or eight shows. Then I was doing panelist work every week with six or seven other shows. So I was doing like almost 15, 16 shows a week that got to be too much for somebody to be doing. So that’s how it started. We drilled it down to four shows. Now it’s manageable. They what I’m passionate about most. I got all of the fluff out of the way and now I’m doing the things that I enjoy and making an impact the way I enjoy making it. So started in 2020, but we’re in 2025 and we’re going strong, man. So pretty excited about the future of podcasting.

00:37:54 – Dwight Heck
Wow. You are a brother from another mother. I started my podcast in 2020. Our overlapping of, of connection and reality and things we’ve gone through. Obviously our journeys have been a little bit different, but there’s a lot, like I said earlier, people that come on my show. You were a last minute person I sent out saying, sure, be on my show. You booked in a canceled spot. That happened for us, not to us. Right. You. I needed to hear your story. I needed to feel uplifted and hopefully I know what we’ll do for the listeners and viewers as well. And hopefully we continue this relationship. We’re going to move, move on because we’re running out of time. We’re definitely going to have to have another conversation right back here and on your podcast. I think we’re going to have a great relationship. Honestly, do I think, I think we can, you know, work together to, to elevate and change people’s lives around the world. Doesn’t matter where I live or you live. It’s. What do we think? How do we present ourselves? And do we live with a, with a life of heart, centered, giving? Right. And I think you do, right. I believe you do. So let’s talk about writing to heal. And people are gonna be listening, watching. Oh, what’s this? Where is this going? Well, before we dive into your book, Yosef, I want to share something personal with you and our listeners. When I started writing my own story, my own book, just putting thought to paper, it was unexpectedly, very cathartic for me. It helped me heal. It helped me realize, brother, what I hadn’t acknowledged, compartmentalized. So some of it was crying, laughing, some of it was pat me on the back as I was writing it. Other times it was kicked me in the pants because I, why didn’t I catch that sooner, you know, so really, at the end of the day, most people don’t understand the power of having a book, right? And, and they just don’t understand. And the kind of reflection, again, it, it unlocked things in me and it helped me elevate and get more tight and create the brand of give a hack. Because prior to that, it didn’t exist. I existed as a hack, but, you know, I didn’t, I didn’t have that brand. So it was all developmental of people wanting, you know, same, same scenario of you wanting to help and wanting to learn, wanting to grow. I loved radio growing to listen to talk shows. People used to go, you’re a young kid, why don’t you listen to music? I used to listen to these talk shows that my dad got me on and, and I’d listen, I’d Lay in bed at night and had the radio really low so I wouldn’t get in trouble. My alarm clock and I’d listen to these late night talk shows on radio and stuff. Right? Yes, people, they did used to have lots of talk shows on radio, right?

00:40:47 – Yusef Marshall
But they sure did.

00:40:48 – Dwight Heck
I loved radio. I never thought about being an announcer, but I never realized that maybe that was a little bit of a behind in my mindset when I started my podcast. I don’t know. So, y. Back to your book with that. I want to ask you. You wrote the Heart of a Stepfather, a book that really struck a chord for people in blended families. What inspired you to write it besides the stuff you shared already? And how did the process affect you personally?

00:41:16 – Yusef Marshall
What led me to write it was that, like you just said, it was cathartic. It was therapy for me. Told you. I wrote everything down since I was 6 years old. I kept journals and notebooks everywhere. But I. Because of what we dealt with in our family dynamic, which I wish I had time to get into what we don’t. But it was. It. It was hell for us. But the only thing that’s with the good part that we came out, you know, without any signs of the smoke or any. Any sins to our clothing. So we got through it. But I had to write that stuff down. I didn’t have a release for. I couldn’t even talk to my wife because she was going through it as well. So we couldn’t even have conversations in depth about those things. I had nowhere to go with all of those feelings. I didn’t have a community at the time to talk to about this, which is something I’m trying to build now because I recognize how much it was needed way back then in 2016. So I wrote this book to give a voice to those people who may be in blended family situations that feel voiceless. They feel as though they don’t have anybody to hear them. They may feel helpless in their situation and in their own lives. I want to let them know, you know what, they are not alone. I heard people who responded back when the book came out on Amazon, all the local locations and outlets and stuff. And I heard people say the same thing constantly. I’m glad somebody finally said this. This is exactly what I’m dealing with. This is exactly what I’m going through my mind. I was getting ready to quit this marriage and this book helped me to, you know, to stay in a fight because now, now I have tools to fight with. So I heard so many things along that line. That’s why I wrote it, man. For me, it was not only therapy, but it also. Let me see. When you write stuff down, sometimes you don’t realize what you’re writing to. You really look at like, okay, what are you saying? When you go back and really be like, oh, wow. So I. I saw myself in the writings. I’m like. And people start asking me questions about chapter six. I’m like, okay, what’s in chapter six? Let me go back and look, you know, and then you. Oh, so you. You see, you learn. I learned as an author about my own life, which is like, it sounds like a dichotomy, but it’s not. I learned about my own life and what I wrote. I’m like, wow, I didn’t realize this stuff was in there. I’m grateful to be on a road of. A journey of healing, because I’m like, wow, you can’t stay there in that spot. That’s not good. So I learned a lot about me, and I believe that we helped people who were in the same kind of family situation. We didn’t get a chance to do that as much as I wanted to, but hopefully a project is going to be coming soon where we get a chance to restart that journey and begin and finish the job that we didn’t get a chance to finish with the first book. So pretty excited about that, but hopefully answered your question. That’s kind of where the impetus for that came from and what I believe I got from it.

00:44:07 – Dwight Heck
I think we’ll have a episode very near future. Just diving into. Just diving into that book. Just diving into. Because I’d love to hear all those details, brother. I really would, but, you know, we’re running out of time. I’ve got less than, let’s say, 10 minutes here, so I’ve. I’m looking down and I’m thinking to myself, you know, what do I really want to unpack here before we wrap up the show? And one of the things that the alternative pass. I break my podcast up in the segments, and it says toward the end of it, but, yeah, I want to ask you, if you weren’t doing this podcasting, mentoring, ministry, what else might your career or vocation look like? What else would you potentially. What. What journey of life would have split off and taking you different places if you weren’t where. Where you are now?

00:44:57 – Yusef Marshall
I am really glad of where I am. I’ll say that up front, I really believe, because. And this is what happens when you have, you know, somebody who’s a bit of A rebel. All the things that my mom didn’t want me to do because she didn’t think they were good ideas career wise is probably what I would have done. I would have gone into acting and I would have been striving to be a baseball player with the New York Yankees. Two things she didn’t really want me to do as because she felt like it wasn’t a viable career step for. For me. She thought that it would be something that, you know, it sounds fun and everything, but it’s not a viable career. She was concerned about stability and consistency of finance and that kind of thing. All those are all risky. You know, you’re being paid in those areas. Both areas are risky. But had I. Not if I. If I erase all that I’ve done, authoring, books, coaching, mentorship, even the ministry, all things. I probably went one of those two routes, if not both of them. I’ve been trying to play. Trying to play baseball professionally or trying to be a. An actor, which I’ve. That’s weird. But to be honest, that’s where I would probably ended up at because, yeah, I think I did it. I ventured into everything else that I kind of wanted to start doing in life, and I’m still doing that and growing into it. But those are the two areas that have been left unfulfilled, if you will.

00:46:26 – Dwight Heck
Well, you know, technology, there’s a start, right? It’s to acknowledge and. And even anybody ever fill in those two or three or however many gaps at the end of the day appreciating what you have, it goes back to gratefulness and gratitude. Right? And if you, if you get closer to any of the things that are. That you thought you would be doing or would have gone that route, great. If not embrace what you’ve done. Like, you’re amazing, man. Like, I look down at how much other things I wanted to talk about. We only got a couple minutes left here, and I think it would be unfair for us to not talk about identity and branding. Right? The name Mr. U has a presence. Where did it come from and what does it mean to you Now?

00:47:11 – Yusef Marshall
It’s funny, I’ll tell you some story offline, but when I move from my hometown in New York City to. To the south, people couldn’t say Yosef. I go to a restaurant, supermarket, movie theater. I had to give a tutorial how to say my name. I just got tired of it. So you can just call me you. It’s totally fine. And it’s. And they try to press and try to keep on saying like, no, it’s okay, it’s okay. Just call me you. I, I’ll answer to it. I’m totally good with it. And what I found out was that a lot of the little kids, when their parents try to introduce me by my name, they struggle with it. So I said, it’s okay, you can call me Mr. You. And all the little kids call me Mr. You. And then the parents don’t because they used to say that this is the easy, this is the bailout package right here. We got try to pronounce his name because such a hard name, snot. But it was hard for them. So they said, I’m calling you Mr. You too. So parents and kids are like little infants, toddlers, they will call me Mr. You. And it kind of just stuck. So when I’m trying to find a name for the, the first show in 2020, I had no idea where I was going. I didn’t want my name in it because, you know, introvert, right? I don’t want my name in there. I want to kind of keep it as far away from me as possible. And it just hit me. I think my wife helped out a little bit with that. It was like, they call me Mr. U. I’m like, my name’s in it though. So I struggled with that thing for weeks. Like, no, my name’s in it though. I don’t want my name in there. But it, it made sense, it worked and it fit. And it wasn’t self aggrandizing to me. I think I got pure motives for even picking that name. But it’s this on the hatch, which is what. It’s just what it is. So that’s where it came from. I feel like, you know, in a lot of ways I’ve been misunderstood in life. And it’s like I get a chance to kind of show people who I actually am and kind of dispel some of the myths and I’ll show. Hopefully it does that in a good way. But that’s my goal. My goal is to kind of share this life, this incredible life story, all this, this vast experience that I’ve been able to, to have. And hopefully they get a, a different view of me and see, you know what, that I bring something of value to this big table, this biggest, this big, big picture experience.

00:49:21 – Dwight Heck
Wow, you certainly do. I look at the fact, man, we have so many commonalities. It just floors me, you know? Thanks, God. At the end of the day, it was the same for me. I didn’t want to use My name, I didn’t want to have nothing to do with it, but I had branding experts that I was, you know, introduced to world renowned branding experts telling me, you’re dumb. Basically what they said to me, you’re dumb. Why am I dumb? Because you have such a unique life that at the end of the day, why wouldn’t you want to utilize your last name? Why wouldn’t you want to? And as an introvert, I was just like, forget it. I’m not doing that right. So we’re gonna, we’re gonna wrap up the show. And one quick question. What’s the best way for people to reach you before I wrap up the show?

00:50:12 – Yusef Marshall
Best route. They call me mru.buzzsprout.com all of our socials are there. You can send me a text through that site. They call me mru.buzzsprout.com. you get me on all the socials. DM me. If you have any questions or concerns or desire for coaching and consultation or what have you, or any kind of collaborations, they call me Mr. U.BussProut.com best route to kiss me right now.

00:50:37 – Dwight Heck
Sweet. For those. You bet, brother. For those new to the show, go to give a Give A Heck podcast. At the top. Click on it, you’ll see a picture of Yosef and you’ll see all his show, the detailed show notes. You’ll be able to find all his links and how to reach out to him. So please don’t, you know, drive safely here. Listen to this in your car. You don’t have to remember it. So as we wrap up today’s episode, I want to leave you with something I’ve learned through hosting this podcast and living my own journey. Living on purpose isn’t a destination, it’s a daily decision. Whether it’s writing your story, sharing your truth, or simply choosing to show up with attention, every moment is an opportunity to rewrite the narrative. I’ve sat across from guests like Yosef who faced adversity head on and turned it into impact. I’ve reflected on my own path, where I’ve had to celebrate the wins I once ignored and confront the choices I avoid. The truth is, we all have a story worth telling. And when we choose to live with accountability, value and purpose, we stop surviving and start thriving. So wherever you are right now, whether you’re stuck searching or soaring, remember you have the power to live life on purpose and not by accident. Until next time, remember, it’s never too late in your life to stop or start giving a heck.