The Limitless You: Escaping the Social Trance and Embracing Self-Love with Yvonne Trost

Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal transformation? In this enlightening episode, I sit down with Yvonne Trost, a transformational coach, international speaker, and hypnotherapist who left her high-powered corporate career to help people uncover the happiness and purpose they never thought possible.

Yvonne shares her inspiring journey from corporate success to becoming a catalyst for change in others’ lives. We explore the power of self-love, the importance of authenticity, and the transformative impact of understanding our subconscious programming.

Key Takeaways:

• The crucial role of self-awareness in personal growth and relationships
• How childhood experiences shape our adult behaviors and beliefs
• Techniques for breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal conditioning
• The importance of vulnerability and open communication in building stronger connections

Embracing Your Authentic Self

Discover how Yvonne’s personal transformation led her to reject societal pressures and fully embrace her authentic nature. Learn why connecting with your true self is essential for both personal fulfillment and professional success.

Rewiring Your Subconscious Mind

We delve into the power of neuroplasticity and how you can reshape your neural pathways to create lasting positive change. Yvonne reveals practical strategies for:

• Identifying and reframing limiting beliefs
• Using meditation and mindfulness to connect with your authentic self
• Implementing daily practices to reinforce positive thought patterns

Building Stronger Relationships Through Vulnerability

Gain valuable insights on:

• Creating a safe space for open communication
• Addressing conflicts with compassion and curiosity
• Fostering deeper connections through authentic expression

This conversation is packed with actionable wisdom for anyone seeking to live a more fulfilling, authentic life. Whether you’re looking to improve your relationships, advance your career, or simply feel more comfortable in your own skin, you’ll find invaluable guidance to help you on your journey.

Don’t miss this opportunity to unlock your limitless potential and start living life on your own terms. Tune in now and start giving a heck about embracing your authentic, empowered self!

Connect with  Yvonne Trost:
Website: https://unlocklimitlessyou.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlockLimitlessYou/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/BradChandlerCoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlocklimitlessyou/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvonne-trost/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unlocklimitlessyou

 

Connect with Dwight Heck:

Website: https://giveaheck.com (Free Book Offer)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/give.a.heck

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dwight.heck

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Giveaheck

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@giveaheck

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dwight-heck-65a90150/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@giveaheck

Chapter summaries(Full Transcript follows):

 

00:00:02
Introduction to Yvonne Troust: Transformational Coach and Hypnotherapist
Yvonne Troust is introduced as a transformational coach, international speaker, and hypnotherapist. She left a high-powered corporate career to help people unlock happiness and purpose. Her approach blends ancient wisdom with modern science to empower individuals to overcome subconscious programming and find inner peace.

00:02:36
Exploring Yvonne’s Unique Origin Story
Yvonne shares her origin story, growing up in a small Midwestern town. She discusses how seemingly insignificant childhood experiences shaped her life and caused suffering. Yvonne emphasizes the importance of understanding “little T trauma” and how it affects personal growth and relationships.

00:09:35
Understanding Childhood Experiences and Self-Awareness
The conversation delves into how childhood experiences shape adult behavior. Yvonne and Dwight discuss the importance of self-awareness, questioning learned behaviors, and understanding the impact of parental influence. They emphasize the need to analyze and tell ourselves the truth to break free from limiting beliefs.

00:18:45
The Power of Self-Love and Personal Growth
Yvonne explains the importance of self-love and personal growth. She discusses how disconnection from oneself leads to various issues and emphasizes the need to start the day with self-connection. The conversation covers meditation, mantras, and the impact of desire on personal development.

00:32:03
Effective Communication and Emotional Intelligence
The discussion shifts to effective communication in relationships. Yvonne and Dwight talk about the importance of vulnerability, creating safe spaces for dialogue, and understanding the impact of words. They emphasize the need for emotional intelligence and self-awareness in interactions with others.

00:54:45
Parenting, Personal Growth, and Authenticity
The conversation focuses on parenting strategies, personal growth, and authenticity. Yvonne and Dwight discuss the importance of admitting mistakes to children, teaching emotional intelligence, and leading by example. They emphasize the ongoing nature of personal development and its impact on relationships.

01:03:15
Final Thoughts on Personal Growth and Energy
Yvonne shares her modified version of Einstein’s equation, emphasizing mindful thinking, compassion, and curiosity. The discussion concludes with the importance of not taking things personally, being open to change, and surrounding oneself with positive influences. They stress the urgency of personal growth and not waiting to live authentically.

Full Unedited Transcript:

 

[00:00:02 – 00:00:43]
Good day and welcome to Give a Heck. On today’s show, I welcome Yvonne Troust. Yvonne is a transformational coach, international speaker and hypnotherapist who left a high powered corporate career to help people unlock the happiness and purpose they didn’t believe was possible. As co founder of Limitless, you Vaughn brings 25 plus years of global experience and a deeply personal journey through divorce, single motherhood and career reinvention to her coaching. Blending ancient wisdom like Ayurveda, I’ll just.

[00:00:43 – 00:00:45]
Get you to say that coaching Ayurveda, you got it.

[00:00:46 – 00:01:26]
With yoga. With modern science, including neuroscience, quantum physics and hypnotherapy, Yvonne empowers individuals to overcome the subconscious programming that keeps them stuck in cycles of burnout, dissatisfaction and self doubt. She speaks with lived experience and delivers with heart, humor and hope. Whether your audience is seeking more meaningful careers, better relationships or deeper inner peace, Yvonne helps them remember this truth. You are already enough. I’d like to welcome you to the show. Ivon, thanks so much for agreeing to come on and share with us some of your life journey.

[00:01:26 – 00:01:28]
Thanks for having me.

[00:01:28 – 00:02:36]
You’re awesome. You’re welcome. Thank you for coming on the guests. People watching or listening, you know that I have fun with the guests. We have great conversation prior to hitting record. Some of that should have been recorded. We say that all the time. That’s okay. You know, Yvonne is somebody I think we’re going to have on the show more than once. It just was such an enlightening and open and honest conversation. We talked about everything from glasses to kids to braces. It was so electrifying. You should, you should have been there, but you weren’t. So we’ll try to give you as much energy as we can. So, Yvonne, one of the things I like focusing on that I mentioned to you is the person’s origin story. And I think yours is going to be one of the most unique ways we’re going to present the origin story because you, you brought up a valid point that I never thought about. Some people’s, you know, their origin stories just don’t get electrifying unless you talk about the future and where they’re at now. So, you know, present it however you want, jump back and forth, just, you know, connect as best you can with us about your story and your unique journey. I appreciate it.

[00:02:36 – 00:02:40]
Absolutely. Absolutely. We might just hop around, time travel all over the place.

[00:02:40 – 00:02:44]
Right on. Okay. Okay. I’ll be Marty the doc.

[00:02:47 – 00:09:34]
If you’re listening and you feel like your childhood was kind of boring, or maybe you don’t even remember much about it unless you were told about it or look at pictures. You can probably relate. I grew up in a town of 2,300 people. Back then it was 2400. Now it’s 2300 in the middle of cornfields, Flatland, Illinois. I lived in town, last street in town, and across the street were cows and cornfields. I am not making it up. So that’s why I thought, like, oh, my parents are still married. They’ve been married for over 60 years now. Like, I grew up in a town of 2300, not that exciting. And I just thought you. You know, my childhood was pretty boring, actually. Like, you know, pretty sheltered and not much to tell about it until I started realizing how it had shaped my life, caused suffering, and held me back. And I didn’t even have what I would say is, like, big T trauma. So if you’re listening, whether you’ve had what I call big T trauma, whether that’s physical abuse or, you know, you were sexually abused or you were abandoned or you were adopted or any of the things that, yeah, you’re like, oh, yeah, there was something there, or you’re somebody with little T trauma and little T trauma. Listen up. If your childhood wasn’t perfect, if you didn’t get all your needs met, you have little T trauma. So that’s everybody. Like when I first met my partner and he’s like, oh, what was your childhood like? I’m like, oh, it’s kind of boring. You know, I explained what I just explained to you guys, and I just said, I didn’t have any trauma. He’s like, there’s no way you would have married that guy you married and stayed married for that long if you didn’t have something going on. And I thought, huh? And that was the beginning of what I call, like, kind of my next awakening out of the social trance. Divorce knocked me over the head. Right? Right. My perfectly planned out future. Kids, house, Facebook, family, the whole thing, you know, because I had it all under control and all planned. When that nasty divorce happened, the unsafe divorce, that was the first, like, awakening. This was the second one where I started to realize you don’t need some huge crazy story about your childhood. All you have to do is have meaning that you gave your childhood as a young child. Right. Some event that made you feel like you were not enough. And in the hundreds of clients we’ve served and we’ve helped in our community, everything comes back to some version of their I’m not enough. So for me, I didn’t realize it, but part of my origin story was I was middle child, right? I had a sister 10 years younger or 10 years older, six years younger, so kind of like an only child. But I was the second one and I kind of was just left to my own devices. My parents didn’t come to my sporting events because they worked and they fed me and they sheltered me and they didn’t understand those sports anyway, so why would they go watch, right? But little Yvonne looked into the stands and she’s like, there’s nobody there for me. Why? Right. There’s all sorts of other things that, you know, we can touch on a few and as we get into conversation. But I got grounded if I didn’t get straight A’s. Not because my parents didn’t love me, they did it because they loved me. They grew up very poor, right? And they wanted something better for me. And they saw good grades, good college, good career. Money is my ticket out of what they suffered. Right? So if you’re listening and when you hear about. People talk about childhood trauma, whether it’s big trauma or little trauma, like, oh, my parents are great, I love them. I don’t want to blame them. Mine are too. It’s not about blame. It’s not about judgment. It’s the exact opposite. It’s about awareness. Right? So my company is called limitless you and you can see it. UnlockLimitlessYou.com there’s three things you have to first, realize, second, recode. And third, rewrite. Right? And I wouldn’t have known this had I not gone through all the things we’re going to talk about today that you may relate to. Right? The realize step is the first one because you have to have awareness, not just with your conscious mind. If you’ve been in therapy for years, if you’ve been in relationship coaching, if you’ve been in anything with most people, if they’re not dealing with your subconscious mind, right. They don’t have nearly the whole story. It’s proven by modern science. By the time you’re 35, 95% of what you say, do think, your whole personality, the way you react to the world around you, is driven by your subconscious. And most of your subconscious is formed before you’re 10 years old. And so I tell people, I’m a subconscious safari guide. I’m not going to talk at you. I’m not going to give you the answers, even if I might think I know them. Because you have to discover it. Dwight, how often do you Remember all the things that people told you to memorize in school? I can’t even tell you the capitals of the states anymore. And how many times did we have to memorize those? You don’t embody it, you don’t own it, you don’t love it, you don’t identify with it. So it’s really important to be led to your discovery. And that’s why as we go through more things, right, whether it’s my story, Dwight’s story, or maybe one of your stories, as we go through it, we discover what we thought was insignificant or significant. I’ve had clients that even wrote books about their trauma and their abandonment and they still, like, I can’t embody it, Yvonne. Because they were only using their conscious mind. They knew what they needed to do or what they needed to stop doing, but they couldn’t make it happen. And it’s because they weren’t tapping into the power of their whole mind, primarily their subconscious. And doing the recode, putting energy into what you want instead of what you don’t want. And doing the rewrite, reconsolidating your memory with the truth. Taking micro and macro actions to show your subconscious mind you’re not going to die and that you’re in charge and you don’t have to fear anymore. So now my origin story sounds a little bit more exciting than a small Midwest girl that grew up in a town of 2300. But she didn’t know that. And most likely you don’t know how exciting your story is either until you do some really cool exploration. What do you think, Dwight? Any questions?

[00:09:35 – 00:10:00]
Lots to unpack. That was a great way to present though. But it’s true. I grew up in a small farming community of 10,000 people. And you know, I grew up in a fairly decent existence. But like you, my parents were like, okay, the only things we really have to give you is shelter. So roof over your head, food and love. And you get all three and go out and play till the street lights come on.

[00:10:00 – 00:10:03]
Exactly. Be home by this time when it’s dark.

[00:10:03 – 00:12:18]
What are you coming inside for? There’s a garden hose out there. Go turn the, don’t turn on the spigot and have a drink, you know. And, and my dad was very, very successful. My mom was a stay at home mom, but also helped run his, run their, their, the family business. And they were there. They were good to me, they loved me. But yeah, I had those opportunities. For me, it wasn’t necessarily both parents. My mom took me to most of my stuff because my dad was so busy with his farm equipment dealership from spring till fall that anything I was in it was hard for him to come to winter time. They he was busy with his business even though the farm snow on the ground. He was busy doing other things and I’d have hockey games and wish he’d be there. And I had all those things that I wished and didn’t think. It bothered me. A lot of the things that I went through as a child, bullying, whatever. It was when I was in my 20s that I started having those realizations and started telling myself the truth as opposed to observing what I believe to be the truth. Because learned behavior is so powerful. And like you talked about awareness. How many of us do not have a clue really what awareness is of ourselves? To unpack and admit that we were programmed a certain way, good, bad or indifferent didn’t mean they didn’t love us. But that’s the hamster wheel of life, right? I know. You talk about it too. I talk about it in my book. I talk about the hamster wheel all the time. We get stuck on that, that learned behavior. We forget that we’re limitless. Limitless like you know, your specialty. So I do totally relate to feeling that way and getting to be an adult and I tell people this all the time. Our brain is a large computer. It doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie. It’s up to you to find good information, to feed it and in order to feel alive and happy and joyful and be able to circumvent, you know, the negative. Not that it’s not still going to be there, but be able to trigger and circumvent it quickly is awareness and, and development and learning to tell ourselves our truth. Because it doesn’t necessarily mean that our truth is the truth to somebody else. We’re just looking to be our unique self so that we can go out and help the masses out and create our tribe. Like you and I.

[00:12:18 – 00:12:19]
Absolutely.

[00:12:19 – 00:12:37]
Like you and I have already done. Now you know you’re part of my tribe. By the way, I forgot to tell you. So I understand that and thank you for sharing that our parents did love us. It’s just that they would come. My dad, like you talk about your family. My dad was on 18 kids. My mom was one of nine. So. Wow.

[00:12:37 – 00:12:40]
Wow, that’s a lot there.

[00:12:40 – 00:12:55]
You talk about learned behavior and, and desperation and being poor and my dad were his only salvation. He was programmed his whole life. Hard work is going to save your family so much so that he took it a little bit too far. Yeah, right.

[00:12:55 – 00:16:36]
And. And it’s not his fault. He did the best he could with what he learned and how he was conditioned to believe. And if you’re listening and you’re like, oh, well, I. I’m different, or I. I am fine. I thought I was fine too. And to anybody else, they’d have been like, oh, she’s really confident. She’s really this, she’s really that. She’s really put together. And what I realized, it was all a facade. It was all a mask. I didn’t know I was wearing a mask. But clearly my subconscious was making decisions in my life that weren’t serving me because of those limiting beliefs. And if you’re thinking, well, it’s okay, it’s normal, well, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s optimal. Especially if you think you’re okay. And you have kids, you know, now they don’t do what you tell them they do what they observe you do eventually, and they make meaning of what you do. So one thing that’s really important to pull the thread on is if you’re working a lot of hours or you’re not taking care of your mind, body, spirit, health. Because you think, oh, I gotta do this for the family, like Dwight’s dad, right? Like, I gotta work. I gotta do, I gotta do, I gotta do, I gotta do. You’re actually doing them a disservice. Because the only thing those kiddos or your loved ones need is the other thing Dwight said, which is the authentic you, the true you, them to see how do I live authentically. Not because you told them to. Right. But because you showed them how to. So Dr. Gabor Mate says, I love this. He did this study. And children have two needs, including you, right? Including the little child in you today, Dwight. And the little child into everybody listening. Your subconscious mind is. Is like your inner child. So whether you know it or not, there is a little you inside you. And it is part of your subconscious mind. And what that little you needs now and then. And all the children, all the loved ones that you have, you need when you’re young, attachment because you would die. Right? Infants can’t support themselves. But the second thing is authenticity. You need to feel safe and unconditionally loved as your authentic self. And I can only remember, I think maybe in kindergarten, they asked me what I wanted to be when I wanted when I grew up. And Then after that, it didn’t really matter. It was get the A’s, get the first, you know, place ribbon at track and field. Be like this friend, do that, do this right. And then now with social media, it’s even harder because we’re surrounded by all this AI perfection. And before that, it was just like people only showing the things they wanted you to see. And it kind of steals this, you know, permission to be authentic because people feel less than. And what I want us to all do is wake up out of the social trance because we were like, oh, hypnotherapist, that’s a little woo woo. That’s a little scary. You’re gonna make me like quack like a duck and bark like a dog. No, you’re in control the whole time. In hypnotherapy, this isn’t stage hypnosis. It’s a whole special limitless. You blend. Even what I tell people is you’re already in a social trance. You are already in a social trance. And it’s not until you wake up that you start living as the authentic limitless. You, if you’re doing anything you don’t want to do, ask yourself why. Most likely it’s because you’re conditioned to believe you have to by all the.

[00:16:36 – 00:17:15]
Outside noise from society, from social media. And as you mentioned, prior to social media was what people wanted to represent. I’ve been that way for so long where I look at people and I think to myself, are they being authentic or are they being somebody that if I opened a book of their life and I and are the doors of their life and I walked in, would I respect them? Would I what I want to be them? What I. What do they have that necessarily attracts me to them? How do I feel? Like people with being self aware and be and wanting to be your authentic self, start, start feeling your body language.

[00:17:15 – 00:17:16]
Yeah.

[00:17:16 – 00:18:38]
How do you, how do you feel when you’re talking to Aon? Do you get excited when you see her and her beautiful smile and once you’re done your conversation, you go, geez, I can’t wait to talk to Aon again. I guess I, I, I guess we connected. I hope we’re friends instead of just being, just saying, hey, well, and I want to be your friend. I think you’re fantastic. I think we have some connection. Right? Being confident too, when you’re aware and you start analyzing your body language and who makes you tick and makes you smile makes you have that warm and fuzzy feeling, which I love. When I meet somebody that I care about or I see them or I read their post. I haven’t even talked to them. I’m reading their posts and I’m smiling, thinking, oh, I love Yvonne. You know what, Vaughn’s post is kind of woo, but I still like her most of the time. So it’s not morally apprehensive. So Yvonne fits in my 7030 principle. 70 of the time. I can’t wait to view, read, see, talk, hug, have a coffee, whatever. All of the above, right? Self awareness is so important. It’s so important. Part of me. What is the weakness in our society today when you talk about being authentic and that we need to be self aware of ourselves? What is our biggest mistakes that we make from the moment we get up till we go to bed that you find when it comes to our authentic, unique self?

[00:18:39 – 00:18:41]
I think it’s disconnection.

[00:18:41 – 00:18:44]
Why is that happening though so often and getting worse?

[00:18:45 – 00:19:14]
So I want to pull the thread on something you just said that’s related when I first talk to somebody. So if you wanted to have a conversation first, go take our self love quiz and this is going to help you understand your way of being with yourself and with others. That’s that first step of awareness, right? So to answer Dwight’s question, you’re like, well, why might that be me? If you go to unlocklimitlessyou.com quiz, it’ll only take you like three to five minutes. It’s 12 questions. Take it easy.

[00:19:14 – 00:19:15]
I did it.

[00:19:15 – 00:21:13]
Yeah. And then you get emails and they’re like, oh well, this might be some insight, right, for you to think about your way of being. So do that first and then we can have a call about it. There’s a place to book a free call. But what I would say, since I can’t talk to everybody one on one right now on this podcast is what is the first thing that you do when you wake up most often? We have our alarm on our phones. We turn the alarm off on the phone and then we have all these apps with these red bubbles with these dots or we go, we check our social media and then we get sucked into not prioritizing or guiding our own day, but it’s guided for us. So subconsciously you are being guided right, in this social trance, like a puppet based upon what first pops up on your phone or. Or all the meetings people have scheduled you or worse. Oh my God, please stop reading all the emails. I don’t read half my emails because just text me or schedule a meeting. We are just pulled into busyness. We’re pulled into disconnection because we don’t start our day with reconnecting to like what you said, what’s on the inside. And so we need to start with connection not to our conditioned self, but to our authentic self. So we have free meditation that you can download on YouTube or our website. And there’s other meditations that I’m practically giving away. I want people to connect to their heart, to their mind, body and spirit. You have eight energy centers. They all do something different. But what does your heart need? There’s a beautiful heart coherence, mind, body coherence meditation on YouTube. You can go download it for free. I don’t even ask for your information. Start your day with connecting to yourself. I wake up every day. Yes, my alarm’s on my phone. But on my phone, the alarm I have is my mantra. So I’ll read it to you now since I just think this is. You asked the question and I’m going to share it.

[00:21:13 – 00:21:14]
Absolutely.

[00:21:15 – 00:21:35]
So my alarm is set and rather than then going to social media or something else, I have the name of my alarm has my mantra. I am living every moment at ease, doing only what I want as my higher self and optimal health and overflowing wealth quotes wealth deeply connected to others in love.

[00:21:36 – 00:21:36]
Wow.

[00:21:37 – 00:23:01]
Intention led. Connect. And then I meditate. We give people as I ask you what your magic wish is and we figure out why you don’t have your magic wish and. And we figure out what your true magic wish is, not the conditioned one, but the deep down one. Then we give people transformation recordings after their hypnosis. And every morning or every night you listen to that. So many years ago when I was training to be hypnotherapist, I had you do like a residency and I had a student partner and I have a meditation that he crafted for me after my own hypnosis right when I was in training. And I listen to that every morning. So I’m connecting with what I desire with what lights me up. Like you said before, right? So connect to that. It’s a long answer, but I want you to listen. Connect to your authentic desire. Desire is not bad. I have this mastermind. I call it my tribe. I love the word you use tribe because I call it my tribe. It’s called the limitless you tribe. You can sign up for it if you want. We meet every week, twice a week. And it’s a small, intimate group. But we’ve been talking about desire. I’m like, what do you think of when. When we talk about desire. And it’s so funny. I have them put stuff in mentimeter and chocolate came up and rated R came up and then we started talking about chocolate in rated R. What a.

[00:23:01 – 00:23:04]
Great conversation though, right?

[00:23:04 – 00:23:55]
Because what’s wrong with it? Desire is bad. Desire is selfish. Desire is rated rich. Desire is life. The English language is so interesting because so many words, number one, have so many different meanings. But then to you. And most of the time we don’t stop to ask ourselves, what meaning do I give? What’s happening in my life? What’s happening in my day? What’s even in this word? We think we just. It’s automatic. That’s that 95% that’s calling that program. We need to stop and think why do we give meaning to the things that we give meaning to? And then we need to choose our own truth. Like you said, Dwight, it’s never the experiences that impact you. It’s never. Even if Dwight made me mad, which I don’t think he could, but even if he did, it’s not Dwight. It’s the meaning I gave what Dwight did.

[00:23:55 – 00:23:56]
I love that.

[00:23:56 – 00:24:47]
So we need to think about what meaning or. Anytime you feel anything, whether you want to call it good or bad, know that it’s based upon the meaning you’re giving, what’s ever happening. And that meaning that you’re giving it is shaped by all the belief systems that were developed before you were 10. So if you don’t choose what you want to recode your truth to be the meaning you want to give things. And if you don’t actively rewrite that truth, you’re going to keep calling those programs that disconnect you from who you are and that have you drinking too much, working too much, cheating on your spouse, anything that’s unhealthy for you. It’s all because you’re trying to fill some hole. Because you don’t feel enough. And maybe you know it and maybe you don’t. I’m here to tell you it’s time to figure it out.

[00:24:47 – 00:27:49]
Wow, there’s so much to unpack from that. I’m just totally loving this. You talked about aware awareness. You brought up words and the meaning and power of words. And what are those words mean to us? Again, back to what I stated earlier. Our brain doesn’t know the difference between a truth and a lie. But that doesn’t mean. Doesn’t excuse us from not wanting to be better. So I like how you say you wake up in the morning and you read your. Your mantra, then you go into meditation. Me, I don’t get out of bed before I actually thank God for me again, I’m not against anybody that doesn’t believe in God or isn’t Christian. For me, that’s my centering thing. I wake up, thank God for giving me another shot, another opportunity to work on my life, to be the best version of me. Because if I can’t be the best version of me and love myself, how am I going to serve others effectively? Unless I’m that person that effectively thinks that living a facade and showing everybody rosy through pink, rosy glasses the non reality of what my life is, right? Because they can’t open the doors and see me. So I need to be aware and I do it throughout the day. Awareness for me is so important. I’ve gotten to a point where I will time myself out. People think time out. I don’t like. I love being timed out as an adult. If I’m disconnected, time me out. Maybe that means I need to listen to a podcast, a positive book, reach out to a friend, right? Hey, move on. I’m struggling. I need you to, and I know what to say to certain friends. I need you to just listen. I need you. I need to vent to you or I need, I need you to listen. But I need some advice or you know what, having those type of connections in your tribe, your friendships, your family, where you can help them or part of me, they help you be aware of where you’re at, to ground yourself. But literally so many people don’t understand the power of words and what we tell our brain. And you know that everybody always laughs. Well, you ever heard somebody say, would you talk to yourself? Would you talk to your best friend or your mom like that or your dad or sisters know, then why do you talk to yourself like that? Right? And, and we hear that over and over again. But. But people do really understand what that means. Garbage in, garbage out. Tell yourself positive things, associations of who you associate with, what you read, what you listen to, what you watch on television. The friends you associate with need to change in order to reprogram this big brains that we have and all that data that it doesn’t know. I could tell it something over and over again. Eventually I believe it. That’s learned behavior from childhood too. Over and over again, we visualize, we see, we get into adulthood, we start programming the same way. It’s okay to break the chain. It’s okay. It’s not disrespectful to your childhood by deciding to grow and climb differently Right, Absolutely.

[00:27:49 – 00:29:01]
And I love what you’re saying. I think a lot of times people think that it’s just like positive talk. Nonsense. Because they need something harder, more like solid. And, and what I would say is, okay, if you need that, start study studying neuroscience. Right. This isn’t just positive talk. Your brain only knows two things. Like Dwight said, it doesn’t know number one, truth or, or, or lies. And it only knows the thoughts you give it and the words you give it. The pictures you make for it. So what is happening is you’ve connected. If you can go Google Joe Dispenza, Dr. Joe Dispenza. Love it. He has this video out there where he actually shows you neurons wiring and rewiring. So if you’re saying all those negative things, you’ve created neural pathways between neurons. To believe that is your truth, you have to change. It isn’t just positive talk. It isn’t just like oh woo woo stuff. It’s neuroplasticity. It is reshaping the neural pathways in your brain to choose a new truth. And so do you want to do it? You don’t have to do it.

[00:29:01 – 00:29:02]
Everybody should do it.

[00:29:02 – 00:30:58]
I can’t make you do it. You get to choose one of the things. So there’s so many things we could talk about. The thing that I’ll tell you here if you are listening. Catch yourself before you wreck yourself. Somebody told me it was like a rap song. I didn’t know that, but I like it. It rhymes. If you have fear, these three things, write them down. Fear if you’re not immortal, Jane. Or you can have fear. But if you’re not in mortal danger, no fear. Including fear of the unknown which led and ruled my life for so long. No fear, no judgment of yourself or others. And no self pity or victimization. So quite often we like to give away our power because then we don’t have to do anything. It’s. It’s Dwight’s fault. He made me mad. It’s politics, it’s the environment. It’s a. Whatever. We give away all of our power so that we can throw adult temper tantrums and feel sorry for ourselves. And that totally sucks. Our energy, it ages us. It causes stress, which is low grade inflammation which is proven to cause cancer. So it matters. People, this isn’t a nice to have. If you want longevity in a longer life, we need to think about how you start choosing you. And like Dwight said, choosing you as your own best friend. Self love also isn’t woo woo. It is required wired Especially if you want love from others. Because you don’t get what you want. You get what you are. So like, Dwight wants to love himself in the morning so he can be of service. I bet Dwight also likes to receive love. Right? We talked about the warm fuzzies. You get what you are. So you like. To your point, who’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself? Right. For so long, I couldn’t accept a compliment. I had to like, be like, oh, they’re like, oh, your hair is great. I’m like, oh, well, you should see my mom and dad. Or oh, this or I could never accept a compliment.

[00:30:58 – 00:30:59]
You deflected a lot.

[00:31:00 – 00:32:01]
I always had to because I was taught that would be egotistical. You would be the B word. You’re too confident. Right. You’re intimidating. So listen up. If you don’t understand, you’re like, I don’t even know what self love is. What does that mean? Go take the quiz. Go figure it out. Because it will ask you how you are with yourself and how you are with others and it will begin to show you. So if it’s not a language you speak yet, that’s okay. You don’t even have to tell anybody. You can just. It’s just slash quiz. You don’t even have to put self love in there. Start discover yourself. Start to connect to yourself. It is not selfish. I tell people self health is not selfish. It’s actually selfish not to focus on your self health first because then you can’t be the best person for others. So Dwight can’t give the best service to everybody else if he doesn’t start his day with gratitude and self love.

[00:32:01 – 00:32:03]
Oh, and end it that way too.

[00:32:03 – 00:32:15]
Yeah. He knows what’s he needs for his self love. Is that the same for me? Is that the same for everybody else? No, everybody’s unique. I don’t know. Do you know the golden rule, Dwight? Were you raised with that?

[00:32:15 – 00:32:17]
Which, which one is that?

[00:32:18 – 00:32:18]
Others.

[00:32:20 – 00:32:22]
Absolutely. I heard it millions of times.

[00:32:22 – 00:34:05]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up that way too. We got that wrong. Here’s why. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Well, what if I don’t want. What if I don’t like what Dwight would do to himself? Why would I want you to do that to me? So that’s the first problem. And then the second problem. Nobody taught us this. I got it in Sunday school every single week. Right. Is that. Then you just think that, oh, then everything will magically be done unto me the way I need it. Everything I need comes from somebody else. Because that’s why I’m doing unto others as I’d have them do unto me so that I can get done unto me like I want to be done. To do. That also doesn’t work because usually they don’t do it because they don’t know you, because you haven’t taught them who you are. And then resentment builds and then relationships and the divorce rate, including my own. Right. We blame. We give away our power and we think like, oh, we can’t love ourselves. That’s weird. That’s egotistical. That’s narcissistic. No, I’m here to tell you it’s narcissistic not to because if you don’t, you don’t really care about. I should not really say narcissistic, but it’s selfish not to, right? Because I can’t give you the best service. I can’t give my best to Dwight if I’m not becoming the best person I can be. And that doesn’t happen by more hours at work, and that doesn’t happen by more money. And that doesn’t happen with happen with a bigger title or a fancier house or more vacations. You were talking earlier, Dwight, and you said you like to put yourself in timeouts. I just thought, why don’t we call.

[00:34:05 – 00:34:18]
It time in perfect time in time into being, you know, our unique self to be aware, to analyze. Like I analyze stuff all the time.

[00:34:18 – 00:34:32]
Well, you know, go in, go in, go within. That’s how you can be your best self for others. And that is not selfish. It’s best for you and it’s best for everybody around you.

[00:34:32 – 00:37:17]
Why do people think that? Why do people think that we’re being selfish or narcissistic or self absorbed? Whatever statement you want. Most people I’ve found that do that, that judge my actions, whether that action be verbal, written, whatever the case may be, is they’re deflecting. And on all these little sayings that we hear throughout our life or were projected on us, you know, better to be seen, not heard, or you know, like the golden rule and all that are all things to control. It’s no different than what happens throughout our whole lives. People, somebody’s trying to control us through, through their knowledge, to their understanding, and we become mini mes of them. And then we get trained by somebody else eventually someday this big buffet, this big salad that we’re mixing up is we pick and choose from it. And we try to make that our personality and it’s really, to me, it’s not our unique self until we actually look at all the different teachings that train. And I’m not saying it’s all bad, some of it’s good. But we get so many conflicting teachings throughout our lives through schooling, through family, through. If you’re a person that goes to church or you belong to a group, whatever the case may, you could be in Toastmasters, and they teach you and program you a certain way and the way they think you should be. You know what I mean? So it’s not against Toastmasters. It’s. It is what it is. Society is out to train you what they think is the most valuable knowledge that you need. What people don’t do is they don’t question. They don’t ask good questions to themselves or to others, to decimate all the crap that’s being thrown at them. That’s really like the school system teaches us way too much stuff that’s not important for our longevity in life. Whereas we need to look at ourselves once we get out of school and go, what’s important to us. And if you can’t do it yourself, you need a mentor. You need somebody to help you unpack and peel back the layers, like Yvonne, somebody that’s doing what Yvonne’s doing. They want to help you be your true unique self. Living with intent and purpose. Purposefulness takes energy. And I’m not trying to scare anybody, but you must be the willing. You must be willing to analyze and look at yourself and speak the truth. And I always tell people too, when we’re talking, we’ll have conversations. I want them to. Can I say. Can you repeat what we were just talking about? I want them to say it out loud. Their brain hears things differently than if they read it right. Here, write this down. Now read that right out loud. Why? Because it’s going to connect with you differently than if you just read it silently. Right. I don’t know if any of this is woo or all over the place.

[00:37:17 – 00:38:08]
No, it’s actually absolutely 120% true. So when I first meet somebody, there’s a couple things that you’ve said that I want people to start practicing. One is listening to your body or your energy. Like your subconscious mind doesn’t necessarily. The. The part that’s really down deep doesn’t have language. It’s not. Doesn’t speak English, French, you know, Spanish, Canadian. About. People always ask me if I’m Canadian because there’s a couple words I say differently. But so thank you. So you have to listen to your body. So when I first meet somebody, I have them read this quote from Voltaire. I think it’s, let me see if I can memorize that. Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by your imagination.

[00:38:09 – 00:38:10]
Wow.

[00:38:10 – 00:42:15]
And I say, what comes up for you? What do you feel? And I know so much just by what they say. There is no right or wrong. It’s about their experience. And a lot of times people don’t feel anything in their body because so many times we’re taught to numb out from feelings. We’re taught to not listen to our, like, you know, like, oh, I don’t. It doesn’t feel good. I have tightness in my chest. Bring it closer. Your body is trying to communicate to you. Why is it saying that? Why is it communicating to you those sensations and those emotions? What meaning is it giving what’s there, right? And if you can’t feel anything in your body, you’re disconnected from your body and you’re disconnected from a lot of your power. So I always ask people, what’s the most complicated thing on this planet, right? We have like, we built rocket ships, we have crazy AI now we have all these things, right? And people have figured out how to do that. And you could study, even if you had to study for a really long time and figure it out. But we’ve not cloned a human being that I’m aware of. We’ve not made. We’ve not been able to make a Dwight scary. So the human being is the most complicated thing on the planet. We didn’t even get the Quick Start guide. I’m sorry. Sex ed in high school in the US was not anything very useful. And that’s all we got. So what we do at Limitless U and in my tribe, and that’s why we meet every week, was like, what do people need? What do they want to learn? What do they want to grow? Like, you are the most powerful, valuable thing and you don’t even have the Quick Start guide, right? We have to learn Human Being 101, 201, 301. And not by ChatGPT and all the stuff that we can get thrown at us, but through experience. So like you said, Dwight, I was brought up Christian. I would call myself spiritual now. I’m a yogi. I’m a certified yoga instructor. I study Ayurveda, all the things. There is a golden thread of truth that you will find commonalities through all the ancient wisdoms. No matter what your belief, there is a golden thread. What I Always tell people, though, is don’t believe anything that I say. Go test it out, see if it works or not. Don’t believe anybody, anybody or anything they tell you to do, like, oh, this must be right because they’re in this magazine or they have this many millions or blah, blah, blah, whatever. Every human being is unique, number one. And no human being is omniscient. Take what you hear, experiment with it. See what works for you, what does, keep it grow. What doesn’t. Don’t judge yourself. Let that go. It’s not for you. That’s okay. That’s why people like Dwight and people like my company, Limitless. You and what I do. I have a bunch of different tools for you to experience. But what has to happen is what Dwight said. You have to be willing. You have to want it. You have to choose you. And that’s back to my origin story. I wasn’t taught to choose me. I was taught to choose serving everybody else at all costs. Work several jobs, go into business, make money, get a house, have kids by a certain date. Like all the things, I was always looking outside of myself because I was told that was what was important. And if you’re listening, you probably have some kind of similar feeling, like everything that’s really important is outside of you. Let’s go to Human Being 101. The most important thing is being connected to what’s inside of you. And you can start figuring that out. Whether you want to work with me or anybody else. Start figuring that out. Meditation. If you’re somebody, like, oh, I can’t meditate my thoughts, blah, blah, I was the same. Practice. Start small. And if you need help, let me know.

[00:42:16 – 00:42:33]
Yeah. And when you start stuff that can help you personally grow the uncomfortable. So you’re feeling really. You have to look at it a different way. You’re not being uncomfortable. It’s. It’s letting you know that you’re alive. As you’re going through and growing and changing. You’re alive.

[00:42:33 – 00:42:34]
Yeah, you’re.

[00:42:34 – 00:43:38]
You’re going to feel different. Your. Your energy, your. Your grounding of how you approach and look at things, how you communicate to others will start to change. And you will start to, intentionally or not intentionally. Your. Your awareness of your surroundings will change, your tribal change. You’ll end up starting to hang out with a different group of people or you’ll be. You’ll be so thirsty in the sense of wanting to adapt and change because now you are the willing that you will seek out people like Yvonne or myself or others to help you elevate yourself because you’re sick and tired of running the programming that the societal norms have been implied upon you or set upon you. Like you said, get married. I had all that same stuff too. Get married, have kids, have a white picket fence. 2.1 kids. Right. Point one being my dog. Right. So, you know, at the end of the day, we just. Life is in session. This isn’t a dress rehearsal.

[00:43:38 – 00:43:38]
Yeah.

[00:43:38 – 00:45:41]
I have to put every effort I can and work on myself and always be honest with myself. Because the only honesty I can have is myself. Like my own honesty. Because again, brain doesn’t know the difference, but I can educated on the truth that I wanted to have and realized through awareness that. Oh, that didn’t feel very good. I had a conversation with Yvonne today and she kind of looked. I watched her body language, but I wasn’t present in my mindset. But now it’s dawn on me that I said something that made Yvonne kind of frown. Was it what I said? Was it how I said it? Did I offend her? Did I. Did I pick away at a wound that she has, that she associated to our conversation? Man, I didn’t ask Yvonne. Ring, ring, text, whatever. Hey, Yvonne. We talked earlier yesterday. I. I kind of felt something off with you. Is it something that I did? Is there something that maybe I should have been aware of? Do you need to talk? We, as a society, in order to be centered with ourselves and love ourselves and. And, you know, it’s not selfish at all. It’s unselfish. As you talk about, to love yourself, we have to be aware of the people we have in our lives. In order to love ourselves, we need to give love too. So it has to reciprocal. And if I care about Ivana, I love her. I want her to know that, you know, I’m not perfect. I might have said something wrong. Can we talk about it? Oh, you said. You said this and this. Oh, I’m sorry. And then it goes back to the words we say. You talked about it too. The power of our words. People grab it to Thoris. If you don’t know what it is, Google it. Right. One word can mean one thing. A statement can mean one thing. And you can use a different word. It means. And the statement means the same thing, but one triggers different dopamine hits or different chemical things that go on in our brain. Right. Obviously with neuroscience, you understand that better than I do. But I like the fact you tell people they should research and do that. Your brain. You’re unlimitless. I love that. Right?

[00:45:41 – 00:49:07]
And I love what you just said, because it’s the V word, right? The vulnerability. So often, especially the old me. I was trying to protect me from being wrong. I had a big wrong and right monster on my shoulder because I was so judged all the time. Not out of spite, just out of love. I was judged. But it. How my little brain interpreted it was not that way. And I want to talk about relationships a little bit. Like, so much fighting. Like, what you just said, Dwight, is like, you sensed my energy. We made this. Let’s keep going with this fictitious example. You sensed my energy. Maybe you didn’t sense it right away, but you sensed it. And then you weren’t like, oh, I messed up. I’m gonna defend myself. I’m gonna pretend like that never happened, or I’m gonna. That’s what mostly people do, right? Like, they don’t want to be wrong. They don’t. They don’t. They won’t. They avoid conflict. Well, when you do what Dwight suggested, conflict can actually bring you closer and a deeper connection. When it’s done out of vulnerability, you create a safe space for the other person to do the same thing. So in my partnership, if my partner notices that my energy is off, that’s exactly what we do. If I notice his is off, that’s exactly. I’m like, your energy’s. I’m feeling a feeling. It’s a little bit, you know, different than normal. Is there something that you know is bothering you or that we can talk about? The other thing I would say go to our website, unlocklimitlessyou.com joy there’s something we created called the Joy Regenerator. And in there is a powerful little script. Like, there’s a way that I help you get to what you need to do to reconnect to yourself in that moment. Perhaps say, Dwight. And he said something mean. Dwight was probably feeling off, and it had nothing to do with me. It had to do with how he was feeling. So I walk you through in the Joy Regenerator, how to connect to that feeling, how to reconnect to your truth, and then how to have the conversation with the other person. Right? So say Dwight, you didn’t call me back, and I was upset. Well, you actually didn’t make me upset. It’s the meaning I gave. Whatever you said or did that made me upset. So I would take a deep breath. I would reconnect to myself. I’d understand a little bit why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. And I know a lot Because I’ve done a lot of. I call it exploration or discovery. I don’t call it work. Who wants to work? Exploration and discovery. So I know a lot of what triggers me and why. Does that mean I have no triggers? No. Does that mean that they trigger me and then I address them almost immediately? Yes. So rather than like losing relationships or being fights in months or weeks or have a cold shoulder or any of that stuff, now I can come to Dwight and I can say, dwight, it’s not your fault. Want you to know that first and foremost, you can’t make me feel anything. What I do know, though, is when you said this, whatever the thing is that you said that made me upset. The story I made up in my head was that, well, Dwight doesn’t think I’m very good at that thing, and I actually really want to be good at that thing. And then that makes me feel bad about myself, like I’m not enough. So that’s the story I’m playing in my head and I know it’s not true. Dwight, can we talk about it so we can process it and I can understand your intention and I can heal and we can grow closer together now that’s.

[00:49:07 – 00:50:30]
That’s a great way to do it. You brought up a point, though. It’s how one interprets. Like I’ll tell people if you, if you have a conversation with somebody, whether it’s in print, print’s the worst. Because we interpret print, email, text, whatever, post, we interpret that based on how we’re feeling between our six inches, between our ears. What’s our emotional IQ at that level? Is it. Is it high, is it low? Where are you at in your day? If something upsets me from somebody or a group or whatever, I try to time in, time out, whatever, come back later and read it again. When I’m in a different mindset, being self aware that now I’m in a different mindset, I now analyze that information, read it again, try to read it out loud because I want my brain to hear my voice, me reading it, and, and it calms. It gives me a common thread to my brain of calmness. Instead of reading it inside my head where I’m upset, maybe if I say it. So I try different things before I respond, before I get upset. Because if you don’t do that, all you do is open yourself up to feeling worse and that relationship possibly being damaged. If you respond in an unkind way because you’re reacting to somebody else treating you like garbage 20 minutes ago. Right?

[00:50:30 – 00:52:01]
Yeah. And actually has nothing to do with that person. It has to do meaning it’s whatever triggered the subconscious mind called. Right. The code that it called that you haven’t recoded yet. And it can take. And I like what you’re saying because it can take 20 to 30 minutes to come out of Fight or Flight or longer if you’re in freeze. And so this is where your mind, body, spirit is really important to understand all of them. Like, do some breath work. Just breathe in deeply and breathe out for slightly longer, right? So if you wanna breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six, it takes you out of that parasympathetic like fight or flight. Oh, my God. I gotta get out of here. I gotta fight. I gotta survive. It’s not. You’re not choosing it. It’s automatic. So until you learn to break that cycle with the tools that we give you, you just practice them. I have my clients. I’m like, don’t even try and memorize what I put in the joy regenerator. Print it out. Better yet, give it to your partner. Give it to your other people that use it. So you are all are using it. You don’t have to know exactly what to say. I have this thing. I don’t know if it’s on my website or not. I give it to my clients. It’s called Making elephants Fly. Like, sometimes when you’re in the heat of the moment and you’re like, how the heck am I supposed to stay calm and know exactly what you just told me to say? Make elephants fly. There’s little simple phrases like you can just say. I can say, dwight, I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t have the right words right now, but I really want to think about it. Can we come back and talk about this?

[00:52:01 – 00:52:03]
Oh, goodness, I do that all the time.

[00:52:03 – 00:54:45]
Five, ten minutes, right? Or I’m sorry you feel that way. Is this what I’m understanding? Is that right? Okay, that was never that. You know, that’s not my intention. I can see how you might feel that. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing with me how you feel. Because now we can make sure that my intentions ring true. There’s all sorts of little things, right? That when you’re healthy and connected to that authentic self inside of you, that limitless you, that these things now. When I first started dating Brad, I thought, oh, God, like, it’s over, right? Like, because I was used to fight or flight, right, in previous relationships, and I started coming up with These things and I started practicing them because that’s another thing I don’t. I walk my talk. I will never give anybody anything that I haven’t tried. True practice. And it’s worked. And now I’m just like, I’m not fearful anymore. I’m like, oh, this is really interesting. I want to remember this one, how we’re going to grow closer with this one, right? Because the more you are vulnerable and the more you create safety and the more that you teach your brain that with those tools you feel safer, you feel more connected. And if you’re listening and you’re like, well, I’ve tried those things with somebody and la la la. Not everybody’s ready to heal. Not everybody is your person. There’s billions of people out there. So like Dwight said, when you start doing the healing or the exploration, the discovery, the growth, your, your surroundings might change, right? Like for me, I thought I was gonna wait till my kids retire, like went to college to like retire from my first career and do what I really wanted. And that was gonna be like another 10 to 15 years. When I first started this, oh my God, I’m so glad I didn’t wait because I thought I was gonna do it for my kids, right? Because I made more money that way. For then, for now, you know, the abundance and the wealth is coming, but it was there already with that. But inside I was dying and I wasn’t a good role model. And so I guess if you’re listening and you’re like, oh, this is all well and good, but maybe you’re like me and you’re like, I gotta wait till the kids are outta college to change my career. I gotta wait till the kids go to college to get a divorce or to, you know, maybe this person isn’t right for me or I gotta, I gotta wait. I gotta wait. I gotta wait. There is no waiting because like Dwight said, Earth school’s in session. It’s in session right now. So maybe if you’re in business or even if you’re not business, you’ve heard a fail forward. There is no such thing as failure. There is just growth. We learn. And if we’re not learning and if we’re not learning and growing, we’re dying, right?

[00:54:45 – 00:55:18]
We’re on the hamster wheel forever. We’re really, we really it. You said so many powerful things though. Like, I look at the associations and the people I hang out with and people don’t want to own their own honesty and they don’t want to be able to be Honest. Like when my kids were growing up, I taught them many things, taught them the differences between needs and wants, and had conversations. Was I perfect at it? No. It should have been the first thing in the handbook for parents. Oh, wait a minute. I never got mine right where we need to be.

[00:55:18 – 00:55:23]
The ones we got were all about punishment. Disconnected.

[00:55:23 – 00:56:50]
You’re way younger than me. What you think doesn’t matter. No, that’s not the way to deal with it. Hey, daughter. I hear. I see you’re a little upset. Dad doesn’t have the brain space, the mind space right now. Because I’m dealing with something else to give you a hundred percent of attention. Is it something that can wait? If it can’t, I will give you my energy right now because you know you’re important. I love you. But if it can wait, and it’s a mutual respecting, it can wait. They could do the same thing to me if I wanted to talk to him about stuff. Can we. Can we discuss this after supper? Just before, you know, after your homework or after dad helps you? Because remember, a single parent and I used to have to have those conversations. Was I perfect at it? No. But every time I had the negative response to what I implemented, was I aware? Did I study that? Did I think to myself when I was doing my awareness or my gratefulness before I go to bed, this daughter acted this way. My son acted this way. What could have I done better? Oh, I said the right message. I did the wrong delivery. Okay. Tomorrow. Hey, son, Daughter. Dad. We went through this, right? I said it this way, and that was wrong. My intent was right, but how I delivered it was wrong. The way I delivered it was wrong. The timing was wrong. And I’m going to get better at that. And I did that. I did that through with my kids, all the way up into adulthood. Am I still working on it? Absolutely. Am I perfect? No. Right. None of us are perfect.

[00:56:50 – 00:57:27]
Nobody’s perfect. And you’re teaching them that nobody’s perfect. Like, going back. That’s one thing that I’ve also done. Like, if you’re a parent or even at work, we always fear, like, oh, what if we make a mistake? We’re not right. And then we got to, like, try and, like, prove that, oh, we’re still good or we’re still valuable. The most valuable thing, the most. One of the most valuable things that I’ve done with my kids since my own transformation is exactly what you just said, Dwight. Admitting when I was wrong, admitting when I wasn’t intentional, it. It gets easier Though.

[00:57:27 – 00:57:28]
Oh, of course.

[00:57:28 – 00:57:44]
Now that, now they, now I get it. I get it served back to me, which I’m so excited about. Even though they think that I’m woo woo, I, I tell them, I’m like, I, you know, you know how many parents have said, you made me yell or you made me, you know, ground you or you made me blah, blah.

[00:57:44 – 00:57:46]
Blah, let’s gaslight our kids.

[00:57:46 – 00:58:25]
Yeah, they actually can. You’re choosing it. And so I tell them now, I’m like, you can’t make, Nobody can make you feel or do anything. You will choose it unless it’s like, by physical force. So not everybody knows that though, right? Not everybody knows that. So you have to be aware of yourself and of others. And if, if I accidentally slip up and I’d be like, well, you know, you have to be thoughtful of what you say because you could make somebody else feel blah, blah, blah. At school they’re like, well, mom, you told me I can’t make anybody feel anything. And I’m like, well, that’s true. But they don’t actually know that yet. So it’s this dance.

[00:58:25 – 00:59:53]
It can be, it can be a powerful tool that other. That we can utilize and wield to manipulate in the wrong way too, because we learn all these things. And that person, like you said you told your child, well, this person doesn’t know yet, right? So we can’t really make them feel that way, but yet we do because they don’t understand their own emotional center, their iq. So I always told my kids, you got to be careful what you say. Not because you can’t be your unique self. You don’t know what it’s going to trigger in that person. It might not show physically, verbally. They go home and you make their day worse. Right? We really need to, need to be respectful of how we communicate because especially as we’re growing, it can be used as a tool against others. And as my kids would say, we know Daddy taught us this, but this, this kid gets this and that. Why don’t they understand needs and wants? Why don’t they understand, you know, their parents yelled at them and they didn’t, you know, they were in a bad mood, took it out on their kid. Why don’t you, you know why there’s things different here because I’m growing and along the way I’m dragging you kids along with me until you decide what your unique self is going to be. Right? Words are powerful. What we say to people are so powerful. I want to live. I want to live. A life of knowing that I lead people to want to see me again, to hear me again, to hopefully give me a hug again, because I love hugs. As a side note.

[00:59:55 – 01:03:15]
Yeah, I think. I think that the key is, like, you might not always have the right words. You might not always use the right words. If you go back to what we talked about earlier. If you stay connected to your authentic self and you are intention led, even if you don’t get it right, you have the power to revisit and make sure that you come across with the intentions as clearly as possible a second or a third time, and that it’s okay. We’re not perfect. We’ll never be perfect. It is through practice, right? Just like on our yoga mat. Like, you push your edge. You don’t go. You don’t break your bones. You don’t, like, you know, put yourself in the hospital, but you push your edge, right? Because you want to grow. And is that uncomfortable in a heated room with a lot of humidity, a lot of people? For me, yes. Do I love it? Am I growing? Is it making magic happen off my mat? Yes. So what I would say is don’t fear the growth. Don’t fear the sensations. Don’t fear the emotions or the, you know, the discomfort. Like, love it. Because that means you’re growing, and you can choose what you get out of it. So the. The cliche, it happens for you instead of it happening to you actually becomes like, oh, now I get it. That doesn’t just look good on a Tony Robbins shirt or whoever said it, if you can open. So I’ll leave you with one thing. This is really easy to remember. You know, Einstein’s theory, right? E equals MC squared. So E is the energy you want in your life. I channeled with Einstein, and he said it was okay for me to modify it a little bit because he’s in this mindset, too. E is the energy you want in your life. How do you get it? Mindful thinking. Raised to the power of compassion and curiosity. Compassion. Knowing there is that little you inside of you, and there’s that little you inside of everybody. Everybody has a little you, and we’re all Effy. There’s this Burning man artwork. I think it’s called Love or something, but I love it. It was these huge metal structures of two adult beings, right back to back, like, angry, fighting with each other with two little people inside of them, like, trying to touch hands, right? Anytime something is happening, it’s either a call for love or a show of love. Okay? So that’s the hack. That’s a compassion hack. If somebody’s making you mad, it’s not feeling like love. It’s them calling for love from the inside. The little, the inside, the little you inside them feels like, oh, I have to be afraid or somebody’s judging me. So it’s a call for love or show for love. So that’s how you can start with compassion, with your mindful thinking, even in crazy situations. And then the second is curiosity. Huh? Why might that thing, that event, that phrase, that word, why might I be upset by that? Let me get really curious, right? Why might they be doing that? Let me get really curious because then you’re going to learn and you’re going to grow and you’re going to more deeply connected and that’s the energy we all want.

[01:03:15 – 01:03:17]
No, you don’t take it as personal either.

[01:03:18 – 01:03:19]
You don’t.

[01:03:19 – 01:04:55]
Right? And that’s the whole thing is we have to stop taking things personal. We have to stop going out and sharing the truth. That used to be our truth, but now we know as a lie and we still share that true what used to be the truth. Because we don’t want to be judged. We don’t want to be ridiculed. We want to be like, Yvonne used to think this way. Now you think this way. And Yvonne’s newer self looks at him and goes, yeah, you’re right, I did used to believe that. But now I’ve changed. I’ve adapted, I’ve, I’ve grown. I’ve become more of a critical thinker on how I think stuff. So, yes, you’re right, it did. And that throws people off when you go, yeah, you’re right. But now I don’t believe that. And just say it in a right calm way, right? And just say, this is what I believe now. Thank you for bringing that up. That disarms people, too. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah, thank you for being aware of me to notice that. Right. It’s okay to pivot what people say to a positive and if it happens enough time where they’re always negative because you’ve changed, that’s your person you buy. You’re not in my tribe. Right. You go, you go over there to that side of the room. Right? I’m gonna continue to grow and change and love on myself and love on others and oh, my gosh, we’re at the end of the show, though, because I could talk to you for hours. I really want to. There were so many things I wanted to go with. The joy regenerator tool more. I wanted to talk more about that Indian holistic practice of Aya Beta. There you go. I researched that last night because of you.

[01:04:56 – 01:04:58]
Dive into it. It’s fascinating.

[01:04:58 – 01:05:14]
Well, I know, but I would love to get into diving in more of it with you. But one of the things I normally ask people you’ve already done. But I will ask you again in case there is another message. If you had to give our listeners one last closing message, what would you tell them in regards to giving a heck and never giving up?

[01:05:15 – 01:05:16]
Don’t wait.

[01:05:17 – 01:05:18]
Boom.

[01:05:18 – 01:05:32]
That’s an easy one. Don’t wait. Don’t wait to the kids go to college. Don’t wait until you get married. Don’t wait until you get divorced. Don’t wait until you lose £10. Don’t wait for a promotion. Don’t wait. Don’t wait.

[01:05:32 – 01:05:33]
Life’s in session.

[01:05:34 – 01:05:50]
Live is in session. Start the discovery. There’s so many ways you can do that. You can go to my website. I have as many free resources as I could put out there right now. UnlockLimitlessView.com forward/resources. Go play and explore with those and if you want to talk about them, book a call.

[01:05:50 – 01:07:02]
You got a good website too. Your website’s good. Very well laid out. For those new to the show, sorry because I know you said you’re in a crunch for time, go to giveaheck.com go to the podcast at the top. You will open it up and see everything about my podcast, links to rank and review my podcast, which helps to continue to grow and I appreciate that. As well as YouTube where you can go watch it. There’ll be full show notes, all the social media that Ivana is on as well as her website. There’ll be chapter summaries and a full unedited transcript. For those that really like getting into reading and they might like some something of the show, they want to read it as they’re very visual. So yes, check out giveaheck.com you’ll find out all the information you want. You’ll be able to see a picture of Vaughn and her beautiful flower glasses with her big smile that she has for those watching on YouTube. You’re blessed because she hasn’t she just. My energy level is so high when you smile and talk. It’s just amazing and I appreciate you. Thank you for being on the show. Is there any last comments before we wrap up the show?

[01:07:03 – 01:07:45]
No. Just know you’re not alone. It’s really know you’re not alone and know you don’t have to be perfect and know it’s okay to not know. Like Dwight said, start reaching out. If somebody makes you feel a positive energy, or if somebody makes you feel alive, or somebody makes you feel curious, pull the thread. You become the average of who you surround yourself with. You know, that’s well known. So who are you surrounding yourself with? It’s not rude to choose. Be selective. You deserve it. You deserve your life the way you want it. Not in 10 years. Not in five years. Today.

[01:07:46 – 01:08:01]
Exactly. Thank you so much for that. So thanks so much for being on. Give a heck of on. I appreciate your time and sharing some of your experiences so that others too can learn. It is never too late to give a heck.